2014 has, by and large, been a very eventful and positive year for me. Everything from interviewing at Facebook in Hong Kong, the Epic North America trip, WWDC, the super whirlwind trip to Singapore for the wedding of the century and ending it with some great company, lots of drinks and some pretty hilarious board games. It is very unusual that I have an eventful year so there is going to be some pretty big shoes for 2015 to fill. Or any other year in fact. But I think the most important of all, is that it is the year that I felt God's presence in a way that I have never felt before. That you know without a shadow of a doubt that He is there. And that is supremely profound thing to experience.
It is also the year where lots of relationships have shifted. Equally as many people got married as there are people getting engaged, my sister including. Most people I know have never been happier with all the relationships that have moved around, whether personally or just the people around them. Everyone have something or someone to look forward to.
This is the year where I have decided to take that leap of faith in shaking up a lot of my relationships that I have (or what's left of them). Stepping down from playing music in a church that I have been in for the past decade has been a very difficult decision to make but have made it anyway. Which I think it is a good time for me to do that because I think it is about time that I try serving in other areas in my current church, one where I can now fully say that it is my home church. One where I will be spending more time trying to build the relationships that I have started there. Another aspect is that a friend that I have known for more than 5 years is moving interstate and she is the glue that binds a lot of us together. It is going to be a great challenge maintaining that relationship with the others now that she is no longer going to be around.
Now in the new year, more than ever, I will have a lot to deal with my relationships. I am terrible at maintaining them, not to mention that I am a terrible friend. But mostly, searching for a core group of friends is going to be difficult. It is said that you would have at most 5 really good friends in your lifetime, one that will know you inside out. I can confidently say that I have none for the longest time. Either that I am too lax with catching up with people or that people are not that interested in this square. Whatever the case, something has got to give.
So I welcome 2015 with open arms yet with caution that I will not become my own undoing.
***
3 more years.
Version 3.0
Thursday, November 20, 2014
at
11:41 PM
People have a thing for birthdays. Most would celebrate the birthdays of others and some will go to great lengths to celebrate their own. I've been to some pretty epic birthday bashes and I generally had great fun celebrating. It is, of course, a major day for most people in their lives. Most would love to celebrate their birthdays with family and friends and would certainly look forward to it.
I, on the other hand, have grown up not really having a close idea of celebrating my own. For the first decade or so, birthdays have always been celebrated with family. For good reason too. Back then, school starts in December, which meant that we have our month long school holidays in November. That is usually a time that we would travel to Penang, which is where my parents were born and where most of my relatives lived. So I celebrated my birthday there. I remember the times that my birthday were held at fast food joints like McDonalds or A&W because that was considered as a well accepted place to celebrate your birthday. Especially when you are a kid.
The following two decades or so after that changed. Back then there was a major change such that school starts in January and so the month long holidays are in December. This meant that the end of the year exams were in November. And so the rest of my birthdays were celebrated at home, with my parents and my sister. Followed by stern warnings of going back to study for the exams. And so as time passes by, the thought of celebrating my birthday diminishes into almost nothingness. I've gotten to the point that my birthday is just another ordinary day. I haven't gotten to the point of forgetting my own birthday (although I do know a person who sometimes does that) but I certainly lived as though I did.
So even to my working days, I don't really celebrate my own birthday. I don't even tell people my birthday anymore unless severely prompted. I've managed to hide my birthday even from my community group for the 2.5 years that I have been in. I like the quiet and have grown accustomed to it.
This year however, was a little different. One thing led to another and that led to a lot more people figuring out my birthday (and you might have guessed that it has something to do with hedgehogs). And with the recent sermon at church on friendship, it has forced me to reevaluate my current position of not letting people know about my birthday, even to my friends. I've always take the position of being the passive one in the friendship and granted that I have lost quite a few a long the way because of that. I think it is about time that I know the joy of an active friendship.
That should be this decade's resolution.
***
Having being in the cross-fire of a relationship triangle is no fun at all. I can't decide which is worse, being in a relationship triangle or being the middleman to all three people in the triangle.
Even worse, I'm the armchair theorist. I have zero good advice because I have zero experience.
I, on the other hand, have grown up not really having a close idea of celebrating my own. For the first decade or so, birthdays have always been celebrated with family. For good reason too. Back then, school starts in December, which meant that we have our month long school holidays in November. That is usually a time that we would travel to Penang, which is where my parents were born and where most of my relatives lived. So I celebrated my birthday there. I remember the times that my birthday were held at fast food joints like McDonalds or A&W because that was considered as a well accepted place to celebrate your birthday. Especially when you are a kid.
The following two decades or so after that changed. Back then there was a major change such that school starts in January and so the month long holidays are in December. This meant that the end of the year exams were in November. And so the rest of my birthdays were celebrated at home, with my parents and my sister. Followed by stern warnings of going back to study for the exams. And so as time passes by, the thought of celebrating my birthday diminishes into almost nothingness. I've gotten to the point that my birthday is just another ordinary day. I haven't gotten to the point of forgetting my own birthday (although I do know a person who sometimes does that) but I certainly lived as though I did.
So even to my working days, I don't really celebrate my own birthday. I don't even tell people my birthday anymore unless severely prompted. I've managed to hide my birthday even from my community group for the 2.5 years that I have been in. I like the quiet and have grown accustomed to it.
This year however, was a little different. One thing led to another and that led to a lot more people figuring out my birthday (and you might have guessed that it has something to do with hedgehogs). And with the recent sermon at church on friendship, it has forced me to reevaluate my current position of not letting people know about my birthday, even to my friends. I've always take the position of being the passive one in the friendship and granted that I have lost quite a few a long the way because of that. I think it is about time that I know the joy of an active friendship.
That should be this decade's resolution.
***
Having being in the cross-fire of a relationship triangle is no fun at all. I can't decide which is worse, being in a relationship triangle or being the middleman to all three people in the triangle.
Even worse, I'm the armchair theorist. I have zero good advice because I have zero experience.
|
0
comments
|
My Seat's Getting Warm
Thursday, November 6, 2014
at
12:08 AM
I have recently walked into an improvised trap set up at a friend's place on wanting to find out about the little incidents that have been brewing up in the house lately. Acting as the middleman and the purveyor of information to a household that seems a bit of a busybody but it turns out there are motives for wanting to extract information out of me. Once again, I am called upon my services to listen to the various relationship situations and to give my opinion about it.
I am really not comfortable about all of this, particularly because of the secrets that I have to keep as well as the moral dilemma about this rather complex situation. The other people in the room don't seem to think so, but I, on the other hand, am not so sure. It is very hard to remain unbiased about these sorts of things and it is just all round hard.
I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to one of them about the whole thing and if there was a time that clichéd relationship quotes were to come, this was the time. Everything from "nice guys finish last" to "guys are just jerks" and even to the somewhat controversial "it's not easy being a guy". We analysed every bit of the situation and try to read between the lines on what all of that meant, which in our case wasn't too difficult at all. But I have a strange feeling that someone is going to get burned in the end. They almost always do.
At the end of the day, I'm just an armchair theorist. A pretty seasoned one at that too.
The first time I have heard of the term was when a friend introduced me to this Japanese skit that has the appearance of seriousness but it's just comedy. And funnily enough, it was a 4 part skit on relationships, particularly how to get yourself a partner. I highly encourage you to watch it, it is hilarious. The term appears in the third part.
It is one of those things where you sort of understand what it means but not really. Took me a long time to figure out what it really means and it turns out I do this all the time. This is usually the approach I take when it comes to people. It's a terrible thing to do most of the time but I still do it anyway. I just like the idea that I am right in a deluded sort of way.
So really I just like thinking about stuff but not really like to get my hands dirty. That is quite possibly the source of all my problems.
***
Since Christmas season is coming soon, I'd like to get away from all the commercialisation of Christmas and also the same ol' Christmas songs playing in the shopping malls and in church. Which leads me to my current ear worm of the week, Giants Must Fall. Great Singaporean band mashing up songs together with a haunting melody on a timeless Christmas song.
Chills on my spine.
***
Another great listen is the new album from Austin Stone Worship, The Reveille Volume 2. Really great instrumental album and if you are a great fan of Explosions in the Sky and The Album Leaf, this is right up your alley. Something unique too, very few church bands venture into the instrumental part (apart from those cheesy piano based instrumentals). What I think most people forget is that it is just as important to the things that are not said as well as the things that are said. And there is a severe lack of good emotive instrumental albums out there among all the usual church bands which can speak volumes as well.
I am really not comfortable about all of this, particularly because of the secrets that I have to keep as well as the moral dilemma about this rather complex situation. The other people in the room don't seem to think so, but I, on the other hand, am not so sure. It is very hard to remain unbiased about these sorts of things and it is just all round hard.
I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to one of them about the whole thing and if there was a time that clichéd relationship quotes were to come, this was the time. Everything from "nice guys finish last" to "guys are just jerks" and even to the somewhat controversial "it's not easy being a guy". We analysed every bit of the situation and try to read between the lines on what all of that meant, which in our case wasn't too difficult at all. But I have a strange feeling that someone is going to get burned in the end. They almost always do.
At the end of the day, I'm just an armchair theorist. A pretty seasoned one at that too.
The first time I have heard of the term was when a friend introduced me to this Japanese skit that has the appearance of seriousness but it's just comedy. And funnily enough, it was a 4 part skit on relationships, particularly how to get yourself a partner. I highly encourage you to watch it, it is hilarious. The term appears in the third part.
It is one of those things where you sort of understand what it means but not really. Took me a long time to figure out what it really means and it turns out I do this all the time. This is usually the approach I take when it comes to people. It's a terrible thing to do most of the time but I still do it anyway. I just like the idea that I am right in a deluded sort of way.
So really I just like thinking about stuff but not really like to get my hands dirty. That is quite possibly the source of all my problems.
***
Since Christmas season is coming soon, I'd like to get away from all the commercialisation of Christmas and also the same ol' Christmas songs playing in the shopping malls and in church. Which leads me to my current ear worm of the week, Giants Must Fall. Great Singaporean band mashing up songs together with a haunting melody on a timeless Christmas song.
Chills on my spine.
***
Another great listen is the new album from Austin Stone Worship, The Reveille Volume 2. Really great instrumental album and if you are a great fan of Explosions in the Sky and The Album Leaf, this is right up your alley. Something unique too, very few church bands venture into the instrumental part (apart from those cheesy piano based instrumentals). What I think most people forget is that it is just as important to the things that are not said as well as the things that are said. And there is a severe lack of good emotive instrumental albums out there among all the usual church bands which can speak volumes as well.
|
0
comments
|
Churchy Stuff
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
at
12:31 AM
Last Sunday, we witnessed another friend from our Community Group getting baptised at the church anniversary. Since I have joined the Community Group about 2.5 years ago, I have witnessed 3 people who got baptised from my group and it has been a real privilege to see them grow in their faith leading up to their baptisms and the lives they live after that.
The first one who got baptised is a hilarious person who really helps organise a lot of the trips that we have as a group but she's got substance in her faith. To see her go on to lead Bible study in the group is just amazing. She also regularly goes on "fights" with another person in the group and together they remind me of those minions from Despicable Me. The resemblance is uncanny, both wears glasses, one tall and lanky, the other short. Both of them bring much laughter to the group.
The second is a student who came to our group all quiet and was really new to Christianity. At first, I was a little worried that this might be a little overwhelming and that he might not stick to the group, as I have seen too many people being like that. But he rapidly understood and became more active in the group and it is always an encouragement to see how he has matured in the faith. This is also the person who has and does somewhat random things, like taking selfies inside cupboards in Ikea, dressing up as a pirate on Talk Like A Pirate day and cycling to 3 different franchises of doughnut shops for free doughnuts and Spider Man thermals when we went on a ski trip.
And the one who got baptised on Sunday, she is an Australian who is more Asian than most Asians. I don't mean that she can speak better Mandarin than most Asians. She dabbles in a lot of different subcultures like goth, emo, punk, lolita and a touch of cosplaying, mainly the Japanese variety. Knows Japanese and Chinese culture and history better than anyone I know. Still plays Magic The Gathering, Pokemon and Final Fantasy games. Has audio engineering under her belt and plays bass and is proud of the fact that she married a rock star (or at least to her) and is his biggest fan. And yet her devotion to reading the Bible or wanting to know more about the Bible is just as strong, if not stronger. And she cares for a lot of us in the group which is just amazing. She also says the funniest things and sometimes with no filter on. She once thought that the two new people in the group, both from New Zealand, were secretly dating and when she found out that they weren't, she subtly try to make it happen. Because expectation did not match reality. She also asked me to try and date a person that I mentioned quite a bit and when I told her that she was married, she replied with a matching face saying "Well that's disappointing!"
It's not only the great and awesome things that God has been doing in our church over the past few years but also what God has been doing in our community groups as well. To see these three people and the rest of the people who make up the community group go forward makes me glad I stayed on.
***
It seems that Hillsong have been putting up some good content on their site/blog, something that I would have thought to be a bit far fetched to the 5-years-ago-me. Like this on worship leading. I bet more than 80% of churches I've been to don't really do half of the things there or not with the right mindset. This is not rocket science people.
***
The gold standard for mixing songs with sermons has always been Shane and Shane's Embracing Accusation with John Piper delivering the sermon snippet. I'm not a real fan of the song used below, but coupled with Matt Chandler and John Piper's sermon snippets I'd say it ranks up there with Embracing Accusation.
***
This article came to me in a very timely fashion on stepping down in ministry. It is worth the read.
The first one who got baptised is a hilarious person who really helps organise a lot of the trips that we have as a group but she's got substance in her faith. To see her go on to lead Bible study in the group is just amazing. She also regularly goes on "fights" with another person in the group and together they remind me of those minions from Despicable Me. The resemblance is uncanny, both wears glasses, one tall and lanky, the other short. Both of them bring much laughter to the group.
The second is a student who came to our group all quiet and was really new to Christianity. At first, I was a little worried that this might be a little overwhelming and that he might not stick to the group, as I have seen too many people being like that. But he rapidly understood and became more active in the group and it is always an encouragement to see how he has matured in the faith. This is also the person who has and does somewhat random things, like taking selfies inside cupboards in Ikea, dressing up as a pirate on Talk Like A Pirate day and cycling to 3 different franchises of doughnut shops for free doughnuts and Spider Man thermals when we went on a ski trip.
And the one who got baptised on Sunday, she is an Australian who is more Asian than most Asians. I don't mean that she can speak better Mandarin than most Asians. She dabbles in a lot of different subcultures like goth, emo, punk, lolita and a touch of cosplaying, mainly the Japanese variety. Knows Japanese and Chinese culture and history better than anyone I know. Still plays Magic The Gathering, Pokemon and Final Fantasy games. Has audio engineering under her belt and plays bass and is proud of the fact that she married a rock star (or at least to her) and is his biggest fan. And yet her devotion to reading the Bible or wanting to know more about the Bible is just as strong, if not stronger. And she cares for a lot of us in the group which is just amazing. She also says the funniest things and sometimes with no filter on. She once thought that the two new people in the group, both from New Zealand, were secretly dating and when she found out that they weren't, she subtly try to make it happen. Because expectation did not match reality. She also asked me to try and date a person that I mentioned quite a bit and when I told her that she was married, she replied with a matching face saying "Well that's disappointing!"
It's not only the great and awesome things that God has been doing in our church over the past few years but also what God has been doing in our community groups as well. To see these three people and the rest of the people who make up the community group go forward makes me glad I stayed on.
***
It seems that Hillsong have been putting up some good content on their site/blog, something that I would have thought to be a bit far fetched to the 5-years-ago-me. Like this on worship leading. I bet more than 80% of churches I've been to don't really do half of the things there or not with the right mindset. This is not rocket science people.
***
The gold standard for mixing songs with sermons has always been Shane and Shane's Embracing Accusation with John Piper delivering the sermon snippet. I'm not a real fan of the song used below, but coupled with Matt Chandler and John Piper's sermon snippets I'd say it ranks up there with Embracing Accusation.
***
This article came to me in a very timely fashion on stepping down in ministry. It is worth the read.
|
0
comments
|
No Credentials
Monday, October 27, 2014
at
1:04 AM
So many things that I want to write on but haven't had the time to sit down (or in my case, stand up) and actually write them down.
I think it is a recipe for disaster for anyone to ask me for relationship advice yet people still ask of it from me. Me. Of all people, me. It's either that I have done something good or that people are deluded into hearing what I "have" to say. What good ever come out of asking a single person whose one previous relationship went up in flames because he/she botched it up? I don't even listen to the things I say to people.
I think I should have copious amounts of whiskey/bourbon every time I get asked advice. As I am doing this very moment. On a Sunday night.
Also having good whiskey/bourbon stocked is always a win.
***
I am super stoked that my new desktop is coming tomorrow. My current one is about to kick the bucket. Just in the nick of time.
I think it is a recipe for disaster for anyone to ask me for relationship advice yet people still ask of it from me. Me. Of all people, me. It's either that I have done something good or that people are deluded into hearing what I "have" to say. What good ever come out of asking a single person whose one previous relationship went up in flames because he/she botched it up? I don't even listen to the things I say to people.
I think I should have copious amounts of whiskey/bourbon every time I get asked advice. As I am doing this very moment. On a Sunday night.
Also having good whiskey/bourbon stocked is always a win.
***
I am super stoked that my new desktop is coming tomorrow. My current one is about to kick the bucket. Just in the nick of time.
|
0
comments
|
Blind Spot
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
at
12:18 AM
It was supposed to be a simple trip to a friend's place, to grab the dining table that my said friend was giving it away due to relocation. Grab table, say thank you and drive home with the goods. But in the end, it ended up being a three day ordeal in trying to help my friend get rid of stuff in preparation to moving out of the country. Needless to say, that this took a hit on my sleeping patterns again.
The root cause of all of this basically boiled down to issues with (pseudo)-relationships and bad planning. But mainly the former. As I got to know more of the context that I was in, in trying to help my friend pack and get rid of stuff, the clearer it became to me that this "relationship" is going to be a rather toxic one if my friend decided to go ahead with it despite our numerous serious concerns about it. We got even more frustrated as we are stressing about the number of things that we have to do for our friend before flying back to the home country for the last time and I'm sure that internally we were all going to break down crying.
While talking it over dinner, some friends of mine aptly shut down any sort of venting lest it turns into something bitter. One in particular said, "We were all in that position before. Weren't we all stupid at one stage or another in a (potential) relationship?". And that made me think, not about the situation that spanned basically the entire week, but the people around me and relationships, both good and bad. Come to think of it, the ones who were at the dinner table all have stories of stupidity in relationships that resulted in train wrecks including yours truly. All of us, have been jaded at some stage to the advice of our friends and sometimes even to our own conscience. We've all gone through train wrecks and somehow we still survived. Because the longing of the affections from another is so strong that it blinds us.
There are people who have gone through their entire lives not knowing what is it like to be part of a train wreck, only acknowledging that relationships are hard but have no real sense of what a fallout might look like. And to that, I say that it is probably good that you have been spared from such things. Then there are the people who have sat in a train wreck, watch everything collide in slow motion, get a whiplash, tumble around and getting injured. Whether you live or you die depends on what happens next. The ones who crawl out, injured and all, understanding what went wrong are the ones who come out wiser. The people at the dining table are part of that group. There is a certain club you join when you know that you have burned yourself and knowing not to do that again. The ones who don't, live to make the same mistakes and with increasing callousness. These are the people who will eventually cause the train wrecks.
Of late, the new friends that I have gotten to know of, all fall in the second group. And you know, that gave me enormous comfort. We have seen the scars and now we have all come out with elevated levels of EQ. This to me, is reality. None of that love at first sight or even first love stuff, though that sometimes happen. Love is a battlefield. I thank God for friends who are more of the S and F side of Myer-Briggs, like the guys at the table, at times like this. Helps bring a lot of order and rationale to something as complicated as relationships. We tend to say things like "I deserve better than this", like the affection of another needs to be held up against some moral standard whether it is your own or an unspoken set of rules, when in reality we are no better if you boil it down. The faster you realise this, with the help of others who have gone through train wrecks, sometimes multiple ones, the better you'd be if/when someone else walks in and suddenly disrupts your life for the better.
Everyone should know the ugliness of relationships gone sour and not shy away from it but to confront it and overcome it with a love that comes with such purity that it cannot come from our own standards. I wish more people are like that.
***
People are getting married and having babies left, right and centre according to the Book of Face. And way too many pictures of that. Time to counter that with pictures of corgis of my own. Now where can I get one?
The root cause of all of this basically boiled down to issues with (pseudo)-relationships and bad planning. But mainly the former. As I got to know more of the context that I was in, in trying to help my friend pack and get rid of stuff, the clearer it became to me that this "relationship" is going to be a rather toxic one if my friend decided to go ahead with it despite our numerous serious concerns about it. We got even more frustrated as we are stressing about the number of things that we have to do for our friend before flying back to the home country for the last time and I'm sure that internally we were all going to break down crying.
While talking it over dinner, some friends of mine aptly shut down any sort of venting lest it turns into something bitter. One in particular said, "We were all in that position before. Weren't we all stupid at one stage or another in a (potential) relationship?". And that made me think, not about the situation that spanned basically the entire week, but the people around me and relationships, both good and bad. Come to think of it, the ones who were at the dinner table all have stories of stupidity in relationships that resulted in train wrecks including yours truly. All of us, have been jaded at some stage to the advice of our friends and sometimes even to our own conscience. We've all gone through train wrecks and somehow we still survived. Because the longing of the affections from another is so strong that it blinds us.
There are people who have gone through their entire lives not knowing what is it like to be part of a train wreck, only acknowledging that relationships are hard but have no real sense of what a fallout might look like. And to that, I say that it is probably good that you have been spared from such things. Then there are the people who have sat in a train wreck, watch everything collide in slow motion, get a whiplash, tumble around and getting injured. Whether you live or you die depends on what happens next. The ones who crawl out, injured and all, understanding what went wrong are the ones who come out wiser. The people at the dining table are part of that group. There is a certain club you join when you know that you have burned yourself and knowing not to do that again. The ones who don't, live to make the same mistakes and with increasing callousness. These are the people who will eventually cause the train wrecks.
Of late, the new friends that I have gotten to know of, all fall in the second group. And you know, that gave me enormous comfort. We have seen the scars and now we have all come out with elevated levels of EQ. This to me, is reality. None of that love at first sight or even first love stuff, though that sometimes happen. Love is a battlefield. I thank God for friends who are more of the S and F side of Myer-Briggs, like the guys at the table, at times like this. Helps bring a lot of order and rationale to something as complicated as relationships. We tend to say things like "I deserve better than this", like the affection of another needs to be held up against some moral standard whether it is your own or an unspoken set of rules, when in reality we are no better if you boil it down. The faster you realise this, with the help of others who have gone through train wrecks, sometimes multiple ones, the better you'd be if/when someone else walks in and suddenly disrupts your life for the better.
Everyone should know the ugliness of relationships gone sour and not shy away from it but to confront it and overcome it with a love that comes with such purity that it cannot come from our own standards. I wish more people are like that.
***
People are getting married and having babies left, right and centre according to the Book of Face. And way too many pictures of that. Time to counter that with pictures of corgis of my own. Now where can I get one?
|
0
comments
|
Superposition
Sunday, September 7, 2014
at
9:08 PM
Ever since I have been to City On A Hill's Vision Night last month, I have been considering on whether I should concentrate my areas of service to COAH or not. There are a lot of things that are in the pipeline that I am really excited about and it makes me re-evaluate my time spent serving at church. I have been thinking and praying about it for quite a while now and it is not an easy decision on it.
There are a few reasons that it is a difficult thing to decide on but one of the main things is that I would not be involved in music anymore. That is a pretty big thing even though that I am not that good at the music thing. I think it is partly to do with the fact that I am a bassist (Oh, we need a bassist. You look like you can play bass). I love music especially when you get to do really good things for music in church. But in order that I might concentrate my efforts to just COAH means that I will have to give up the whole idea that I can be serving in music. And you know, after months of ruminating about it, I find that it is not a big deal for me to give that up. I'm slowly letting go of what I want to do in church and instead to ask the question what can I do in church. I think being around the people in church has made that leap a bit easier to make. Bass playing shall now be shifted to being a hobby, I'm not much of a performer anyway no matter how much I try.
Another part is that I will be moving away from the very people that I used to hang out and serve when I first came to Melbourne as a student 10 years ago. Even though that most of them wouldn't really think of me now when it comes to events or what nots, I still remember what they were/are to me. It is also the church where I have a proper grounding in the Bible which I am eternally grateful for. 10 years of good Bible teaching, 10 years of serving and 10 years of bad pastor's jokes, it's a lot to move away from and lots have changed. I am really apprehensive about not being apart of all of that. But I think it is time that I begin to make that move. I haven't quite decided yet on when I should make the move but it is in the horizon. I'm sure people will barely notice that I will be gone anyway which would be a lot easier on me.
I kinda wish that I can be at two places at once, but I am not a quantum mechanical being. And so I must choose.
***
Speaking of quantum mechanics, I think I am at the stage where I have met enough people that any other new person that I meet will remind me of people in the past. It is a very strange place to be in, just like the world of quantum mechanics.
Take my new housemate for example. She reminds me of different people depending on what she is doing. The resemblance is uncanny at times. I think the last time I counted she reminds me of at least 5 different people. There is probably more but I haven't observed them yet.
And recently, we have a new comer in our small group who also reminds me of another person that I know. Again the resemblance is uncanny.
I think I am just weird. Weirder than normal. Everyone is weird.
***
Speaking of being weird. This.
Swoon. So good.
***
Speaking of good. This.
She's so cute and massively talented. You should check out the rest of her stuff on her Youtube channel.
There are a few reasons that it is a difficult thing to decide on but one of the main things is that I would not be involved in music anymore. That is a pretty big thing even though that I am not that good at the music thing. I think it is partly to do with the fact that I am a bassist (Oh, we need a bassist. You look like you can play bass). I love music especially when you get to do really good things for music in church. But in order that I might concentrate my efforts to just COAH means that I will have to give up the whole idea that I can be serving in music. And you know, after months of ruminating about it, I find that it is not a big deal for me to give that up. I'm slowly letting go of what I want to do in church and instead to ask the question what can I do in church. I think being around the people in church has made that leap a bit easier to make. Bass playing shall now be shifted to being a hobby, I'm not much of a performer anyway no matter how much I try.
Another part is that I will be moving away from the very people that I used to hang out and serve when I first came to Melbourne as a student 10 years ago. Even though that most of them wouldn't really think of me now when it comes to events or what nots, I still remember what they were/are to me. It is also the church where I have a proper grounding in the Bible which I am eternally grateful for. 10 years of good Bible teaching, 10 years of serving and 10 years of bad pastor's jokes, it's a lot to move away from and lots have changed. I am really apprehensive about not being apart of all of that. But I think it is time that I begin to make that move. I haven't quite decided yet on when I should make the move but it is in the horizon. I'm sure people will barely notice that I will be gone anyway which would be a lot easier on me.
I kinda wish that I can be at two places at once, but I am not a quantum mechanical being. And so I must choose.
***
Speaking of quantum mechanics, I think I am at the stage where I have met enough people that any other new person that I meet will remind me of people in the past. It is a very strange place to be in, just like the world of quantum mechanics.
Take my new housemate for example. She reminds me of different people depending on what she is doing. The resemblance is uncanny at times. I think the last time I counted she reminds me of at least 5 different people. There is probably more but I haven't observed them yet.
And recently, we have a new comer in our small group who also reminds me of another person that I know. Again the resemblance is uncanny.
I think I am just weird. Weirder than normal. Everyone is weird.
***
Speaking of being weird. This.
Swoon. So good.
***
Speaking of good. This.
She's so cute and massively talented. You should check out the rest of her stuff on her Youtube channel.
|
0
comments
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
