TL;DR
Games can be like books, good environment and a good story.
***
My general philosophy on what are the kinds of games I usually play are very simple. One that either has a very immersive environment where you are just so captivated by the universe is created by the game where you can spend hours on hours just looking around or one that has a very well crafted story and pays very good attention to detail. I reckon that the kinds of games that I choose to play and how I treat it is very similiar to how people choose fictional books to read. Two very seemingly different things but have the same sorts of experiences when consuming them.
Over the past month, I've played two such games, games that have completely taken over my Saturdays, having never ventured out to get some sun, coffee or friends. The first one was Fez, a 2D puzzle platform game in a 3D world. The background music, the picturesque worlds and the incredibly hard puzzles makes you just want to get lost in this kind of environment. A lot of the game play emphasises a lot of exploration of different areas (and of course to solve puzzles to get to those areas) adds the experience. It's just like a good narrative. Even though I have finished the game, it was clear that there is actually more to the game than what is necessary to complete the game. Many more secrets that are hidden throughout the different areas that you have explored.
The other game was Bioshock Infinite. There are many things that I like about the Bioshock universe, many things that I think people (Asians in particular) might find a bit weird for me to get into. But one thing that the Bioshock games have always had was a good plot. A well crafted story one that will grab your attention from beginning to end. The other thing that it has done well was incorporating themes like the fallenness of man's efforts when they have elevated their achievements to God like levels, the sins people commit, the regrets or the moral issues that a man faces. This is no different in Bioshock Infinite. The character Elizabeth deserves special mention. They have put so much character into this person in the game that she seems almost human. It is very hard not to be captivated by her, not just how she looks but in the character that she portrays in the game. I can't remember when was the last book that I have read that has all these things in a book that I just simply cannot put down. Then again, it was a long time since I have read books to that level.
What's next? I'm tempted to go back to Bioshock Infinite just to have a second pass at the story. There are some bits that are missing when I first played it through and also to reinforce what was going (the story was quite involved and need to have a think about all the things that were said. A bit like Butterfly Effect, Donnie Darko and other such films).
Games and films are in a way like substitute for books for me. When they are done well, they can tell a whole different story without words. Mainly because that I prefer to see non-verbal communication.
***
The loneliness continues.
Sabbath
Sunday, August 4, 2013
at
11:43 PM
TL;DR
Hermit Saturdays. Big company is big.
***
I think I have gotten used to the idea that my rest day is Saturday. Staying at home, lazing around at home in bed, either playing games or doing reading (but mostly playing games). No going out, no brunch, nothing. Which I think is very strange for most people in Melbourne considering it is brunch capital, where there is an expectation that you should feel dirty if you haven't visited a brunch place at least once or twice a week. In fact, I can't remember when was the last time I went for brunch or a cafe this year. I think it was in April but I can't be sure of that. Am I missing much? Probably but doesn't really matter.
I think this is the introverted side taking charge. Monday to Friday you're busy at work, having to interact with people all day and by the time you are home, there are lots of other things to do. Then there is Saturday. The self decides to say "OK, you are not going out and instead you stay at home while everyone else is out there and you are going to find something to do and you will like it". And then Sunday comes around where I usually spend most of the day around church people.
I largely attribute this Saturday alone time to the fact that I am becoming older, much more picky about things and people (and maybe grumpy and cynical). Having less friends to hang out with and other people spending time with their significant others is also happening at an increasing rate. This is probably just me trying to make the most out of the situation.
Basically I need to have a third group of friends, one that is outside the work and church environment. Maybe I should take up stitching.
***
I find it amazing that a little under two years ago, I started working for this small company of 10 (I was #10). And since then, I have watched about 45 people walked through the doors of our office and become whom I call as colleagues. From a team that consisted of a few iOS developers, just one Android developer and three directors to now a full stack app development company and having everything in house.
And now I am pondering what is going to happen in the next two years of my life. It's that time again.
Hermit Saturdays. Big company is big.
***
I think I have gotten used to the idea that my rest day is Saturday. Staying at home, lazing around at home in bed, either playing games or doing reading (but mostly playing games). No going out, no brunch, nothing. Which I think is very strange for most people in Melbourne considering it is brunch capital, where there is an expectation that you should feel dirty if you haven't visited a brunch place at least once or twice a week. In fact, I can't remember when was the last time I went for brunch or a cafe this year. I think it was in April but I can't be sure of that. Am I missing much? Probably but doesn't really matter.
I think this is the introverted side taking charge. Monday to Friday you're busy at work, having to interact with people all day and by the time you are home, there are lots of other things to do. Then there is Saturday. The self decides to say "OK, you are not going out and instead you stay at home while everyone else is out there and you are going to find something to do and you will like it". And then Sunday comes around where I usually spend most of the day around church people.
I largely attribute this Saturday alone time to the fact that I am becoming older, much more picky about things and people (and maybe grumpy and cynical). Having less friends to hang out with and other people spending time with their significant others is also happening at an increasing rate. This is probably just me trying to make the most out of the situation.
Basically I need to have a third group of friends, one that is outside the work and church environment. Maybe I should take up stitching.
***
I find it amazing that a little under two years ago, I started working for this small company of 10 (I was #10). And since then, I have watched about 45 people walked through the doors of our office and become whom I call as colleagues. From a team that consisted of a few iOS developers, just one Android developer and three directors to now a full stack app development company and having everything in house.
And now I am pondering what is going to happen in the next two years of my life. It's that time again.
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Prepackaged
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
at
12:10 AM
TL;DR
Kids think chicken come from the supermarket. Parents blame education. I say, "Hold It!"
***
Mingle around with enough older Singaporeans and you will likely to come across a conversation where it details the very sad state of the education system back home. Horror stories where kids these days don't know what a chicken looks like or can't identify one apart from what they see in the supermarket, wrapped in plastic wrap all neatly dismembered and ready for cooking. I used to be horrified upon hearing this but after much thought, there is a deeper concern that I think is even more horrific.
I've recently met an older lady visiting Melbourne to see her cousin and she was a teacher in Singapore before uprooting and decide to call Vancouver home. She detailed that she has seen it all in the education system, including the said horror above. And so apparently when the opportunity came, she cashed in and "rescued" her children to a better place, home of the Canucks. She gave her reason that she didn't want her children to be growing up in this kind of environment where streaming happens as early as 9 years old and the pressure to perform academically continues to build up even past graduation from university. Also she didn't want the remote chance of her own flesh and blood stooping down to the level that they can't distinguish between the image of a live chicken and the one in the meat section of the supermarket.
While I do agree that Singapore's education system leaves a lot to be desired, like the unnecessary pressure to perform at such a young age, education via spoon feeding information and placing heavy emphasis on passing exams, I can't decide whether the said horror is a result of the state of the education system or just bad delegation of a child's education in common sense. Sure, the lack of ability to think critically or "outside the box" definitely came out from the far from ideal formal education system but I wonder whether the parents have simply shifted the responsibility of educating their children in the lost art of common sense to the formal education establishments.
And it is not surprising if it is the case that they did. Considering that the average work hours of the working Singaporean is around 9 hours (though this number is a very conservative number), commute time can be anywhere between 20 minutes to over an hour (which is amazing considering that the nation is only 20 km by 40 km), it is amazing that any time at all is available for themselves or their own relationships. For families, this means employing a domestic caretaker, additional classes for the children (not necessarily because the the child is weak in a particular area) etc. More and more responsibility that used to be on the part of the parents has now been moved to other people to do they jobs that they were meant to be doing as in their parent's generation so that they can, ironically, do the jobs that they are supposed to be doing.
It is going to be a matter of time before they hear of horror stories like this one, and they will be outraged, reminisce about the days when they were kids that they seem to have acquired an advanced stage of common sense that their kids. Common sense it seems, has become part of the school curriculum. And schools are not doing a good job at instilling common sense to the future of Singapore, it seems.
It is no wonder that more and more Singaporeans are leaving the country such as this lady that I've met. She left on the grounds of a failing education system and got out while she still can. I am more and more convinced that the reason is more of culture than schools.
I guess the point of this is that there are things that we can blame for the faults of others, whether it is in a person or in a nation. But to blame it on things that came as a consequence of a deeper issue is a red herring.
There are things that schools are meant to teach, science, math, history and the likes but there are some things that should be taught by parents and can never be left to schools to teach. They are, in my opinion, non-negotiable. Big words coming from a person who neither has children nor married. Not even having a pet. Whether you choose to brush me off because of my lack of "credentials" or expertise in the area is up to you. Just think about this, would you sit and do nothing about teaching your children street smarts that no school can teach?
PS: I have yet to hear the same horror story in urbanised Malaysian kids and we somewhat have the same sorts of problems as our southern neighbours, if not worse. Case of first world problems maybe?
PPS: That lady was a lot like my aunty. The character resemblance would be almost uncanny if my aunty was characteristically Singaporean. Very nice lady.
Kids think chicken come from the supermarket. Parents blame education. I say, "Hold It!"
***
Mingle around with enough older Singaporeans and you will likely to come across a conversation where it details the very sad state of the education system back home. Horror stories where kids these days don't know what a chicken looks like or can't identify one apart from what they see in the supermarket, wrapped in plastic wrap all neatly dismembered and ready for cooking. I used to be horrified upon hearing this but after much thought, there is a deeper concern that I think is even more horrific.
I've recently met an older lady visiting Melbourne to see her cousin and she was a teacher in Singapore before uprooting and decide to call Vancouver home. She detailed that she has seen it all in the education system, including the said horror above. And so apparently when the opportunity came, she cashed in and "rescued" her children to a better place, home of the Canucks. She gave her reason that she didn't want her children to be growing up in this kind of environment where streaming happens as early as 9 years old and the pressure to perform academically continues to build up even past graduation from university. Also she didn't want the remote chance of her own flesh and blood stooping down to the level that they can't distinguish between the image of a live chicken and the one in the meat section of the supermarket.
While I do agree that Singapore's education system leaves a lot to be desired, like the unnecessary pressure to perform at such a young age, education via spoon feeding information and placing heavy emphasis on passing exams, I can't decide whether the said horror is a result of the state of the education system or just bad delegation of a child's education in common sense. Sure, the lack of ability to think critically or "outside the box" definitely came out from the far from ideal formal education system but I wonder whether the parents have simply shifted the responsibility of educating their children in the lost art of common sense to the formal education establishments.
And it is not surprising if it is the case that they did. Considering that the average work hours of the working Singaporean is around 9 hours (though this number is a very conservative number), commute time can be anywhere between 20 minutes to over an hour (which is amazing considering that the nation is only 20 km by 40 km), it is amazing that any time at all is available for themselves or their own relationships. For families, this means employing a domestic caretaker, additional classes for the children (not necessarily because the the child is weak in a particular area) etc. More and more responsibility that used to be on the part of the parents has now been moved to other people to do they jobs that they were meant to be doing as in their parent's generation so that they can, ironically, do the jobs that they are supposed to be doing.
It is going to be a matter of time before they hear of horror stories like this one, and they will be outraged, reminisce about the days when they were kids that they seem to have acquired an advanced stage of common sense that their kids. Common sense it seems, has become part of the school curriculum. And schools are not doing a good job at instilling common sense to the future of Singapore, it seems.
It is no wonder that more and more Singaporeans are leaving the country such as this lady that I've met. She left on the grounds of a failing education system and got out while she still can. I am more and more convinced that the reason is more of culture than schools.
I guess the point of this is that there are things that we can blame for the faults of others, whether it is in a person or in a nation. But to blame it on things that came as a consequence of a deeper issue is a red herring.
There are things that schools are meant to teach, science, math, history and the likes but there are some things that should be taught by parents and can never be left to schools to teach. They are, in my opinion, non-negotiable. Big words coming from a person who neither has children nor married. Not even having a pet. Whether you choose to brush me off because of my lack of "credentials" or expertise in the area is up to you. Just think about this, would you sit and do nothing about teaching your children street smarts that no school can teach?
PS: I have yet to hear the same horror story in urbanised Malaysian kids and we somewhat have the same sorts of problems as our southern neighbours, if not worse. Case of first world problems maybe?
PPS: That lady was a lot like my aunty. The character resemblance would be almost uncanny if my aunty was characteristically Singaporean. Very nice lady.
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No Legacy Survive
Sunday, June 30, 2013
at
11:32 PM
After today's conversation, I think it validated my decision to distance myself from some groups of people. It's just not healthy for me to be around them but above all, it will probably end up being a stumbling block for me. Better to be forgotten and live life than to be remembered as the person who self-destructed.
It was also a conversation that was difficult to have for a number of reasons, not just because it reflects the fallenness of humanity. It's still difficult to talk but there are signs of a little progress.
On a separate note, after years of not making coffee since learning the basics of making your regular lattes, turns out that I still got it. Just need to go a little easy on the milk frothing.
All of this when I was working on the weekend...
When no one was around...
And I was in the zone...
Best working Saturday ever.
It was also a conversation that was difficult to have for a number of reasons, not just because it reflects the fallenness of humanity. It's still difficult to talk but there are signs of a little progress.
On a separate note, after years of not making coffee since learning the basics of making your regular lattes, turns out that I still got it. Just need to go a little easy on the milk frothing.
All of this when I was working on the weekend...
When no one was around...
And I was in the zone...
Best working Saturday ever.
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1 comments
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Conflict of Interest
Friday, June 21, 2013
at
12:25 AM
I think it is safe to say that I wouldn't trade the past 3 hours for anything in the world. I would go as far as saying that the 4 of us came out of the conversation challenged yet having difference of opinion.
I think what struck me the most about the conversation, though something that is quite hard to chew, that the simplified hypothetical question of one person with all heart but no music vision and a person with no heart but immense music vision and you had to choose one to lead a music ministry, the answer does not always boil down to choosing one or the other, or even choosing the person with all heart because it is the only right answer. In fact almost all the time that is never the case anyway in reality. Very hard thing to wrap your head around it because it seems like it lies in contention with what we've mostly learned about leadership especially in the Christian environment. Even trying to describe this very briefly here is very difficult because there is so much more that needs to be considered before finally getting the definition of the situation, let alone at coming up with a solution. And I think it is something that we need to look out for when we have the difficult discussions on choosing leaders or any context where it demands some sort of having responsibility over people. Because when presented with 2 seemingly opposing qualities and you have to make a choice, the number of choices is not 2. In the case of the all-heart-no-music and no-heart-all-music scenario, there is option 3 and option 4. Either you get both of them in or neither and keep looking.
Why is it that we like to present simplified situations demanding rather binary answers, myself not sparing? It's probably because we like textbook answers, that if we give the right answers according to the textbook, that we are automatically doing the right thing. But in reality, it is almost never the case though some are easier to spot that others. While I recognise that this analogy is taking it to the extreme end but it sounds like the Pharisees demanding black and white decisions. Do this thing specifically and you are keeping the law or do not do this thing and you are keeping the law. Jesus often turn a lot of these things on it's head and he still does the right thing. Point being is that before we snap up the seemingly right answers after being presented the choices, we have to think carefully on whether does it reflect reality or whether there are other options that are equally valid. Sometimes the best decision, or in this case, the decision that glorifies God most may not be simply choosing the one of the two people who has one quality but not the other. For who knows what God can turn around for his kingdom?
Another thing that I thought was worth ruminating over that was brought up was that for an effective music ministry, one that serves the congregation and God through music, there are three levers that need to be pulled in equal measure. Those levers are discipline, ministry and artistic merit. You can't be lacking in any one of these qualities because the lack of one will affect the overall growth of the music ministry. It has been pointed out therefore, a good leader must strive for excellence in all three areas equally. And it is very hard. It is very hard to choose the right people for the job. And while we recognise that none of us are perfect but there must be that attitude to improve all three areas at the same time. Again, trying to expound these aspects more is very difficult, about as difficult as the previous point. Of course the three levers I speak of here can be applied in any ministry area with some minor changes but regardless of the fact, a good leader must pursue all areas in equal measure.
After all this talk, it has actually humbled me a lot more as a musician serving in a music ministry. To know what my role is, which is to support the worship leader and to follow under that person's leadership. I think the key area that will affect me would be how I respond when a suggestion of mine will not be used even though I think it is really cool. I used to be deeply affected by it because I see it as a threat to music growth. But now I submit myself to the music vision of the worship leader. Having said that, the worship leader has more responsibility than just to dictate the style of the music. The worship leader will need to grow in the three areas I spoke of before. The difference is to develop these areas outside of the practice sessions not during. Even more so at church where we barely even have 45 minutes to practice 4-5 songs. And that's on a very good day.
I suspect that some of you might not agree with I've said. That's ok because I found it hard to swallow when I first heard it. But after long discussions about it, I start to understand what is being said while still reserving my opinion on some nitty gritty details of the subject. I don't expect you to follow suit but I do hope that you think about it a little more.
I think what struck me the most about the conversation, though something that is quite hard to chew, that the simplified hypothetical question of one person with all heart but no music vision and a person with no heart but immense music vision and you had to choose one to lead a music ministry, the answer does not always boil down to choosing one or the other, or even choosing the person with all heart because it is the only right answer. In fact almost all the time that is never the case anyway in reality. Very hard thing to wrap your head around it because it seems like it lies in contention with what we've mostly learned about leadership especially in the Christian environment. Even trying to describe this very briefly here is very difficult because there is so much more that needs to be considered before finally getting the definition of the situation, let alone at coming up with a solution. And I think it is something that we need to look out for when we have the difficult discussions on choosing leaders or any context where it demands some sort of having responsibility over people. Because when presented with 2 seemingly opposing qualities and you have to make a choice, the number of choices is not 2. In the case of the all-heart-no-music and no-heart-all-music scenario, there is option 3 and option 4. Either you get both of them in or neither and keep looking.
Why is it that we like to present simplified situations demanding rather binary answers, myself not sparing? It's probably because we like textbook answers, that if we give the right answers according to the textbook, that we are automatically doing the right thing. But in reality, it is almost never the case though some are easier to spot that others. While I recognise that this analogy is taking it to the extreme end but it sounds like the Pharisees demanding black and white decisions. Do this thing specifically and you are keeping the law or do not do this thing and you are keeping the law. Jesus often turn a lot of these things on it's head and he still does the right thing. Point being is that before we snap up the seemingly right answers after being presented the choices, we have to think carefully on whether does it reflect reality or whether there are other options that are equally valid. Sometimes the best decision, or in this case, the decision that glorifies God most may not be simply choosing the one of the two people who has one quality but not the other. For who knows what God can turn around for his kingdom?
Another thing that I thought was worth ruminating over that was brought up was that for an effective music ministry, one that serves the congregation and God through music, there are three levers that need to be pulled in equal measure. Those levers are discipline, ministry and artistic merit. You can't be lacking in any one of these qualities because the lack of one will affect the overall growth of the music ministry. It has been pointed out therefore, a good leader must strive for excellence in all three areas equally. And it is very hard. It is very hard to choose the right people for the job. And while we recognise that none of us are perfect but there must be that attitude to improve all three areas at the same time. Again, trying to expound these aspects more is very difficult, about as difficult as the previous point. Of course the three levers I speak of here can be applied in any ministry area with some minor changes but regardless of the fact, a good leader must pursue all areas in equal measure.
After all this talk, it has actually humbled me a lot more as a musician serving in a music ministry. To know what my role is, which is to support the worship leader and to follow under that person's leadership. I think the key area that will affect me would be how I respond when a suggestion of mine will not be used even though I think it is really cool. I used to be deeply affected by it because I see it as a threat to music growth. But now I submit myself to the music vision of the worship leader. Having said that, the worship leader has more responsibility than just to dictate the style of the music. The worship leader will need to grow in the three areas I spoke of before. The difference is to develop these areas outside of the practice sessions not during. Even more so at church where we barely even have 45 minutes to practice 4-5 songs. And that's on a very good day.
I suspect that some of you might not agree with I've said. That's ok because I found it hard to swallow when I first heard it. But after long discussions about it, I start to understand what is being said while still reserving my opinion on some nitty gritty details of the subject. I don't expect you to follow suit but I do hope that you think about it a little more.
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Leftovers
Sunday, June 16, 2013
at
11:58 PM
It's quite possibly the first time that someone has made the bold move of asking me the question "Do I have a problem with couples?". Well except that one other time but that was more of a one-to-one level rather than a general question.
To which I gave my answer while still not revealing my full hand and started a long chain of conversations, navigating through the minefields that would normally get your face punched if stepped on. Many hard issues to grapple with and most, if not all, of them not having a straightforward right answer. Safe to say that we went away from that dinner table challenged and full of subsequent thoughts on the matters presented.
Funny what leftover steamboat food can do to a bunch of people. That or the pre-packaged bak kut teh soup base used for the steamboat.
To which I gave my answer while still not revealing my full hand and started a long chain of conversations, navigating through the minefields that would normally get your face punched if stepped on. Many hard issues to grapple with and most, if not all, of them not having a straightforward right answer. Safe to say that we went away from that dinner table challenged and full of subsequent thoughts on the matters presented.
Funny what leftover steamboat food can do to a bunch of people. That or the pre-packaged bak kut teh soup base used for the steamboat.
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The Art of Manliness
Saturday, June 8, 2013
at
4:12 PM
For the past couple of weeks, we've had a miniseries on men, women and marriage at church. It was very good though possibly may be a little controversial for some people. But for me it was all good reminders of things that I have already known before.
However, when finishing up the miniseries on the topic of men, I have had one of the strongest rebukes I have heard from the front of the church. It was a rebuke that was harsh, stern and dare I say one that shook me up a lot. It was right there and then that I realised that I am still not a man but boy, one who lacks maturity and ownership of responsibilities. I remember walking home after church praying because it had so shaken me up that there was nothing else left to do but to pray. I can't remember when was the last time I did that but it certainly was about time.
And if that wasn't enough, the rest of the week demonstrated that I am far from being that person of maturity and responsibility. The need to not want to be tied down with responsibilities such as at work, pushing them away by using some lame excuse, not owning up etc. just seems to rear its ugly head out every time. Now that I am examining my past decisions and what the outcomes were, it was no wonder that I have been constantly disappointed by how it turned out to be because of my attitude. The past became so much clearer and a lot less rose-tinted.
The art of manliness as it turns out, is just more than just what you wear or how you wear it or how you interact with other people. I think all of these things are secondary to how you respond to a call. Whether it is a call to do the work, a call of confession, a call to ministry and possibly the call to arms, the right response to these calls is what defines a man.
Needless to say, that I am in a pretty tough situation personally but I can only hope that I will learn something out of this, and learn it before spiral down even further. Acknowledgement of the problem is the first step. Hopefully I don't stay there.
--------------------------------------
I have been so tired over the past few weeks because of all the work that I have to do that Saturday has really been my Sabbath. As it was back in the old days. Does watching videos of corgis count as work on the Sabbath? Great mystery indeed.
However, when finishing up the miniseries on the topic of men, I have had one of the strongest rebukes I have heard from the front of the church. It was a rebuke that was harsh, stern and dare I say one that shook me up a lot. It was right there and then that I realised that I am still not a man but boy, one who lacks maturity and ownership of responsibilities. I remember walking home after church praying because it had so shaken me up that there was nothing else left to do but to pray. I can't remember when was the last time I did that but it certainly was about time.
And if that wasn't enough, the rest of the week demonstrated that I am far from being that person of maturity and responsibility. The need to not want to be tied down with responsibilities such as at work, pushing them away by using some lame excuse, not owning up etc. just seems to rear its ugly head out every time. Now that I am examining my past decisions and what the outcomes were, it was no wonder that I have been constantly disappointed by how it turned out to be because of my attitude. The past became so much clearer and a lot less rose-tinted.
The art of manliness as it turns out, is just more than just what you wear or how you wear it or how you interact with other people. I think all of these things are secondary to how you respond to a call. Whether it is a call to do the work, a call of confession, a call to ministry and possibly the call to arms, the right response to these calls is what defines a man.
Needless to say, that I am in a pretty tough situation personally but I can only hope that I will learn something out of this, and learn it before spiral down even further. Acknowledgement of the problem is the first step. Hopefully I don't stay there.
--------------------------------------
I have been so tired over the past few weeks because of all the work that I have to do that Saturday has really been my Sabbath. As it was back in the old days. Does watching videos of corgis count as work on the Sabbath? Great mystery indeed.
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