The past couple of days I've been spending time clearing my stuff around the house to be packed neatly and to start living off a suitcase soon. I'm usually very lazy when it comes to regularly cleaning my stuff so it is no surprise that I find very ancient documents. Some of them are pleasantly surprising, bringing back some kind of memories of years gone by. Others though are like skeletons in a closet you forgot ever existed. Finding them reminds you of a time where you'd prefer not to remember anything.
Apparently I still kept my conditional offer letter to Cambridge and whatever thick booklets they have sent to me. That was probably my most proudest moment, that I finally got accepted into the university that I'd wanted to go for years, to be amongst giants in the mathematical society. Although I didn't go eventually (and after much hindsight, kinda regretted that move) it was definitely one of the best things to come out at that time. I think since I've been mixing around with more Singaporeans than my fellow countrymen, I came across a pamphlet for international students that are about to commence a postgraduate study in the United Kingdom to obtain an Academic Technology Approval Scheme (ATAS) certificate prior to entering the country. Reading that document was pretty funny in Singlish. Hehe.
Coming from the same year, I found some other things that greatly contributed to my insecurities and to some extent, my cynicism. After reading a letter from the past, it reminded me of the poor choices that I have made and have paid quite a price for it. There were some positives, as any of these will have, but deep down I somewhat knew it wasn't the best choice. This makes me sound a bit of an ass but I was right. But it doesn't matter any more. Because of many occasions like this, I constantly beat myself up for not doing the right thing from the very start. Actually I just beat myself up.
It's funny for me to think that these two events happened in the same year. One terrifying high and low. For a person who isn't too fond of taking the emotional roller coaster, it's not a surprise that that year was probably the least favourite of them all. What's even more interesting is that even though these two events seem completely independent of each other, I cannot remember one without the other. It's like a mental monument erected as some kind of a milestone for me to remember this year even though I'm not terribly fond of it.
So where does all of this lead me to? Your guess is as good as mine.
------------------------
Three songs on loop
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
0 comments