It's been awhile since my mum set foot in Melbourne and I would have to say I am not liking it to some extent. Every now and then, I get a lecture on what needs to be done in particular how to stay here. I think she has made it crystal clear that I am not to go back in any circumstance unless I have no option which feels quite forceful. I don't know if this is all in my head but I think she is psyching me out of going back home with political instability (fair enough), random bashings of people she know etc. She really wants me to get a PR, even more than I do! And with that comes every fighting chance of me getting one no matter how slim it is as long as it doesn't involve anything higher than the cost of the PR application. It just feels very strange.
Well anyway, regardless of what goes on now, one thing is for sure that the next month or two is going to be the most uncertain months ever. I'm think it's safe to say that I would like to drop my course, simply because on hindsight, there are waaay too many stumbles just trying to take and do this course. Now the big question is am I able to start another course, one that would gear me towards working in companies rather than in uni as I previously had in mind? Or rather, are my parents able to let me start? Difficult question to answer. Bear in mind that despite me giving up on the academic life, I still want to go into it later down the line. Just that now is probably not the time. In the end, it is in God's hands and whatever action that will happen it is because that is the path that is best for me. Pray that I will understand this far better than just saying it.
Going to have dinner with my relatives tomorrow night since my mum is here. I was just arranging stuff with my sister on what time should we leave etc. and she mentioned that it is time to put on the social face. Quite interesting, because I would be putting on the meeting-my-benefactors face aka. facing-judgment face aaka. family-progress-report face. Almost every time, I sort of dread it when I'm going to have dinner with my relatives because I don't like the settings. Your head goes through what are the possible questions they are going to ask you and figure out prepared answers for those and the usual nonsense and by the end of the day you feel so drained thinking so much. Really not worth it man.
Most people love it when their mothers/parents come over to visit because they don't have to cook. Their mums will cook their favourite dishes and everything will be just peachy. I, on the other hand, do not have this priviledge. We'd almost always go out to eat. It's good once in awhile but when it becomes an everyday thing, you really become quite sick of it. Especially when you know that home cooked meals are always the best. Even more to my disadvantage, my mother is the lesser cook of the two. How great would it be for your mum being a stellar cook that will just transport you home because of what she cooks. Her taste buds are OK but her food opinions are often swayed by other people, much like her opinions about anything. When it comes to food, I often look up to my dad. Until now, his fried rice kicks the behind of any other fried rice (Jon Lai's one came close though). Not to mention, his salted veg soup, soya sauce pork and other Nyonya dishes. His palate is excellent and can almost pass for a proper food critic. But, he is the person to go to for Chinese food and not food in general. He doesn't like Western style cooking nor pastries nor desserts. He will still eat them but rarely anything impresses him. Being a person who loves food, my parents aren't good role models for me. In fact, most of the techniques of cooking/baking I have I learnt from scratch. But I digress. I'm just saying that I would like to be that person who would rejoice in home cooked food from my parents when they visit. Eating out all the time is a chore.
On a different note, my sister is going back to Malaysia for 2 weeks. That means I will have the whole house to myself for 2 whole weeks!! That means a party with alcohol, booze, wine, champagne, moonshine and shandy!! But seriously, thinking about it, I had an idea somewhat threading along those lines. I was thinking that I'd invite a few people (no more than 6) and I'd cook either a 2 course lunch or a 3 course dinner. The catch is that I would do this every day for a week (except Sunday). It is an interesting concept but a challenging one at that. Will need a lot of planning especially that I aspire to make my own stocks for the lunches/dinners. *rub chin* Very interesting. Needs more thought...
Writing these things at nearly 5 in the morning messes up what you want to say, so forgive me if it doesn't seem like there is a point to all of this. I do, just that it got lost between the overly salty instant noodles and the mildly stale bread I had for supper.
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