God has instead shown me this path I'm on which is great but my questions were still left unanswered. I've accumulated many theoretical answers about the question of Why but none has really shown itself to me. You've always known that God is sovereign and every thing will work out in the end but you just don't see it. And it is very tempting to say that all this talk is just rubbish, that every thing will not work out in the end and perhaps the worse thing, is that God is not sovereign. We even sing songs about God's timing and sometimes I can't help but feel it deep down that I'm not sure of all of this.
Recently I had a talk with a friend who I have not seen for quite some time and the topic of my PhD years was asked of me. I gladly stated the whole story also knowing that I am going to revisit this question some time later as usual. But this one was different. It soon became immediately clear that whatever I faced during my PhD years this friend of mine was facing or will face, though this person is in a PhD program yet. Slowly the emotional weight of what this person was carrying was made known and the resemblance was so similiar to mine that it actually felt like it was mine. So I gave my advice and you know, it may not be much but it certainly comforted my friend a lot. We prayed before we left knowing very well my friend had a lot to think about but certainly felt a lot better leaving than coming in.
Call it coincidence, serendipity, fate and what not but that encounter to me was proof enough that this was the reason I went through so much strife in my PhD years. For the first time I get to see what does it actually mean for God to be sovereign. Another bonus is that it is also helping me with my other struggles as well. I am very thankful for that.
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Other people around me are doing well, have good things going for them. I would like to have them as well but I pray for contentness.
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