I was talking to a friend on how he got turned down after chatting up a girl while on assignment in quite possibly one of the funniest way possible. Even he admitted it was pretty funny albeit he said he died a little inside. I have to give it to my friend there who had the guts to pull off something like that and turned the tables on what could have possibly been a very awkward moment thanks to his quick wit. Totally worth staying up to hear that story but nearly died at work.
We have all seen it in TV dramas, films etc. on how guys will try to bars, clubs, coffee places and other places of interest and try to chat up a girl in the hopes that some random stranger might be interested in going out for dates. My sister has had guys try and do the same, though she is a little bit more cunning. To put it lightly, she gets free drinks and gets away with it. This is the part that does not compute with me. Time after time, presumably the same guys who go in night after night "hunting", buy drinks and may not even see any results whatsoever. Isn't it futile? I just don't understand it.
Which means to say that even though my friend there took a chance on a stranger and failed but in a graceful manner, it is still something that I would not bring myself to do even though based on first impressions it looks good. Perhaps I'm just too guarded or maybe just old-fashioned. Some friends of mine try to fix me on the outside using some crowd-sourcing methods so that I would magically transform into this suave gentlemen who would have the aura and the guts to pick up random girls. That's not how I roll yo. Not to mention that the very idea of trying to pick up random girls is, to me, unthinkable. On a side note, this joint effort to transform me came out from jumping the gun on certain Twitter messages that was meant for my interview to get me my current job. Wrong context people.
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Spent the last 4 hours watching sappy Youtube videos. I'm sorry. It won't happen again #probablyalie
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Going onsite for the rest of the week. This is going to be exciting.
Long Walks By The Beach (Or Some Rubbish Like That)
Monday, February 27, 2012
at
3:00 AM
I can think of no other activity that is better at keeping your sanity in solace, building relationships and keeping yourself (et. al.) healthy than to go for an extended walk. I'm talking about 45-60 minutes of walking, away from the malls, popular hangout places, just the scenic route. I think everyone should do this at least once a week.
Walking alone gives space to clear your head, let you hear your thoughts after all the hustle and bustle that we go through in everyday life. It helps maintain some form of sanity, to let you know there is such a thing as quiet. And it is a deeply satisfying thing, almost zen-like. If you are not part of the Forever Alone club, it's a time to talk with little distractions, either to enhance the relationship or to fix things. It's a time of just being the two of you and no one else. I'm sure the both of you would appreciate the intimacy once in awhile like this. I hear it does wonders to the relationship. But you didn't hear that from me.
They say time is money and I am sure that there are a number of people I know who don't buy into this whole "time wasting" activity where you do pretty much next to nothing. With everything moving at light speed, from checking our Twitter, Facebook and emails the moment we wake up to having our schedules booked up either because of work or other things, we really need to learn to slow down from time to time. I remember back in our schooling days we start to complain when we have tuition on virtually every single subject, that it really starts to eat into our time. Nowadays, we do all of that AND still go for classes of every single activity there is and learn to play multiple instruments. It is amazing that we are still even breathing after all that. Slow down.
Go explore. Either by yourself or with that special someone. Thank me some other time.
For the record, walking alone for 60+ minutes is not a euphemism for being emo.
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The past few weeks that I've been talking to some people I haven't been seen or talk to in awhile have been interesting. Most of them out of nowhere starting ranting about something that has bee going on in their life barely a couple of questions into the conversation. It somewhat takes me by surprise but not completely turned off by it. Basically I'm just the wall. This is something that is largely foreign to me. I do not have the habit of ranting to others because I think it's bad enough that other people have their own problems, why should they hear mine? Basic principle is that I do not want to disturb, one of the few principles that govern nearly every single thing I do. I am beginning to see some merit in ranting to others, I'm just not there yet.
On a slightly related note, this makes me the perfect candidate for being the captain of the boat. Except I stay in Stage 2.
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Is it just me or are Malaysians getting better at making short films? Youtube is wonderful.
Walking alone gives space to clear your head, let you hear your thoughts after all the hustle and bustle that we go through in everyday life. It helps maintain some form of sanity, to let you know there is such a thing as quiet. And it is a deeply satisfying thing, almost zen-like. If you are not part of the Forever Alone club, it's a time to talk with little distractions, either to enhance the relationship or to fix things. It's a time of just being the two of you and no one else. I'm sure the both of you would appreciate the intimacy once in awhile like this. I hear it does wonders to the relationship. But you didn't hear that from me.
They say time is money and I am sure that there are a number of people I know who don't buy into this whole "time wasting" activity where you do pretty much next to nothing. With everything moving at light speed, from checking our Twitter, Facebook and emails the moment we wake up to having our schedules booked up either because of work or other things, we really need to learn to slow down from time to time. I remember back in our schooling days we start to complain when we have tuition on virtually every single subject, that it really starts to eat into our time. Nowadays, we do all of that AND still go for classes of every single activity there is and learn to play multiple instruments. It is amazing that we are still even breathing after all that. Slow down.
Go explore. Either by yourself or with that special someone. Thank me some other time.
For the record, walking alone for 60+ minutes is not a euphemism for being emo.
-----------------------------------------
The past few weeks that I've been talking to some people I haven't been seen or talk to in awhile have been interesting. Most of them out of nowhere starting ranting about something that has bee going on in their life barely a couple of questions into the conversation. It somewhat takes me by surprise but not completely turned off by it. Basically I'm just the wall. This is something that is largely foreign to me. I do not have the habit of ranting to others because I think it's bad enough that other people have their own problems, why should they hear mine? Basic principle is that I do not want to disturb, one of the few principles that govern nearly every single thing I do. I am beginning to see some merit in ranting to others, I'm just not there yet.
On a slightly related note, this makes me the perfect candidate for being the captain of the boat. Except I stay in Stage 2.
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Is it just me or are Malaysians getting better at making short films? Youtube is wonderful.
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Old vs. New
Monday, February 20, 2012
at
3:00 AM
I was talking to a friend today on one of those once-a-month (or two?) brief catchups. One of the few things that was different about this talk was the revisiting of old ideals of mine. Given that I have more or less secured myself in the mobile app making business instead of living the ideal life that I have carved out for myself for years since my A-levels days, what has really change? Did I change?
It is a very simple question yet I do not know where to begin to find the answer to that. I still want to teach but what is to become of my current career as a code monkey? As I have said to my friend, I still want to do. I don't know when or how but I'd still like to do it. There is definitely a way to marry my profession with the thing I want to do the most but I lack the vision or foresight to do it. Which leads me to one question, am I really just holding on to old ideals and not learning to let go? If you'd ask me whether I'd work as a programmer three years ago and I would have said no way but yet here I am working for a great startup-ish company programming and am tremendously blessed just being here. Am I really willing to throw this all away if or when an opportunity comes knocking at my door to live the humble, noble, seriously underpaid teacher's job? I cannot answer that.
I was further reminded about a blog post early last year about the use of Youtube videos for science and math purposes from our conversation. And I am delighted to hear that there is apparently something being done back home that might try to mimic this system. Though I am fairly convinced that an education revolution back home is unlikely to happen overnight or in 5 years but say for argument sake that it did happen. Would I jump to be a part of this revolution? I cannot answer that.
There have been many good things here in Melbourne, things I wouldn't have believe it even if I went back in time and tell my past self that it is going to be nothing short of spectacular. All the friends I'd meet, all the things that I would be doing with my friends, the whole schbang. And now this. A place of satisfaction. Finally. Is it time for me to let go of teaching? Perhaps it's just me being in the state of a sunk cost fallacy. I don't know.
I hear distant speeches saying at least I can teach my children the right way in the background. That is assuming I'm in the position of having kids, which may not be true, and as it stands at the moment, beginning to be unlikely. Whatever. I guess this will all unfold in due time but for now I've got to learn to not expect anything and certainly preparing myself to letting it go if it is time for me to do so.
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People behave strangely when they are starstruck. I was at a friend's performance yesterday and another friend of mine was ridiculously shy about meeting the guitarist. He also happens to be a really good singer-songwriter. And I mean really good. So when the gig was over and there was a short meet and greet session, we all encourage her to go talk to him. This was particularly frustrating for all of us and nothing short of gently leading him to her actually got something going.
I don't have a problem like that meeting my personal stars like Marcus Miller late last year. I do have a problem talking to the people I like. Two totally different things. Srsly.
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I actually saw a sign that reads 'Made from a combination of 100% "arabica" beans'. There's so many things wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to begin. Darebin sports centre, you're funny.
It is a very simple question yet I do not know where to begin to find the answer to that. I still want to teach but what is to become of my current career as a code monkey? As I have said to my friend, I still want to do. I don't know when or how but I'd still like to do it. There is definitely a way to marry my profession with the thing I want to do the most but I lack the vision or foresight to do it. Which leads me to one question, am I really just holding on to old ideals and not learning to let go? If you'd ask me whether I'd work as a programmer three years ago and I would have said no way but yet here I am working for a great startup-ish company programming and am tremendously blessed just being here. Am I really willing to throw this all away if or when an opportunity comes knocking at my door to live the humble, noble, seriously underpaid teacher's job? I cannot answer that.
I was further reminded about a blog post early last year about the use of Youtube videos for science and math purposes from our conversation. And I am delighted to hear that there is apparently something being done back home that might try to mimic this system. Though I am fairly convinced that an education revolution back home is unlikely to happen overnight or in 5 years but say for argument sake that it did happen. Would I jump to be a part of this revolution? I cannot answer that.
There have been many good things here in Melbourne, things I wouldn't have believe it even if I went back in time and tell my past self that it is going to be nothing short of spectacular. All the friends I'd meet, all the things that I would be doing with my friends, the whole schbang. And now this. A place of satisfaction. Finally. Is it time for me to let go of teaching? Perhaps it's just me being in the state of a sunk cost fallacy. I don't know.
I hear distant speeches saying at least I can teach my children the right way in the background. That is assuming I'm in the position of having kids, which may not be true, and as it stands at the moment, beginning to be unlikely. Whatever. I guess this will all unfold in due time but for now I've got to learn to not expect anything and certainly preparing myself to letting it go if it is time for me to do so.
-------------------------------------
People behave strangely when they are starstruck. I was at a friend's performance yesterday and another friend of mine was ridiculously shy about meeting the guitarist. He also happens to be a really good singer-songwriter. And I mean really good. So when the gig was over and there was a short meet and greet session, we all encourage her to go talk to him. This was particularly frustrating for all of us and nothing short of gently leading him to her actually got something going.
I don't have a problem like that meeting my personal stars like Marcus Miller late last year. I do have a problem talking to the people I like. Two totally different things. Srsly.
-------------------------------------
I actually saw a sign that reads 'Made from a combination of 100% "arabica" beans'. There's so many things wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to begin. Darebin sports centre, you're funny.
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Lunchtime Philosophy
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
at
2:00 AM
I don't know if this is something everyone will go through at some point in their lives. That you are out with friends/colleagues for some noms and out of nowhere comes a serious discussion about life, consciousness, religion, free will etc. And the worst part is the realisation that you are completely unprepared to talk it out. Even more so if you are a Christian.
This of course happened to me not once but twice in the same week over lunch with my colleagues. I am pretty grateful that they are not hostile towards the general idea of religion, some of my friends may not be so fortunate. As we throw our ideas back and forth, it became very clear to me that this is the kind of conversation that I am lacking in participation simply because of the absence of such rock-the-boat events. As I ponder quietly upon the walk back from lunch, do we as Christians not talk about these things anymore? The things that we so ignorantly sweep under the carpet or avoid altogether? Maybe even take it for granted. It is my current gripe that we as Christians do not wrestle with these things anymore. Are we really compartmentalising our "spirituality" to within the four walls of church?
I will admit that I'm not a person who would go about instigating conversations like the ones I had with my colleagues, but that doesn't mean I don't like talking about it. Better that than not talking or thinking about it at all. Perhaps it is time to be a little more proactive.
Two things I learned from my highly thought provoking over-the-table talks with the colleagues. One, there is a greater need/urge to equip myself to speak confidently on matters like these. You cannot be lukewarm and expect your words to carry weight. Two, there is at least one person whose thought processes and reasoning skills are not far off from the truth. Take comfort in that and press on.
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I'm still not used to living here. Feels a little too temporary, occasionally a little odd. Quieter than when I first came to Australia for studies.
Perhaps I've gotten used to my sister's sewing machine running in the middle of the night. Dammit.
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It's amazing what kind of opportunities come knocking at your door due to a very random question.
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It's about high time for me to make kaya.
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5 Centimetres Per Second is another great Makoto Shinkai film but probably the wrong film to watch today. Of all days.
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5 Centimetres Per Second is another great Makoto Shinkai film but probably the wrong film to watch today. Of all days.
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Little Monster
Saturday, January 28, 2012
at
3:00 PM
So it's been some time since I did a bar crawl. Even rarer was doing a bar crawl while having an empty stomach. But my bar crawls are unlike most people, where I'd go to places where quality cocktails are mixed and talk the night away. But in my tipsy (but still functioning) condition of mine, after bar crawling to 5 different basr, it turns out that I am more aware of my flaws than when zero alcohol in my bloodstream.
Over just about half an hour I've engaged myself with a debate with one of my friends on, of all things, food. Or rather the approach to food. This little exercise proved to me that I am more stubborn than I actually am and reminded about the dinner that I had with my friend not too long ago. In fact I've written a post on it as well, detailing how I was essentially shot down by my friend's frank and blunt analysis. This debate proved to me once and for all that I am incredibly stubborn. Worse still, is that I am incredibly stubborn on the things that I claim to know a lot about.
I am of the opinion that a person who loves food and enjoys making it cannot confine his/her self to one set of techniques, similiarities in flavour, contrast in flavour and so on. Appreciating food while at the same time not wanting to cook in that direction to me feels very contradictory. Finding that less is more in food usually works but that doesn't mean that it is the be all and end all. Simplicity in food can be highly regarded, focusing on the freshness of a few key ingredients and that is it. Which is fine, but to appreciate bold, complex flavours and not be the least bit curious on trying it out for yourself makes me very puzzled.
But what do I know? I'm just a simple monster in disguise.
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First time hosting Australia Day barbeque. Have had loads of fun even during the earlier part of the day when there was just three of us. Very chill. And I have to say I am very happy with sorbet #4.
Too bad Federer lost.
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Roger Federer is one of the few people that makes a sport look beautiful. Every return he makes is very graceful and if you watch the slow motion replays, he is one of the few people who, not only does not make funny faces in slow motion, has a very zen expression, almost effortless. Or that of a classical pianist feeling through a piece. This is a prime example where gracefulness does not equate to weakness. Watch his backhand returns, while it looks almost artistic and gentle but the speed he can generate off his backhand is incredible. He also does not plough through a game through brute strength but with cleverness, a tactician. His personality off court as well is something to be desired. Couple these few qualities together and you'll see something wonderful.
He can be categorized under 3 words that make up the Dunhill slogan back home. Gaya. Mutu. Keunggulan. (Non Malay speakers: Style. Quality. Excellence.)
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Sigh.
Over just about half an hour I've engaged myself with a debate with one of my friends on, of all things, food. Or rather the approach to food. This little exercise proved to me that I am more stubborn than I actually am and reminded about the dinner that I had with my friend not too long ago. In fact I've written a post on it as well, detailing how I was essentially shot down by my friend's frank and blunt analysis. This debate proved to me once and for all that I am incredibly stubborn. Worse still, is that I am incredibly stubborn on the things that I claim to know a lot about.
I am of the opinion that a person who loves food and enjoys making it cannot confine his/her self to one set of techniques, similiarities in flavour, contrast in flavour and so on. Appreciating food while at the same time not wanting to cook in that direction to me feels very contradictory. Finding that less is more in food usually works but that doesn't mean that it is the be all and end all. Simplicity in food can be highly regarded, focusing on the freshness of a few key ingredients and that is it. Which is fine, but to appreciate bold, complex flavours and not be the least bit curious on trying it out for yourself makes me very puzzled.
But what do I know? I'm just a simple monster in disguise.
-----------------------------------------
First time hosting Australia Day barbeque. Have had loads of fun even during the earlier part of the day when there was just three of us. Very chill. And I have to say I am very happy with sorbet #4.
Too bad Federer lost.
-----------------------------------------
Roger Federer is one of the few people that makes a sport look beautiful. Every return he makes is very graceful and if you watch the slow motion replays, he is one of the few people who, not only does not make funny faces in slow motion, has a very zen expression, almost effortless. Or that of a classical pianist feeling through a piece. This is a prime example where gracefulness does not equate to weakness. Watch his backhand returns, while it looks almost artistic and gentle but the speed he can generate off his backhand is incredible. He also does not plough through a game through brute strength but with cleverness, a tactician. His personality off court as well is something to be desired. Couple these few qualities together and you'll see something wonderful.
He can be categorized under 3 words that make up the Dunhill slogan back home. Gaya. Mutu. Keunggulan. (Non Malay speakers: Style. Quality. Excellence.)
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Sigh.
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7 Habits of Mediocre Leadership
Saturday, January 21, 2012
at
5:00 PM
I would say that most people struggle with the principle that good leaders should be born out of servanthood. That these people have done the time and rise through the ranks by their acts of service and performance to then finally be in a position of leadership. They didn't get there by bossing people around from the very start (though people may act like it). And all that jazz. I understood all of that quite well for a very long time. However, it dawned upon me that I had a very different struggle from most people, another misconception about leadership, at least personally.
Yesterday I had one of those late night conversations with a couple of friends and the in passing statement about leadership came up. The context is irrelevant, but needless to say it kinda struck me even though nothing much about leadership was mentioned again. For the longest time, I kept thinking that there is no difference between a person who serves and a person who is in a position of leadership born out of service. The person of leadership is just a label, a title that gives the illusion of a higher power/calling/whatever but fundamentally, both look exactly the same. To be good at both, you need to serve well. It's just that one has a cubicle with no name on it while the other has a shiny office with an engraved plaque with your name on it. All very exterior.
But thanks to my unbeknownst friends of mine, it caused me to think twice on my misconception. The actions of the leader are, in my opinion, slightly different from the role of a servant. I'm not exactly sure how to put it down in words but their actions show and carry more weight, that their eventual act of service in leading carries more meaning, have the initiative. Ok, sounds a little wrong but for a lack of a better description that will have to do for now.
This of course has implications about my current situation. There are some things where I cannot sit there and expect things to happen. I need to step up to the plate. This is so not in my comfort zone but I think the time has come for me to just do it lest I will continue to ponder on the "What if...?"s. To show some kind of an attempt at leadership. If it in due time that a position of leadership does not work out for me, then fine. I learn better when I make one mistake, especially if it is a big one.
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I think it is also time for me to stop dodging questions.
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Is it just me or when some fairly close friends who just got together with someone or just got married that they'll start the whole pay it forward thing? That they try to pick your brains and try to set you up with someone or at least, in my terminology, start poking you? Why do they do that?
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Pardon the language, but when a friend was describing about how he used to think, he called himself a wanker. Which is funny because that is how I am thinking now, like him then. Strong words for me to change my thinking.
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There is still hope.
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Making Milo can be a very messy and slightly dangerous process. I may need a hazmat suit and lab goggles when I make Milo the next time.
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Last one, based on my analytics, I've concluded that there only 6 people who regularly read this blog. All of which I suspect they've bookmarked this on Google Reader or . And I think I know all of these readers. Maybe I should start putting it up on Facebo...nah, too boring for the regular masses.
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A Side Of Cold Hard Truth, Please
Monday, January 16, 2012
at
9:30 PM
Recently I had dinner with a friend from my undergrad days. It has been about two years since the last time I saw my friend and it was good being able to catch up over a meal. This friend of mine has had it tough, especially the couple of years before the last time I met up with my friend so it is good to know that everything is well.
Our conversations strayed from side to side, covering the usual basics of catching up to random things to even avoiding some people in the place where we had our meal. It's like uni days all over again. Goodness I miss uni.
Then the real conversation began. It started with a new year resolution from my friend and quickly spread to other related areas, in particular relationships with friends and of course being the very kay-poh person my friend is, relationships. For one and a half hours, we've debated, questioned and wrestled with countless issues on this matter. And I have to say I was struggling to keep up with maintaining a coherent line of thought, harder still was to be able to convey my thoughts which I suspect is on the decline as I get older. Stretching over dinner and bubble tea, we just talked and talked that time just went by so quickly. And the bubble tea was getting warm.
Then finally, as the closing argument, my friend made this statement that shook me in a very unexpected way. "Juwen. You are a stubborn, over-thinking person, you know? Always thinking and acting the way you want it to happen. And when it doesn't, you freeze.". I was stunned for 5 seconds just in shock from what my ears were hearing. This is the part where I would start talking nonsense like in those cartoons. Here is a friend who hasn't seen me in over 2+ years and within a dinner session, saw right through me. Saying to yourself that you are stubborn and over-thinking and hopeless when things don't go your way is one thing, it is a completely different thing when you are hearing it from someone else, more so from someone whom you see as formidable. If any other normal person said this to me, I would gladly admit it. But when you get shot down like this, you admit it with a heavy burden. The two feelings are not the same, in fact the impact from the two are worlds apart.
So as we parted ways (and apparently accepted an interesting proposal), I reflected on all the relevant things that I have done and the actions I have taken and I have to say my friend is right. What my friend said about me transcends the scope of the conversation even though that's all my friend knows during that dinner session. That is how I act.
I wish I had more friends like this one, one who's not afraid to tell you that you are weak but in a totally non-judgmental, holier-than-thou way. As they say, iron sharpens iron.
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I'm usually about half a decade behind the games scene but humour me. Mass Effect is so good.
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We all have lists of people who are cute, pretty and hot, whether you know it or not. But the one that trumps them all is elegance.
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I'm really itchy to make noodles from scratch. Perhaps it is because of my ever growing desire for chilli pan mee. Like nao.
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