A friend posted a tweet this morning with a link to Shane and Shane's song Though You Slay Me. Little did I know that the content of this song fits in very well with today's sermon. It also fits in with my own struggles, it's a song that preaches to me that every suffering is meaningful. All of this was I guess God letting me know that he is in control of all things, sovereign. Which happens to be the topic of the sermon or rather part thereof.
Shane and Shane have written, I think, some of the most honest Christian songs I can think of. Sure the songs that we sing week in week out are full of Scripture that remind us of the love of Christ and how great a cost that he died for us and so on and so forth. But few songs have come to describe our humanly struggles in a way that connects with us in this day and age or even our hypocrisy as part of God's church as well as Shane and Shane do (Casting Crowns comes close though). Songs like the one above, below or even the one below that are not meant to be sung in church but to be listened like how one listens to a sermon.
R U OK?
Sunday, September 15, 2013
at
11:20 PM
TL;DR
No, I am not.
***
September 12 was supposed to be day where there is a heightened sense of awareness about depression and a somewhat large campaign was mobilised to get people talking about it. And September 13 was apparently programmer day but that is another story altogether.
While as far as I am aware of my current mental state and that I do not fall in the category of clinical depression, the question that was posed during September 12 was something worth pondering about. And what I find is that the answer to that question, at least over the past few years, has been a steadily and increasingly been...no.
I struggle with a lot of things, things in the past, regrets of the even further past coming back to haunt me again. And I am really struggling. I drop in and out of being an OK person and a mild state of depression where I want to avoid a large group of people. Which makes it even harder considering that most of the people that I am trying to avoid are people that I used to be able to see them eye-to-eye, laugh and joke and talk pretty much everything under the sun. Now it takes so much mental effort just to be in a public space with them in it.
I am reminded of my own personal studies on 2 Corinthians recently and the line "My grace is sufficient for you" is something that I holding on fast to because there is nothing else that I can hold on to. Even though Paul was going through physical suffering when he penned those lines, I'm sure the same thing goes for someone going through emotional suffering. Someone who is still looking for answers or waiting on an answer.
I will wait upon the Lord.
***
I can't say that I was not a little angry/annoyed when I heard this on the way back home today. There was a context and somewhere in that context the question came up to "How do you deal with being single and all?". Now perhaps I am reading to much into it but when I heard that, the default expectation was that everyone should be attached or at least recently attached and someone has to think twice about being single especially when said person is approaching the big three-oh. There was a little irony in the context of the story but that shall be another story.
Until now, I have yet to be a part of a community of Christians that holds true equal regard and support to people who are relationships and those who are not. The default position is we need to hook up this person with someone else if someone isn't already attached. That or we just do the following, "Interested in anyone?" "No." "Oh. That's cool". Given the recent sermon at church today, it seems that we are far from holding these two groups of people with equal regard.
Some people are struggling with issues of singleness and our response is like parents consoling kids who got a D in an exam, that it is not the grade that you expect them to get but hey, at least you didn't fail. Or worse, give some kind of divine-laced answer of there are plenty of fish in the sea and you are bound to catch one. Nice idea but still wrong.
It would somewhat cool if I did burst out in outrage but I didn't. I'd still like to give the benefit of the doubt that it was totally not intended. But whether or not it was intended at that point in time or not, I'd say it is still very evident in how people look at singleness today. And I am very very annoyed at that.
No, I am not.
***
September 12 was supposed to be day where there is a heightened sense of awareness about depression and a somewhat large campaign was mobilised to get people talking about it. And September 13 was apparently programmer day but that is another story altogether.
While as far as I am aware of my current mental state and that I do not fall in the category of clinical depression, the question that was posed during September 12 was something worth pondering about. And what I find is that the answer to that question, at least over the past few years, has been a steadily and increasingly been...no.
I struggle with a lot of things, things in the past, regrets of the even further past coming back to haunt me again. And I am really struggling. I drop in and out of being an OK person and a mild state of depression where I want to avoid a large group of people. Which makes it even harder considering that most of the people that I am trying to avoid are people that I used to be able to see them eye-to-eye, laugh and joke and talk pretty much everything under the sun. Now it takes so much mental effort just to be in a public space with them in it.
I am reminded of my own personal studies on 2 Corinthians recently and the line "My grace is sufficient for you" is something that I holding on fast to because there is nothing else that I can hold on to. Even though Paul was going through physical suffering when he penned those lines, I'm sure the same thing goes for someone going through emotional suffering. Someone who is still looking for answers or waiting on an answer.
I will wait upon the Lord.
***
I can't say that I was not a little angry/annoyed when I heard this on the way back home today. There was a context and somewhere in that context the question came up to "How do you deal with being single and all?". Now perhaps I am reading to much into it but when I heard that, the default expectation was that everyone should be attached or at least recently attached and someone has to think twice about being single especially when said person is approaching the big three-oh. There was a little irony in the context of the story but that shall be another story.
Until now, I have yet to be a part of a community of Christians that holds true equal regard and support to people who are relationships and those who are not. The default position is we need to hook up this person with someone else if someone isn't already attached. That or we just do the following, "Interested in anyone?" "No." "Oh. That's cool". Given the recent sermon at church today, it seems that we are far from holding these two groups of people with equal regard.
Some people are struggling with issues of singleness and our response is like parents consoling kids who got a D in an exam, that it is not the grade that you expect them to get but hey, at least you didn't fail. Or worse, give some kind of divine-laced answer of there are plenty of fish in the sea and you are bound to catch one. Nice idea but still wrong.
It would somewhat cool if I did burst out in outrage but I didn't. I'd still like to give the benefit of the doubt that it was totally not intended. But whether or not it was intended at that point in time or not, I'd say it is still very evident in how people look at singleness today. And I am very very annoyed at that.
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Anchor
Saturday, September 7, 2013
at
12:38 AM
This is the yardstick for all bass players. To hold the groove, tight timing and just small variances around a central bass line. With the exception of a few sections in the song, the bassist plays the same progression, with a few sprinkles thrown in for good measure, but he played it like his life depended on it. And now, it's hard to imagine the song without the bass part. I still can't play that well and it is good to strive for such a goal.
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My Blueberry Nights
Sunday, August 25, 2013
at
1:28 AM
TL;DR
Food can be associated with the good memories, sometimes the bad too. I make a few of those that are both.
---
I think most of us have very strong memories when it comes to food, particularly the events around partaking food. Who we were with, what were we doing and what were we eating get solidified into long term memories that when we think of food, we are immediately transported to that first event. It is often the good times, laughter with friends and amazing food that makes us close to impossible to forget.
Of all the deserts I've ever tried, none can bring me close to the first time I've tried cheesecake, a very specific cheesecake. Blueberry cheesecake. To be exact, Sara Lee's blueberry cheesecake that's freely available in the frozen food section of the supermarket. It's not the best cheesecake I've ever had but when I first had it, it was a mind blowing experience. And I remembered it clearly, mum bought this cake because we wanted to give it a try and I have never tasted cheesecakes nor blueberries back home at that time. After one slice became two and three, suddenly I was almost asking for it every time my parents went grocery shopping. Till this day, no desert can really take that place of the almighty blueberry cheesecake.
It is also a very special cake to me. It was the first one that I have made from scratch in a crappy little oven, in a crappy student accommodation during my first year in uni. I decided to make it after buying a magazine that had this wonderful shot of this delicious looking cake on the front cover. It was also the magazine that started to bring out the foodie in me. So really, I owe it to this cake that I became interested, passionate even, about cooking and baking.
I don't know about the rest of you, but there are some food items that are strongly related to experiences in the past that reminded me about my regrets and to some extent, my despairs and failures. The blueberry cheesecake is one such item. It was only the other day that I've made blueberry cheesecake in more than 5 years because I was craving it. Well actually, it was an idea implanted in me a few days before that when I was passing by the frozen food section and see that there are frozen blueberries. I was happy that it still turn out as I remembered it to be (maybe a bit better), taking photos and sharing it on the usual social circles and was elated when taking my first bite.
And then I remembered.
I remembered the other events that I had with blueberry cheesecake. Events that I later regretted because of who I was at that time. It was a very strange feeling, how is it possible that can I feel both extremely happy and yet regretful at the same time. And at that time, I was alone in the house, the housemate has gone back to Malaysia for a funeral and the other housemate is still not back from holidays. The silence just amplified whatever that I was feeling that night. It dawned upon me that there was a reason why I had not want to make blueberry cheesecake for so long.
I wanted to forget. Forget that it ever happened. Forget that I ever felt that way.
And so for the next few nights, I take one slice of cake, partake in silence and take it in. When the cake has been fully devoured, I think I might not make it again for a long time. I've had enough.
In the same way how I have always joked about if there were such a thing as a spirit animal, it would be the hedgehog because of similiarities in behaviour between this cousin of the shrew and me, my experiences with this confounded cake represents a lot of who I am. As much as I try to make myself presentable to others though there is nothing really special about it, I will end up disappointing myself. This cake is also a closely guarded secret of mine, not because I have stumbled upon the holy grail recipe for this cake, all about the why this cake.
Blueberry cheesecake is not the only food item that brings this double edged sword into my life though it is still invokes the strongest emotion of them all. Other such items are Milo with drinking chocolate, tuna with corn and capsicum and soon to be added, mango cheesecake.
---
I can relate a lot to the film. I just wish that I can have the same ending. But it may be that take whatever baggage I have and keeping moving, just like Sue Lynne.
Food can be associated with the good memories, sometimes the bad too. I make a few of those that are both.
---
I think most of us have very strong memories when it comes to food, particularly the events around partaking food. Who we were with, what were we doing and what were we eating get solidified into long term memories that when we think of food, we are immediately transported to that first event. It is often the good times, laughter with friends and amazing food that makes us close to impossible to forget.
Of all the deserts I've ever tried, none can bring me close to the first time I've tried cheesecake, a very specific cheesecake. Blueberry cheesecake. To be exact, Sara Lee's blueberry cheesecake that's freely available in the frozen food section of the supermarket. It's not the best cheesecake I've ever had but when I first had it, it was a mind blowing experience. And I remembered it clearly, mum bought this cake because we wanted to give it a try and I have never tasted cheesecakes nor blueberries back home at that time. After one slice became two and three, suddenly I was almost asking for it every time my parents went grocery shopping. Till this day, no desert can really take that place of the almighty blueberry cheesecake.
It is also a very special cake to me. It was the first one that I have made from scratch in a crappy little oven, in a crappy student accommodation during my first year in uni. I decided to make it after buying a magazine that had this wonderful shot of this delicious looking cake on the front cover. It was also the magazine that started to bring out the foodie in me. So really, I owe it to this cake that I became interested, passionate even, about cooking and baking.
I don't know about the rest of you, but there are some food items that are strongly related to experiences in the past that reminded me about my regrets and to some extent, my despairs and failures. The blueberry cheesecake is one such item. It was only the other day that I've made blueberry cheesecake in more than 5 years because I was craving it. Well actually, it was an idea implanted in me a few days before that when I was passing by the frozen food section and see that there are frozen blueberries. I was happy that it still turn out as I remembered it to be (maybe a bit better), taking photos and sharing it on the usual social circles and was elated when taking my first bite.
And then I remembered.
I remembered the other events that I had with blueberry cheesecake. Events that I later regretted because of who I was at that time. It was a very strange feeling, how is it possible that can I feel both extremely happy and yet regretful at the same time. And at that time, I was alone in the house, the housemate has gone back to Malaysia for a funeral and the other housemate is still not back from holidays. The silence just amplified whatever that I was feeling that night. It dawned upon me that there was a reason why I had not want to make blueberry cheesecake for so long.
I wanted to forget. Forget that it ever happened. Forget that I ever felt that way.
And so for the next few nights, I take one slice of cake, partake in silence and take it in. When the cake has been fully devoured, I think I might not make it again for a long time. I've had enough.
In the same way how I have always joked about if there were such a thing as a spirit animal, it would be the hedgehog because of similiarities in behaviour between this cousin of the shrew and me, my experiences with this confounded cake represents a lot of who I am. As much as I try to make myself presentable to others though there is nothing really special about it, I will end up disappointing myself. This cake is also a closely guarded secret of mine, not because I have stumbled upon the holy grail recipe for this cake, all about the why this cake.
Blueberry cheesecake is not the only food item that brings this double edged sword into my life though it is still invokes the strongest emotion of them all. Other such items are Milo with drinking chocolate, tuna with corn and capsicum and soon to be added, mango cheesecake.
---
I can relate a lot to the film. I just wish that I can have the same ending. But it may be that take whatever baggage I have and keeping moving, just like Sue Lynne.
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Fiction
Sunday, August 18, 2013
at
9:21 PM
TL;DR
Games can be like books, good environment and a good story.
***
My general philosophy on what are the kinds of games I usually play are very simple. One that either has a very immersive environment where you are just so captivated by the universe is created by the game where you can spend hours on hours just looking around or one that has a very well crafted story and pays very good attention to detail. I reckon that the kinds of games that I choose to play and how I treat it is very similiar to how people choose fictional books to read. Two very seemingly different things but have the same sorts of experiences when consuming them.
Over the past month, I've played two such games, games that have completely taken over my Saturdays, having never ventured out to get some sun, coffee or friends. The first one was Fez, a 2D puzzle platform game in a 3D world. The background music, the picturesque worlds and the incredibly hard puzzles makes you just want to get lost in this kind of environment. A lot of the game play emphasises a lot of exploration of different areas (and of course to solve puzzles to get to those areas) adds the experience. It's just like a good narrative. Even though I have finished the game, it was clear that there is actually more to the game than what is necessary to complete the game. Many more secrets that are hidden throughout the different areas that you have explored.
The other game was Bioshock Infinite. There are many things that I like about the Bioshock universe, many things that I think people (Asians in particular) might find a bit weird for me to get into. But one thing that the Bioshock games have always had was a good plot. A well crafted story one that will grab your attention from beginning to end. The other thing that it has done well was incorporating themes like the fallenness of man's efforts when they have elevated their achievements to God like levels, the sins people commit, the regrets or the moral issues that a man faces. This is no different in Bioshock Infinite. The character Elizabeth deserves special mention. They have put so much character into this person in the game that she seems almost human. It is very hard not to be captivated by her, not just how she looks but in the character that she portrays in the game. I can't remember when was the last book that I have read that has all these things in a book that I just simply cannot put down. Then again, it was a long time since I have read books to that level.
What's next? I'm tempted to go back to Bioshock Infinite just to have a second pass at the story. There are some bits that are missing when I first played it through and also to reinforce what was going (the story was quite involved and need to have a think about all the things that were said. A bit like Butterfly Effect, Donnie Darko and other such films).
Games and films are in a way like substitute for books for me. When they are done well, they can tell a whole different story without words. Mainly because that I prefer to see non-verbal communication.
***
The loneliness continues.
Games can be like books, good environment and a good story.
***
My general philosophy on what are the kinds of games I usually play are very simple. One that either has a very immersive environment where you are just so captivated by the universe is created by the game where you can spend hours on hours just looking around or one that has a very well crafted story and pays very good attention to detail. I reckon that the kinds of games that I choose to play and how I treat it is very similiar to how people choose fictional books to read. Two very seemingly different things but have the same sorts of experiences when consuming them.
Over the past month, I've played two such games, games that have completely taken over my Saturdays, having never ventured out to get some sun, coffee or friends. The first one was Fez, a 2D puzzle platform game in a 3D world. The background music, the picturesque worlds and the incredibly hard puzzles makes you just want to get lost in this kind of environment. A lot of the game play emphasises a lot of exploration of different areas (and of course to solve puzzles to get to those areas) adds the experience. It's just like a good narrative. Even though I have finished the game, it was clear that there is actually more to the game than what is necessary to complete the game. Many more secrets that are hidden throughout the different areas that you have explored.
The other game was Bioshock Infinite. There are many things that I like about the Bioshock universe, many things that I think people (Asians in particular) might find a bit weird for me to get into. But one thing that the Bioshock games have always had was a good plot. A well crafted story one that will grab your attention from beginning to end. The other thing that it has done well was incorporating themes like the fallenness of man's efforts when they have elevated their achievements to God like levels, the sins people commit, the regrets or the moral issues that a man faces. This is no different in Bioshock Infinite. The character Elizabeth deserves special mention. They have put so much character into this person in the game that she seems almost human. It is very hard not to be captivated by her, not just how she looks but in the character that she portrays in the game. I can't remember when was the last book that I have read that has all these things in a book that I just simply cannot put down. Then again, it was a long time since I have read books to that level.
What's next? I'm tempted to go back to Bioshock Infinite just to have a second pass at the story. There are some bits that are missing when I first played it through and also to reinforce what was going (the story was quite involved and need to have a think about all the things that were said. A bit like Butterfly Effect, Donnie Darko and other such films).
Games and films are in a way like substitute for books for me. When they are done well, they can tell a whole different story without words. Mainly because that I prefer to see non-verbal communication.
***
The loneliness continues.
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Sabbath
Sunday, August 4, 2013
at
11:43 PM
TL;DR
Hermit Saturdays. Big company is big.
***
I think I have gotten used to the idea that my rest day is Saturday. Staying at home, lazing around at home in bed, either playing games or doing reading (but mostly playing games). No going out, no brunch, nothing. Which I think is very strange for most people in Melbourne considering it is brunch capital, where there is an expectation that you should feel dirty if you haven't visited a brunch place at least once or twice a week. In fact, I can't remember when was the last time I went for brunch or a cafe this year. I think it was in April but I can't be sure of that. Am I missing much? Probably but doesn't really matter.
I think this is the introverted side taking charge. Monday to Friday you're busy at work, having to interact with people all day and by the time you are home, there are lots of other things to do. Then there is Saturday. The self decides to say "OK, you are not going out and instead you stay at home while everyone else is out there and you are going to find something to do and you will like it". And then Sunday comes around where I usually spend most of the day around church people.
I largely attribute this Saturday alone time to the fact that I am becoming older, much more picky about things and people (and maybe grumpy and cynical). Having less friends to hang out with and other people spending time with their significant others is also happening at an increasing rate. This is probably just me trying to make the most out of the situation.
Basically I need to have a third group of friends, one that is outside the work and church environment. Maybe I should take up stitching.
***
I find it amazing that a little under two years ago, I started working for this small company of 10 (I was #10). And since then, I have watched about 45 people walked through the doors of our office and become whom I call as colleagues. From a team that consisted of a few iOS developers, just one Android developer and three directors to now a full stack app development company and having everything in house.
And now I am pondering what is going to happen in the next two years of my life. It's that time again.
Hermit Saturdays. Big company is big.
***
I think I have gotten used to the idea that my rest day is Saturday. Staying at home, lazing around at home in bed, either playing games or doing reading (but mostly playing games). No going out, no brunch, nothing. Which I think is very strange for most people in Melbourne considering it is brunch capital, where there is an expectation that you should feel dirty if you haven't visited a brunch place at least once or twice a week. In fact, I can't remember when was the last time I went for brunch or a cafe this year. I think it was in April but I can't be sure of that. Am I missing much? Probably but doesn't really matter.
I think this is the introverted side taking charge. Monday to Friday you're busy at work, having to interact with people all day and by the time you are home, there are lots of other things to do. Then there is Saturday. The self decides to say "OK, you are not going out and instead you stay at home while everyone else is out there and you are going to find something to do and you will like it". And then Sunday comes around where I usually spend most of the day around church people.
I largely attribute this Saturday alone time to the fact that I am becoming older, much more picky about things and people (and maybe grumpy and cynical). Having less friends to hang out with and other people spending time with their significant others is also happening at an increasing rate. This is probably just me trying to make the most out of the situation.
Basically I need to have a third group of friends, one that is outside the work and church environment. Maybe I should take up stitching.
***
I find it amazing that a little under two years ago, I started working for this small company of 10 (I was #10). And since then, I have watched about 45 people walked through the doors of our office and become whom I call as colleagues. From a team that consisted of a few iOS developers, just one Android developer and three directors to now a full stack app development company and having everything in house.
And now I am pondering what is going to happen in the next two years of my life. It's that time again.
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Prepackaged
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
at
12:10 AM
TL;DR
Kids think chicken come from the supermarket. Parents blame education. I say, "Hold It!"
***
Mingle around with enough older Singaporeans and you will likely to come across a conversation where it details the very sad state of the education system back home. Horror stories where kids these days don't know what a chicken looks like or can't identify one apart from what they see in the supermarket, wrapped in plastic wrap all neatly dismembered and ready for cooking. I used to be horrified upon hearing this but after much thought, there is a deeper concern that I think is even more horrific.
I've recently met an older lady visiting Melbourne to see her cousin and she was a teacher in Singapore before uprooting and decide to call Vancouver home. She detailed that she has seen it all in the education system, including the said horror above. And so apparently when the opportunity came, she cashed in and "rescued" her children to a better place, home of the Canucks. She gave her reason that she didn't want her children to be growing up in this kind of environment where streaming happens as early as 9 years old and the pressure to perform academically continues to build up even past graduation from university. Also she didn't want the remote chance of her own flesh and blood stooping down to the level that they can't distinguish between the image of a live chicken and the one in the meat section of the supermarket.
While I do agree that Singapore's education system leaves a lot to be desired, like the unnecessary pressure to perform at such a young age, education via spoon feeding information and placing heavy emphasis on passing exams, I can't decide whether the said horror is a result of the state of the education system or just bad delegation of a child's education in common sense. Sure, the lack of ability to think critically or "outside the box" definitely came out from the far from ideal formal education system but I wonder whether the parents have simply shifted the responsibility of educating their children in the lost art of common sense to the formal education establishments.
And it is not surprising if it is the case that they did. Considering that the average work hours of the working Singaporean is around 9 hours (though this number is a very conservative number), commute time can be anywhere between 20 minutes to over an hour (which is amazing considering that the nation is only 20 km by 40 km), it is amazing that any time at all is available for themselves or their own relationships. For families, this means employing a domestic caretaker, additional classes for the children (not necessarily because the the child is weak in a particular area) etc. More and more responsibility that used to be on the part of the parents has now been moved to other people to do they jobs that they were meant to be doing as in their parent's generation so that they can, ironically, do the jobs that they are supposed to be doing.
It is going to be a matter of time before they hear of horror stories like this one, and they will be outraged, reminisce about the days when they were kids that they seem to have acquired an advanced stage of common sense that their kids. Common sense it seems, has become part of the school curriculum. And schools are not doing a good job at instilling common sense to the future of Singapore, it seems.
It is no wonder that more and more Singaporeans are leaving the country such as this lady that I've met. She left on the grounds of a failing education system and got out while she still can. I am more and more convinced that the reason is more of culture than schools.
I guess the point of this is that there are things that we can blame for the faults of others, whether it is in a person or in a nation. But to blame it on things that came as a consequence of a deeper issue is a red herring.
There are things that schools are meant to teach, science, math, history and the likes but there are some things that should be taught by parents and can never be left to schools to teach. They are, in my opinion, non-negotiable. Big words coming from a person who neither has children nor married. Not even having a pet. Whether you choose to brush me off because of my lack of "credentials" or expertise in the area is up to you. Just think about this, would you sit and do nothing about teaching your children street smarts that no school can teach?
PS: I have yet to hear the same horror story in urbanised Malaysian kids and we somewhat have the same sorts of problems as our southern neighbours, if not worse. Case of first world problems maybe?
PPS: That lady was a lot like my aunty. The character resemblance would be almost uncanny if my aunty was characteristically Singaporean. Very nice lady.
Kids think chicken come from the supermarket. Parents blame education. I say, "Hold It!"
***
Mingle around with enough older Singaporeans and you will likely to come across a conversation where it details the very sad state of the education system back home. Horror stories where kids these days don't know what a chicken looks like or can't identify one apart from what they see in the supermarket, wrapped in plastic wrap all neatly dismembered and ready for cooking. I used to be horrified upon hearing this but after much thought, there is a deeper concern that I think is even more horrific.
I've recently met an older lady visiting Melbourne to see her cousin and she was a teacher in Singapore before uprooting and decide to call Vancouver home. She detailed that she has seen it all in the education system, including the said horror above. And so apparently when the opportunity came, she cashed in and "rescued" her children to a better place, home of the Canucks. She gave her reason that she didn't want her children to be growing up in this kind of environment where streaming happens as early as 9 years old and the pressure to perform academically continues to build up even past graduation from university. Also she didn't want the remote chance of her own flesh and blood stooping down to the level that they can't distinguish between the image of a live chicken and the one in the meat section of the supermarket.
While I do agree that Singapore's education system leaves a lot to be desired, like the unnecessary pressure to perform at such a young age, education via spoon feeding information and placing heavy emphasis on passing exams, I can't decide whether the said horror is a result of the state of the education system or just bad delegation of a child's education in common sense. Sure, the lack of ability to think critically or "outside the box" definitely came out from the far from ideal formal education system but I wonder whether the parents have simply shifted the responsibility of educating their children in the lost art of common sense to the formal education establishments.
And it is not surprising if it is the case that they did. Considering that the average work hours of the working Singaporean is around 9 hours (though this number is a very conservative number), commute time can be anywhere between 20 minutes to over an hour (which is amazing considering that the nation is only 20 km by 40 km), it is amazing that any time at all is available for themselves or their own relationships. For families, this means employing a domestic caretaker, additional classes for the children (not necessarily because the the child is weak in a particular area) etc. More and more responsibility that used to be on the part of the parents has now been moved to other people to do they jobs that they were meant to be doing as in their parent's generation so that they can, ironically, do the jobs that they are supposed to be doing.
It is going to be a matter of time before they hear of horror stories like this one, and they will be outraged, reminisce about the days when they were kids that they seem to have acquired an advanced stage of common sense that their kids. Common sense it seems, has become part of the school curriculum. And schools are not doing a good job at instilling common sense to the future of Singapore, it seems.
It is no wonder that more and more Singaporeans are leaving the country such as this lady that I've met. She left on the grounds of a failing education system and got out while she still can. I am more and more convinced that the reason is more of culture than schools.
I guess the point of this is that there are things that we can blame for the faults of others, whether it is in a person or in a nation. But to blame it on things that came as a consequence of a deeper issue is a red herring.
There are things that schools are meant to teach, science, math, history and the likes but there are some things that should be taught by parents and can never be left to schools to teach. They are, in my opinion, non-negotiable. Big words coming from a person who neither has children nor married. Not even having a pet. Whether you choose to brush me off because of my lack of "credentials" or expertise in the area is up to you. Just think about this, would you sit and do nothing about teaching your children street smarts that no school can teach?
PS: I have yet to hear the same horror story in urbanised Malaysian kids and we somewhat have the same sorts of problems as our southern neighbours, if not worse. Case of first world problems maybe?
PPS: That lady was a lot like my aunty. The character resemblance would be almost uncanny if my aunty was characteristically Singaporean. Very nice lady.
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