People have a thing for birthdays. Most would celebrate the birthdays of others and some will go to great lengths to celebrate their own. I've been to some pretty epic birthday bashes and I generally had great fun celebrating. It is, of course, a major day for most people in their lives. Most would love to celebrate their birthdays with family and friends and would certainly look forward to it.
I, on the other hand, have grown up not really having a close idea of celebrating my own. For the first decade or so, birthdays have always been celebrated with family. For good reason too. Back then, school starts in December, which meant that we have our month long school holidays in November. That is usually a time that we would travel to Penang, which is where my parents were born and where most of my relatives lived. So I celebrated my birthday there. I remember the times that my birthday were held at fast food joints like McDonalds or A&W because that was considered as a well accepted place to celebrate your birthday. Especially when you are a kid.
The following two decades or so after that changed. Back then there was a major change such that school starts in January and so the month long holidays are in December. This meant that the end of the year exams were in November. And so the rest of my birthdays were celebrated at home, with my parents and my sister. Followed by stern warnings of going back to study for the exams. And so as time passes by, the thought of celebrating my birthday diminishes into almost nothingness. I've gotten to the point that my birthday is just another ordinary day. I haven't gotten to the point of forgetting my own birthday (although I do know a person who sometimes does that) but I certainly lived as though I did.
So even to my working days, I don't really celebrate my own birthday. I don't even tell people my birthday anymore unless severely prompted. I've managed to hide my birthday even from my community group for the 2.5 years that I have been in. I like the quiet and have grown accustomed to it.
This year however, was a little different. One thing led to another and that led to a lot more people figuring out my birthday (and you might have guessed that it has something to do with hedgehogs). And with the recent sermon at church on friendship, it has forced me to reevaluate my current position of not letting people know about my birthday, even to my friends. I've always take the position of being the passive one in the friendship and granted that I have lost quite a few a long the way because of that. I think it is about time that I know the joy of an active friendship.
That should be this decade's resolution.
***
Having being in the cross-fire of a relationship triangle is no fun at all. I can't decide which is worse, being in a relationship triangle or being the middleman to all three people in the triangle.
Even worse, I'm the armchair theorist. I have zero good advice because I have zero experience.
My Seat's Getting Warm
Thursday, November 6, 2014
at
12:08 AM
I have recently walked into an improvised trap set up at a friend's place on wanting to find out about the little incidents that have been brewing up in the house lately. Acting as the middleman and the purveyor of information to a household that seems a bit of a busybody but it turns out there are motives for wanting to extract information out of me. Once again, I am called upon my services to listen to the various relationship situations and to give my opinion about it.
I am really not comfortable about all of this, particularly because of the secrets that I have to keep as well as the moral dilemma about this rather complex situation. The other people in the room don't seem to think so, but I, on the other hand, am not so sure. It is very hard to remain unbiased about these sorts of things and it is just all round hard.
I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to one of them about the whole thing and if there was a time that clichéd relationship quotes were to come, this was the time. Everything from "nice guys finish last" to "guys are just jerks" and even to the somewhat controversial "it's not easy being a guy". We analysed every bit of the situation and try to read between the lines on what all of that meant, which in our case wasn't too difficult at all. But I have a strange feeling that someone is going to get burned in the end. They almost always do.
At the end of the day, I'm just an armchair theorist. A pretty seasoned one at that too.
The first time I have heard of the term was when a friend introduced me to this Japanese skit that has the appearance of seriousness but it's just comedy. And funnily enough, it was a 4 part skit on relationships, particularly how to get yourself a partner. I highly encourage you to watch it, it is hilarious. The term appears in the third part.
It is one of those things where you sort of understand what it means but not really. Took me a long time to figure out what it really means and it turns out I do this all the time. This is usually the approach I take when it comes to people. It's a terrible thing to do most of the time but I still do it anyway. I just like the idea that I am right in a deluded sort of way.
So really I just like thinking about stuff but not really like to get my hands dirty. That is quite possibly the source of all my problems.
***
Since Christmas season is coming soon, I'd like to get away from all the commercialisation of Christmas and also the same ol' Christmas songs playing in the shopping malls and in church. Which leads me to my current ear worm of the week, Giants Must Fall. Great Singaporean band mashing up songs together with a haunting melody on a timeless Christmas song.
Chills on my spine.
***
Another great listen is the new album from Austin Stone Worship, The Reveille Volume 2. Really great instrumental album and if you are a great fan of Explosions in the Sky and The Album Leaf, this is right up your alley. Something unique too, very few church bands venture into the instrumental part (apart from those cheesy piano based instrumentals). What I think most people forget is that it is just as important to the things that are not said as well as the things that are said. And there is a severe lack of good emotive instrumental albums out there among all the usual church bands which can speak volumes as well.
I am really not comfortable about all of this, particularly because of the secrets that I have to keep as well as the moral dilemma about this rather complex situation. The other people in the room don't seem to think so, but I, on the other hand, am not so sure. It is very hard to remain unbiased about these sorts of things and it is just all round hard.
I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to one of them about the whole thing and if there was a time that clichéd relationship quotes were to come, this was the time. Everything from "nice guys finish last" to "guys are just jerks" and even to the somewhat controversial "it's not easy being a guy". We analysed every bit of the situation and try to read between the lines on what all of that meant, which in our case wasn't too difficult at all. But I have a strange feeling that someone is going to get burned in the end. They almost always do.
At the end of the day, I'm just an armchair theorist. A pretty seasoned one at that too.
The first time I have heard of the term was when a friend introduced me to this Japanese skit that has the appearance of seriousness but it's just comedy. And funnily enough, it was a 4 part skit on relationships, particularly how to get yourself a partner. I highly encourage you to watch it, it is hilarious. The term appears in the third part.
It is one of those things where you sort of understand what it means but not really. Took me a long time to figure out what it really means and it turns out I do this all the time. This is usually the approach I take when it comes to people. It's a terrible thing to do most of the time but I still do it anyway. I just like the idea that I am right in a deluded sort of way.
So really I just like thinking about stuff but not really like to get my hands dirty. That is quite possibly the source of all my problems.
***
Since Christmas season is coming soon, I'd like to get away from all the commercialisation of Christmas and also the same ol' Christmas songs playing in the shopping malls and in church. Which leads me to my current ear worm of the week, Giants Must Fall. Great Singaporean band mashing up songs together with a haunting melody on a timeless Christmas song.
Chills on my spine.
***
Another great listen is the new album from Austin Stone Worship, The Reveille Volume 2. Really great instrumental album and if you are a great fan of Explosions in the Sky and The Album Leaf, this is right up your alley. Something unique too, very few church bands venture into the instrumental part (apart from those cheesy piano based instrumentals). What I think most people forget is that it is just as important to the things that are not said as well as the things that are said. And there is a severe lack of good emotive instrumental albums out there among all the usual church bands which can speak volumes as well.
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