...or rather the problem with content-flawed prayers.
The drama never stops around here. Now going to have to cancel my flight and re-book my flight out to Canada (possibly even skipping it entirely) thanks to the fact that my passport requires it to be flown to Sydney twice just to get two labels on my passport. Hopes of seeing my sister dashed just like that.
I've told people that nothing short of divine intervention will get my passport back on time for me to fly off this Saturday. And the responses I get are pretty much the same, you better pray hard that that might happen. All except one guy, who I can always trust to say the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing to hear.
You see, I think that a lot of us tend to default to a certain kind of prayer when things aren't going according to plan. We pray for some divine intervention will occur as if we are the one running the show. Kinda like a director begging the actor who can't seem to get the lines right. Even as seasoned Christians with loads of Bible knowledge, we still pray like this knowing that this is not how prayer works. Often we interchange prayer with begging and those are two completely different things.
The more I think about my situation and how people respond to such annoyances that I have, the more I think about how utter flawed our prayers can be. Back to this friend who layeth down what it actually is, he expressed his disappointment that empatises with me but also said that maybe this is now what God wants you to be (in Canada) at this point in time. Just about everyone will have a knee jerk reaction when you hear something like this, and have a reply like "What? Is trying to visit my sister not what or where God wants me to be??". The younger me would have definitely said that and most certainly scoff at the idea (and at my friend) that God doesn't want me to be with my sister. But after hearing that as we head to work, I didn't flinch and nodded in agreement. It's not a sign of resignation or cowardice, it's a sign of acknowledgement and understanding how things are with God.
There is a real temptation to think that if I can pray hard enough, or rather beg hard enough that something might happen. We all like to be the optimistic person when the going gets tough, which is not in itself a bad thing. And who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe. The problem is then what happens when the divine intervention that you want doesn't come. Most will get bummed out, wail or even be grumpy. Or worse, let out a sigh of resignation and have that bottled up for years. I am reminded of Jesus when he was arrested at the garden where he knew that he was going to go to the cross and he even prayed for "divine intervention" that he would not need to go through this. But ultimately say not my will but Yours (God) be done. Later on when some soldier's ear got cut off, Jesus mentions that he could have called legions of angels at his disposal. Though that would have made for a more awesome story, but that was not the will of God. Fast forward to the time when he was crucified, others scorned him to show some divine intervention to bring him down from the cross. But that didn't happen either because of the will of God.
I think my prayers have not changed during the whole drama but stayed more or less the same. And I think that is a good thing. You are not thrown around by the chaos of it all but just calmly ask and trust that God knows what he is doing. If you do get what you want, well praise God but if not God is doing something, just not what you were thinking of. Let God be God.
Poutine and Hot Dogs
Sunday, May 18, 2014
at
7:33 PM
You know I am dead excited about my great North American trip, which is just coming up to a week to go before I leave. There is still a lot of drama left to settle just before I leave but it is at least better than the state I was in about 2 days ago.
I am sure that I will thoroughly enjoy myself over the next 4 weeks (hopefully), having a lot of things lined up thanks to the heads up from many friends who have gone before me. In fact, there are some things that I will be doing that some people would only dream of let alone to experience it.
I have been meaning to travel alone and to go to New York for the longest time and just thinking about it makes me feel so excited. The food, the places to see, the bars and all that stuff. Basically this sums up all the things that I have been dying to do. This is what I have always wanted ever since I have been watching American TV shows.
And yet, in spite of all these wonderful experiences that I will be having, in spite of getting what I have always wanted, I am still left with the feeling that something is missing. And I think I know what is that something. Normally this wouldn't really be an issue but considering that I am in the middle of the 2 year cycle, it has now become one. I think this would be the hardest one to get over. I will get there eventually, one way or another, as my past have shown me.
It is still going to be one epic trip.
***
I am sure that I will thoroughly enjoy myself over the next 4 weeks (hopefully), having a lot of things lined up thanks to the heads up from many friends who have gone before me. In fact, there are some things that I will be doing that some people would only dream of let alone to experience it.
I have been meaning to travel alone and to go to New York for the longest time and just thinking about it makes me feel so excited. The food, the places to see, the bars and all that stuff. Basically this sums up all the things that I have been dying to do. This is what I have always wanted ever since I have been watching American TV shows.
And yet, in spite of all these wonderful experiences that I will be having, in spite of getting what I have always wanted, I am still left with the feeling that something is missing. And I think I know what is that something. Normally this wouldn't really be an issue but considering that I am in the middle of the 2 year cycle, it has now become one. I think this would be the hardest one to get over. I will get there eventually, one way or another, as my past have shown me.
It is still going to be one epic trip.
***
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Fathers Be Good To Your Daughters
Saturday, May 3, 2014
at
5:35 PM
Double post!!
One of the friends on Facebook posted a very long status update about the anniversary of the death of her dad. It was a very well written and well said post about how her dad has been a great inspiration and solid rock in my friend's life right up to the point when he passed away. My friend also has mentioned that she wanted to carry out something that her dad has wished that he could do while he was still alive, in memory of him. That is the unshakable bond that they have between the both of them and it is a very powerful imagery of parent-child relationship. It was very moving indeed.
This is the kind of relationship that I want to have and experience with my (imaginary) children. If I had daughters, I would totally trade everything to be able to have this with them (if I had sons, this would also be true but manifested in a different way). I see this in the lives of my other friends who have had daughters and the relationship that they have, and it is something that I would like to have. My friend's dad appears to be a total geek, caring and creative and that had had its influence to my friend growing up. Basically he is her world.
It's very sad that we need more people to be like my friend's dad, to be a foundation to a child, to teach them about the things that really matter in this world and not to be fooled by the stresses of the world. The real bummer is to see their lives cut short due to the ever present tragedies in this world. And you know part of me wants to be that person, to step up to the role (this may or may not be related to the fact that I want everyone to be taught math properly).
But as the years go by, it is becoming clear that this might never be my calling, to learn the joys and pains of parenthood. Which to me is a total bummer, though I doubt that I would make a good father. But I guess the rest of the quarter life crisis #3 is left to figure out how can I be this kind of a person to someone else that is not of my own blood. Perhaps that is what I'm meant to do. Ask me again in 4 years time.
Once again, there is a John Mayer song for this thought line. He always has a song for every feeling.
One of the friends on Facebook posted a very long status update about the anniversary of the death of her dad. It was a very well written and well said post about how her dad has been a great inspiration and solid rock in my friend's life right up to the point when he passed away. My friend also has mentioned that she wanted to carry out something that her dad has wished that he could do while he was still alive, in memory of him. That is the unshakable bond that they have between the both of them and it is a very powerful imagery of parent-child relationship. It was very moving indeed.
This is the kind of relationship that I want to have and experience with my (imaginary) children. If I had daughters, I would totally trade everything to be able to have this with them (if I had sons, this would also be true but manifested in a different way). I see this in the lives of my other friends who have had daughters and the relationship that they have, and it is something that I would like to have. My friend's dad appears to be a total geek, caring and creative and that had had its influence to my friend growing up. Basically he is her world.
It's very sad that we need more people to be like my friend's dad, to be a foundation to a child, to teach them about the things that really matter in this world and not to be fooled by the stresses of the world. The real bummer is to see their lives cut short due to the ever present tragedies in this world. And you know part of me wants to be that person, to step up to the role (this may or may not be related to the fact that I want everyone to be taught math properly).
But as the years go by, it is becoming clear that this might never be my calling, to learn the joys and pains of parenthood. Which to me is a total bummer, though I doubt that I would make a good father. But I guess the rest of the quarter life crisis #3 is left to figure out how can I be this kind of a person to someone else that is not of my own blood. Perhaps that is what I'm meant to do. Ask me again in 4 years time.
Once again, there is a John Mayer song for this thought line. He always has a song for every feeling.
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Comics and All His Friends
at
5:04 PM
TL;DR
I should have been a comic book geek and have no friends.
***
I remember the first time that I came into contact with comics, not the usual comic strips that are on the newspapers or the occasional Sunday comic strips that are in full colour. I'm talking about those that you need to have a strong devotion to go out to the bookshop to buy the latest issue to get your fix, so to say. Those kind of comics have a serious content to it and that there is no way that all of that can fit in a comic strip or even the Sunday comics section.
My uncle was an avid comic collector of various sorts. One his most extensive comic collections was a series called Commando. This is a series of World War 2 (fictional) stories in different situations, everything from the one man commando hit team to the collective might of the army against the Nazis. That was my first contact with the world of comics. Though everything was in black and white but I was immediately intrigued by the stories that came with each and every issue. The only problem was that my uncle lived in Penang and the only time that I went to Penang was during the Chinese New Year holidays. That was one of the things that I looked forward to when I head up to Penang, to see what are the other comics that he has collected.
Comics also showed me a character that I first loved with a great passion. Back home, I try really hard to stay in a bookstore to read the Archie comic series. Those comics cost a bomb to own for a 7 year old's pocket money. Most bookstore owners don't really mind but you always feel bad about it. When I started to pick up the Archie comics, there was one person that I really stood out and love. One whose set of characteristics formed most of my attractions till today.
Her name was Betty Cooper.
The intelligent, humble, active, very able, understated, gorgeous and very blond girl-next-door Betty captivated me for a long time. Often I always wondered why on Earth Archie still tries to be a player between Betty and Veronica (with a slight inclination towards Veronica), when clearly Betty was the better choice (in my opinion). I also wondered why does Betty bother to entertain Archie's player mode between the both of them. That just angers me on occasion when reading the comics. And even today for Free Comic Book Day when I picked up an Archie comic as one of the free comics going out, I still have the same nostalgia reading them and of course why Betty is still my favourite.
Great stories and great characters in comics have always made me want to read and collect comics since the first time I was exposed to it, though my parents were quick to dismiss them as a wasteful hobby. And so I never got to do it. To think that there are so many comic fans out there and the things that they do or know about makes me think that I could have been one of those comic geeks and have zero social interaction (that is still largely true today). It also made me think what else would I have come out of the closet, so to speak, had I had the opportunity to be properly exposed to it.
Man, was the list long. Musicals, film, fictional books, TV series and the list goes on. It turns out that, with no surprise whatsoever, I live a pretty boring life. No real thing for me to say this is something that I want to do in my free time. My free time constitutes doing nothing and exploring the narrow world that is my reading list in my Feeds that has largely remained unchanged for years now. I've seen some of my friends and colleagues spend lots of time doing the things that they would love to do on the side but sadly I have no such thing to call my own. Not only have I lost feelings in my extremities (it's getting cold here) but I have also lost a lot of feeling for anything.
I have often told people that I am going through quarter life crisis #3, wondering what am I going to do now that I'm here. Lots of questions about what am I going to be and what am I going to do. And strangely enough, reading a comic, started all those questions flooding into my head. Unlike Archie, who despite his player attitude sometimes is still pretty interesting on his own, there is really nothing that I have to offer to people. If anything, I offer stories to anyone with the grace and the ears to hear. I really hope that the long one month holiday/Apple Developer Conference awesomeness might give some answers to the crisis.
Who would I be in the Archie comic universe? Jughead. I just need a hat and a dog. All in due time.
I should have been a comic book geek and have no friends.
***
I remember the first time that I came into contact with comics, not the usual comic strips that are on the newspapers or the occasional Sunday comic strips that are in full colour. I'm talking about those that you need to have a strong devotion to go out to the bookshop to buy the latest issue to get your fix, so to say. Those kind of comics have a serious content to it and that there is no way that all of that can fit in a comic strip or even the Sunday comics section.
My uncle was an avid comic collector of various sorts. One his most extensive comic collections was a series called Commando. This is a series of World War 2 (fictional) stories in different situations, everything from the one man commando hit team to the collective might of the army against the Nazis. That was my first contact with the world of comics. Though everything was in black and white but I was immediately intrigued by the stories that came with each and every issue. The only problem was that my uncle lived in Penang and the only time that I went to Penang was during the Chinese New Year holidays. That was one of the things that I looked forward to when I head up to Penang, to see what are the other comics that he has collected.
Comics also showed me a character that I first loved with a great passion. Back home, I try really hard to stay in a bookstore to read the Archie comic series. Those comics cost a bomb to own for a 7 year old's pocket money. Most bookstore owners don't really mind but you always feel bad about it. When I started to pick up the Archie comics, there was one person that I really stood out and love. One whose set of characteristics formed most of my attractions till today.
Her name was Betty Cooper.
The intelligent, humble, active, very able, understated, gorgeous and very blond girl-next-door Betty captivated me for a long time. Often I always wondered why on Earth Archie still tries to be a player between Betty and Veronica (with a slight inclination towards Veronica), when clearly Betty was the better choice (in my opinion). I also wondered why does Betty bother to entertain Archie's player mode between the both of them. That just angers me on occasion when reading the comics. And even today for Free Comic Book Day when I picked up an Archie comic as one of the free comics going out, I still have the same nostalgia reading them and of course why Betty is still my favourite.
Great stories and great characters in comics have always made me want to read and collect comics since the first time I was exposed to it, though my parents were quick to dismiss them as a wasteful hobby. And so I never got to do it. To think that there are so many comic fans out there and the things that they do or know about makes me think that I could have been one of those comic geeks and have zero social interaction (that is still largely true today). It also made me think what else would I have come out of the closet, so to speak, had I had the opportunity to be properly exposed to it.
Man, was the list long. Musicals, film, fictional books, TV series and the list goes on. It turns out that, with no surprise whatsoever, I live a pretty boring life. No real thing for me to say this is something that I want to do in my free time. My free time constitutes doing nothing and exploring the narrow world that is my reading list in my Feeds that has largely remained unchanged for years now. I've seen some of my friends and colleagues spend lots of time doing the things that they would love to do on the side but sadly I have no such thing to call my own. Not only have I lost feelings in my extremities (it's getting cold here) but I have also lost a lot of feeling for anything.
I have often told people that I am going through quarter life crisis #3, wondering what am I going to do now that I'm here. Lots of questions about what am I going to be and what am I going to do. And strangely enough, reading a comic, started all those questions flooding into my head. Unlike Archie, who despite his player attitude sometimes is still pretty interesting on his own, there is really nothing that I have to offer to people. If anything, I offer stories to anyone with the grace and the ears to hear. I really hope that the long one month holiday/Apple Developer Conference awesomeness might give some answers to the crisis.
Who would I be in the Archie comic universe? Jughead. I just need a hat and a dog. All in due time.
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