Everything looks clearer on hindsight, that includes my life for this year.
***
As the year draws to a close, as cliche as it is, there's bound to be some sort of reflection of the year that is about to pass. I shall carry on that cliche in 4 parts.
Self
This is the year that I have finally read the whole Bible from cover to cover. I have to ask myself why haven't I done this earlier because it has been really good. Got to find out a lot of things that I have never really known, including some particularly funny and strange passages in the Old Testament. And in many ways, I have grown a lot even from just briefly reading through the passages in my commute. I've even been challenged right there and then when reading the passage and it has been an uncomfortable feeling but that is a good thing. To know that you have to change in light of reading the Bible for its truths.
I've also taken the time to say less and to think more as it is evident in the amount of posts I've written this year. Ever since I've started blogging, I've said a lot of things which, now looking at it in hindsight, is just a lot of noise. To the usual readers would note that a lot of the things that I write these days are things that just stirring in the heart about something ,either emotionally or rationally, or something that requires saying something about. I think that this is something that is going to continue on for the next few years. I am slowly sinking in the feeling in what I write, that sometimes less is more.
I've also tried to change things up a bit by learning a new keyboard layout. Probably one of the most difficult thing I have ever tried. It screws around with everything, your productivity drops by like 80% and you get utterly frustrated. It also makes you doubt whether it is a good thing or not despite some of the major pros over the current keyboard layout. You just got to persevere. That quality in itself is probably worth it since it is transferable to other areas of life.
I would like to think that I have grown lots personally, or at least in a biased view of myself. It's a bit like a self help book, you feel really good after reading it and apply some of the things to your own self but whether or not you actually as a person in relation to others is another question (see Relationships)
Work
This year at work has been an amazing time, lots of crazy good projects and our team is totally kicking butt. We've created some very novel ideas about apps and services that is shaping how we use the smartphone and having the opportunity to use some of these crazy new things.
I've also written my first tool that helps a lot of what we do a lot simpler. It is nothing fancy but it does help lots. And now I'm thinking on how to grow what I have created to make things even more helpful. To think that 4 years ago, I wouldn't have thought of myself as a person who makes tools. I would have written equations and equations that only a handful of people would only know.
I also feel that this is a particularly strange year for the company. We've hyper inflated in the past two years that I think that it is only this year that we are experiencing the growing pains of the company. Lots of new people are coming in and very quickly they are subjected to some major stresses that brand spanking new people shouldn't be having. Though we are improving our processes and trying to prevent these sorts of things from happening, I don't know whether the damage has been dealt to some of us. I feel that to those who will stay on in the next year or so will see a big improvement.
Also there is a lot of old code that is in real need of a revamp (or even culled out completely). I think that there are better ways to do the things that some of these old code lying around are currently doing. 2 years of unchanged, or rather unaudited code, is a bad smell in my opinion. We just need the time to be able to do all of this, which we currently do not have.
Overall, it has been an exciting time to work at where I am now. And the people there are just about as crazy as me, if not more crazy. I like crazy.
Relationships
This year has been a strange one for that. In some respects, it is a repeat of 2010. In 2010, there was a small core group that I have rather frequent hangouts with and it was a great joy having that around. But by the end of the year, people started leaving the country and having other commitments, the group suddenly does not feel like the group anymore. This year has been pretty much like that although we didn't hangout as frequently as the group before that. The other difference is that I knew that the end result is going to be exactly just like in 2010. It was pretty much a ticking alarm clock. And so I've decided to make the most of it. The outcome of that has been great, got to know some people very well and some surprising things about people that I didn't expect.
Also lots of old wounds are healing well. Scars are still there to remind me of my foolishness for years to come.
It is also a year where my sphere of church friends have been moving from one church to another. And it is a weird thing to have that. Because there is a rather high turnover at the other church, this is the point where the old guard begins to fade away. While in my current church, I am only beginning to get to know people. The net effect is that I am like an acquaintance to both. I would put this as the hardest thing to handle this year, followed by learning a new keyboard layout as a close second (see Work).
I think that I haven't been a good friend, at least in the past couple of years, due to a lot of internal struggle and subconsciously shunning people because of it. Even now I am trying to find out how can I deal with the many people around me who are getting attached or getting married. It almost seems as though that there is no space for the single soon-to-be 30 year old in their lives, you know, because birds of a feather flock together. Though I think that I have improved as a person (see Self), I'd still get a D for being a friend.
But I thank God for the Bible study group that I am currently in. I've gotten to know a lot of them in the past year and a place that I can be myself again. If anything, this is an incubator for me to be a better friend. I can only hope that I can raise my friend score card to at least a B from this.
Future
- Starting to serve in a new music team and I am super excited about these bunch of crazy good musos. It is only in serving along side a group of great musicians can one improve in a band.
- Starting to help out in another church with their music team to help train them to be better band members.
- Major opportunities in the horizon for work, terribly excited about it and terribly scared as well
- Be a better friend
- 4 more years until I shut the door
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