After today's conversation, I think it validated my decision to distance myself from some groups of people. It's just not healthy for me to be around them but above all, it will probably end up being a stumbling block for me. Better to be forgotten and live life than to be remembered as the person who self-destructed.
It was also a conversation that was difficult to have for a number of reasons, not just because it reflects the fallenness of humanity. It's still difficult to talk but there are signs of a little progress.
On a separate note, after years of not making coffee since learning the basics of making your regular lattes, turns out that I still got it. Just need to go a little easy on the milk frothing.
All of this when I was working on the weekend...
When no one was around...
And I was in the zone...
Best working Saturday ever.
Conflict of Interest
Friday, June 21, 2013
at
12:25 AM
I think it is safe to say that I wouldn't trade the past 3 hours for anything in the world. I would go as far as saying that the 4 of us came out of the conversation challenged yet having difference of opinion.
I think what struck me the most about the conversation, though something that is quite hard to chew, that the simplified hypothetical question of one person with all heart but no music vision and a person with no heart but immense music vision and you had to choose one to lead a music ministry, the answer does not always boil down to choosing one or the other, or even choosing the person with all heart because it is the only right answer. In fact almost all the time that is never the case anyway in reality. Very hard thing to wrap your head around it because it seems like it lies in contention with what we've mostly learned about leadership especially in the Christian environment. Even trying to describe this very briefly here is very difficult because there is so much more that needs to be considered before finally getting the definition of the situation, let alone at coming up with a solution. And I think it is something that we need to look out for when we have the difficult discussions on choosing leaders or any context where it demands some sort of having responsibility over people. Because when presented with 2 seemingly opposing qualities and you have to make a choice, the number of choices is not 2. In the case of the all-heart-no-music and no-heart-all-music scenario, there is option 3 and option 4. Either you get both of them in or neither and keep looking.
Why is it that we like to present simplified situations demanding rather binary answers, myself not sparing? It's probably because we like textbook answers, that if we give the right answers according to the textbook, that we are automatically doing the right thing. But in reality, it is almost never the case though some are easier to spot that others. While I recognise that this analogy is taking it to the extreme end but it sounds like the Pharisees demanding black and white decisions. Do this thing specifically and you are keeping the law or do not do this thing and you are keeping the law. Jesus often turn a lot of these things on it's head and he still does the right thing. Point being is that before we snap up the seemingly right answers after being presented the choices, we have to think carefully on whether does it reflect reality or whether there are other options that are equally valid. Sometimes the best decision, or in this case, the decision that glorifies God most may not be simply choosing the one of the two people who has one quality but not the other. For who knows what God can turn around for his kingdom?
Another thing that I thought was worth ruminating over that was brought up was that for an effective music ministry, one that serves the congregation and God through music, there are three levers that need to be pulled in equal measure. Those levers are discipline, ministry and artistic merit. You can't be lacking in any one of these qualities because the lack of one will affect the overall growth of the music ministry. It has been pointed out therefore, a good leader must strive for excellence in all three areas equally. And it is very hard. It is very hard to choose the right people for the job. And while we recognise that none of us are perfect but there must be that attitude to improve all three areas at the same time. Again, trying to expound these aspects more is very difficult, about as difficult as the previous point. Of course the three levers I speak of here can be applied in any ministry area with some minor changes but regardless of the fact, a good leader must pursue all areas in equal measure.
After all this talk, it has actually humbled me a lot more as a musician serving in a music ministry. To know what my role is, which is to support the worship leader and to follow under that person's leadership. I think the key area that will affect me would be how I respond when a suggestion of mine will not be used even though I think it is really cool. I used to be deeply affected by it because I see it as a threat to music growth. But now I submit myself to the music vision of the worship leader. Having said that, the worship leader has more responsibility than just to dictate the style of the music. The worship leader will need to grow in the three areas I spoke of before. The difference is to develop these areas outside of the practice sessions not during. Even more so at church where we barely even have 45 minutes to practice 4-5 songs. And that's on a very good day.
I suspect that some of you might not agree with I've said. That's ok because I found it hard to swallow when I first heard it. But after long discussions about it, I start to understand what is being said while still reserving my opinion on some nitty gritty details of the subject. I don't expect you to follow suit but I do hope that you think about it a little more.
I think what struck me the most about the conversation, though something that is quite hard to chew, that the simplified hypothetical question of one person with all heart but no music vision and a person with no heart but immense music vision and you had to choose one to lead a music ministry, the answer does not always boil down to choosing one or the other, or even choosing the person with all heart because it is the only right answer. In fact almost all the time that is never the case anyway in reality. Very hard thing to wrap your head around it because it seems like it lies in contention with what we've mostly learned about leadership especially in the Christian environment. Even trying to describe this very briefly here is very difficult because there is so much more that needs to be considered before finally getting the definition of the situation, let alone at coming up with a solution. And I think it is something that we need to look out for when we have the difficult discussions on choosing leaders or any context where it demands some sort of having responsibility over people. Because when presented with 2 seemingly opposing qualities and you have to make a choice, the number of choices is not 2. In the case of the all-heart-no-music and no-heart-all-music scenario, there is option 3 and option 4. Either you get both of them in or neither and keep looking.
Why is it that we like to present simplified situations demanding rather binary answers, myself not sparing? It's probably because we like textbook answers, that if we give the right answers according to the textbook, that we are automatically doing the right thing. But in reality, it is almost never the case though some are easier to spot that others. While I recognise that this analogy is taking it to the extreme end but it sounds like the Pharisees demanding black and white decisions. Do this thing specifically and you are keeping the law or do not do this thing and you are keeping the law. Jesus often turn a lot of these things on it's head and he still does the right thing. Point being is that before we snap up the seemingly right answers after being presented the choices, we have to think carefully on whether does it reflect reality or whether there are other options that are equally valid. Sometimes the best decision, or in this case, the decision that glorifies God most may not be simply choosing the one of the two people who has one quality but not the other. For who knows what God can turn around for his kingdom?
Another thing that I thought was worth ruminating over that was brought up was that for an effective music ministry, one that serves the congregation and God through music, there are three levers that need to be pulled in equal measure. Those levers are discipline, ministry and artistic merit. You can't be lacking in any one of these qualities because the lack of one will affect the overall growth of the music ministry. It has been pointed out therefore, a good leader must strive for excellence in all three areas equally. And it is very hard. It is very hard to choose the right people for the job. And while we recognise that none of us are perfect but there must be that attitude to improve all three areas at the same time. Again, trying to expound these aspects more is very difficult, about as difficult as the previous point. Of course the three levers I speak of here can be applied in any ministry area with some minor changes but regardless of the fact, a good leader must pursue all areas in equal measure.
After all this talk, it has actually humbled me a lot more as a musician serving in a music ministry. To know what my role is, which is to support the worship leader and to follow under that person's leadership. I think the key area that will affect me would be how I respond when a suggestion of mine will not be used even though I think it is really cool. I used to be deeply affected by it because I see it as a threat to music growth. But now I submit myself to the music vision of the worship leader. Having said that, the worship leader has more responsibility than just to dictate the style of the music. The worship leader will need to grow in the three areas I spoke of before. The difference is to develop these areas outside of the practice sessions not during. Even more so at church where we barely even have 45 minutes to practice 4-5 songs. And that's on a very good day.
I suspect that some of you might not agree with I've said. That's ok because I found it hard to swallow when I first heard it. But after long discussions about it, I start to understand what is being said while still reserving my opinion on some nitty gritty details of the subject. I don't expect you to follow suit but I do hope that you think about it a little more.
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Leftovers
Sunday, June 16, 2013
at
11:58 PM
It's quite possibly the first time that someone has made the bold move of asking me the question "Do I have a problem with couples?". Well except that one other time but that was more of a one-to-one level rather than a general question.
To which I gave my answer while still not revealing my full hand and started a long chain of conversations, navigating through the minefields that would normally get your face punched if stepped on. Many hard issues to grapple with and most, if not all, of them not having a straightforward right answer. Safe to say that we went away from that dinner table challenged and full of subsequent thoughts on the matters presented.
Funny what leftover steamboat food can do to a bunch of people. That or the pre-packaged bak kut teh soup base used for the steamboat.
To which I gave my answer while still not revealing my full hand and started a long chain of conversations, navigating through the minefields that would normally get your face punched if stepped on. Many hard issues to grapple with and most, if not all, of them not having a straightforward right answer. Safe to say that we went away from that dinner table challenged and full of subsequent thoughts on the matters presented.
Funny what leftover steamboat food can do to a bunch of people. That or the pre-packaged bak kut teh soup base used for the steamboat.
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The Art of Manliness
Saturday, June 8, 2013
at
4:12 PM
For the past couple of weeks, we've had a miniseries on men, women and marriage at church. It was very good though possibly may be a little controversial for some people. But for me it was all good reminders of things that I have already known before.
However, when finishing up the miniseries on the topic of men, I have had one of the strongest rebukes I have heard from the front of the church. It was a rebuke that was harsh, stern and dare I say one that shook me up a lot. It was right there and then that I realised that I am still not a man but boy, one who lacks maturity and ownership of responsibilities. I remember walking home after church praying because it had so shaken me up that there was nothing else left to do but to pray. I can't remember when was the last time I did that but it certainly was about time.
And if that wasn't enough, the rest of the week demonstrated that I am far from being that person of maturity and responsibility. The need to not want to be tied down with responsibilities such as at work, pushing them away by using some lame excuse, not owning up etc. just seems to rear its ugly head out every time. Now that I am examining my past decisions and what the outcomes were, it was no wonder that I have been constantly disappointed by how it turned out to be because of my attitude. The past became so much clearer and a lot less rose-tinted.
The art of manliness as it turns out, is just more than just what you wear or how you wear it or how you interact with other people. I think all of these things are secondary to how you respond to a call. Whether it is a call to do the work, a call of confession, a call to ministry and possibly the call to arms, the right response to these calls is what defines a man.
Needless to say, that I am in a pretty tough situation personally but I can only hope that I will learn something out of this, and learn it before spiral down even further. Acknowledgement of the problem is the first step. Hopefully I don't stay there.
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I have been so tired over the past few weeks because of all the work that I have to do that Saturday has really been my Sabbath. As it was back in the old days. Does watching videos of corgis count as work on the Sabbath? Great mystery indeed.
However, when finishing up the miniseries on the topic of men, I have had one of the strongest rebukes I have heard from the front of the church. It was a rebuke that was harsh, stern and dare I say one that shook me up a lot. It was right there and then that I realised that I am still not a man but boy, one who lacks maturity and ownership of responsibilities. I remember walking home after church praying because it had so shaken me up that there was nothing else left to do but to pray. I can't remember when was the last time I did that but it certainly was about time.
And if that wasn't enough, the rest of the week demonstrated that I am far from being that person of maturity and responsibility. The need to not want to be tied down with responsibilities such as at work, pushing them away by using some lame excuse, not owning up etc. just seems to rear its ugly head out every time. Now that I am examining my past decisions and what the outcomes were, it was no wonder that I have been constantly disappointed by how it turned out to be because of my attitude. The past became so much clearer and a lot less rose-tinted.
The art of manliness as it turns out, is just more than just what you wear or how you wear it or how you interact with other people. I think all of these things are secondary to how you respond to a call. Whether it is a call to do the work, a call of confession, a call to ministry and possibly the call to arms, the right response to these calls is what defines a man.
Needless to say, that I am in a pretty tough situation personally but I can only hope that I will learn something out of this, and learn it before spiral down even further. Acknowledgement of the problem is the first step. Hopefully I don't stay there.
--------------------------------------
I have been so tired over the past few weeks because of all the work that I have to do that Saturday has really been my Sabbath. As it was back in the old days. Does watching videos of corgis count as work on the Sabbath? Great mystery indeed.
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