It has been a crazy week and it's bound to get crazier. Sleeping 3 hours a day over a week with one of the days sleeping at 10 in the morning. So over the weekend I've been trying to load up on sleep because I'm pretty sure I'll be doing this again not very far from now. Plz halp!
Anyway, no long-ish post on some obscure topic today but I do want to say a couple of things.
One, I've gotten some real face-to-face feedback from one of my friends on one of my blog posts. It is one of those things that keep you going even when in this digital age where anonymity is rampant. No doubt people hiding behind the LED backlights of computers while silently but also sometimes effectively critique every other person's online and sometimes real life actions, myself including and not sparing. But I digress. I feel happy that at least some of my writings/over-thinkings have struck accord with a couple of people and funnily enough it's the people who I hardly talk to most of the time that express some similiarity with what I am thinking. There's something about the identification with another that levels everything. It lifts a person up but also it can humble a man and in a manner that's generally appropriate. Of course there are some tragic exceptions but we will not venture into that. Anyway, that feedback meant that I should keep writing even when it seems that everyone else decides to silently stalk behind their computers, raise an eyebrow going "Hmm." and then browse back to Youbook or Facetube. And that I should drink a lot more before writing. Yeah! Bring in the alcohol!!
Two, read an entry from a friend describing a past relationship which answered a lot of questions I didn't dare/bother to ask in person. In a number of ways, it was kind off the same thing I went through except he dealt with it with a greater level of maturity and clear-headedness than I did. Relationships are very hard, no question about it. Which is probably why I'm slightly phobic in getting into another one given that I still do not act accordingly when the time comes let alone in a relationship which I think is vital, among other things. And of course I'm totally allergic to risk which ultimately plays a big part in a relationship (at least in the early stages). What if it doesn't work out? I'll end up hurting two people instead of just one had I not go into a relationship. It's a pessimistic cost-benefit analysis that has pretty much dictated how I thought, felt and acted in all these years since puberty. And don't get me started on the possibility of being rejected. There are many many people I've gotten to know who has obviously dealt with the relationship issue a lot better than me, my friend included. For now I will cheer these people on from the bleachers because they've clearly done the right thing and should be encouraged to keep doing it, they've just hit a minor speed bump, that's all. Me? I crashed at the first ant hill.
PS: To address the infinitesimally remote possibility that someone is going to comment on the second item, a note of caution. I will not entertain petty in-passing statements like "I'm sure you'll get there too", "Be patient" and the likes. Saying such things mean that you do not understand anything I've said at all or me or the status of a single person in that order of severity. There will be a dip in credibility in someone's books. I won't say who. Choose your words carefully.
Ah damn, it became lengthy again.
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