Just a mere short list of things that I think are worth mentioning and keeping:
- Shot a few pre-wedding shoots + one on the actual day
- Did a minor thing for the first Singapore Film Festival
- Roadtrips
- Massive cook offs and heavy food experimentation
- Witnessed the process and launching of an EP album, a macaron business, a few epic orchestral performances and of course the Singapore Film Festival, all done by friends of mine
- Many many many crazy late nights, most involve some sort of alcohol and/or greasy food in the mix
- Meeting the many cool and crazy people along the way with enormous talent
I truly believe that I do not deserve to be in any part of these things mentioned above and more. For starters, I don't think that a person of my capabilities should be able to even stand next to them. The people that I've met or at least got to know more of have so much drive, passion, enthusiasm and of course pure raw talent that I didn't think that a person of such limited skills, experience, knowledge and the lack of the qualities mentioned in these friends such as myself would even last 5 minutes with this group. They have honed themselves to be the best in what they do with their God given talents that sometimes it's amazing to see them work their magic. I, on the other hand, dabble in a lot of things but never gotten down to such detail and level of focus. I change direction wherever the wind blows. Everything is mish-mashed into a single incoherent entity that should just be burned. Yet, they do not measure friendship by their capabilities but treat me as equal. They have included me and it's in those times that I have given the opportunity to do things that I'd never dreamed off a year ago. And out of these times, there were moments of brilliance (not always on purpose) that come out of my little dabblings. And that is really something to behold.
Another aspect is that I think I am incredibly boring, relatively speaking. I don't do many things outside my normal routine. I don't go out much outside the city, because of transport problems. I don't go out and try new places to eat much, because I'm worried about my finances since I'm still here in Melbourne under "borrowed" money and even when I'm back home in Malaysia I don't know many places. I don't know a lot about music and other forms of entertainment. I don't buy a lot of clothes and stuff, because of finances again but mostly because everything here is just too damn big for me. Also, because I'm a science/math geek. That alone is enough reason for being incredibly boring. The wonderful people that I hang out with are very much in the opposite side of the spectrum. Music, design, art, social networking, writing and all. How on earth did I go from a bunch of geeky math classmates a couple of years back to a 180-degree turn to a bigger bunch of art-related/savvy friends is something that confounds me. I try not to talk too much about geek stuff but at least they'll listen if I do...for the first 5 minutes...if I'm lucky =P
Also, I don't think I'm a very funny person. I say a lot of lame stuff although I have to say I have toned down a bit compared to the yesteryears (I know at least one person would not be happy about this). Only few people will actually entertain these kind of things. While the bunch of friends, on the other hand, come up with so much improvised humour that is just amazing. Exaggeration, hyperboles, lightning fast and often extended associations, all contribute to the crazy funny things my friends can come up with. I think I'm like a parrot on a pirate captain's shoulder that just repeats some of the rather brainless humourous things they say. Very little originality and slow to respond. But I guess humour is the great leveler, as long as we laugh with each other (and occasionally at each other), many barriers are broken down and we realize that we are all the same.
In many of the situations I've been in over this year (if not all), I've played a mainly supportive role. Not many times in my life where I take the lead and charge head on and that is certainly true for this year. I guess you can say it is quite possibly the greatest ability I have. I've developed this affinity to always linger behind the scenes, always doing the things that most people who complain or refrain from doing plain, menial, repetitive tasks. I let other people enjoy outside while I handle the rest of things inside, wash, clean, prepare, cook, move stuff. I say, "Better for them to enjoy/relax than me". Because I think things will go horribly wrong if I take the lead. Seriously. I do enjoy being behind the scenes. I guess it's for me to keep me humble, to make sure that I do not go wanting myself to be in the limelight, to let it go to my head in the slightest way possible. That's not to say that I'm never tempted but I'll bring myself right back down to earth and not push and shove to do it my way.
It is the time where friends contemplate on what are their 2011 resolutions. Most resolutions can generally be placed in a few categories such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, obtain certain skills, better time management etc. I don't normally do resolutions (another reason why I'm pretty boring) because I've never really had the drive or the urge to accomplish something within the year (more reasons...). But for 2011, I'm going to make it an exception. I am going to set my resolutions and to try and stick to it like every other person who does their resolutions. I only have one resolution and that is 1920 x 1200. Ok seriously, I've decided to set only one for 2011. But I won't mention this resolution for this is also an experiment but you can find out about it on 31st December 2011, assuming I actually kept it. But I guess you can say it is something that I've been meaning to do for a long time and I think it is high time for me to do it now.
So, what's my prediction for next year? I don't know though I think it might possibly be another volatile year, even though that there is so much good that came out of this year. You know, to try and make me feel better about the 2 years before that. Next semester is going to be my final semester and is going to be another world of pain as I take on 4 programming heavy subjects with the possibility of tutoring on the side. And then there is the uncertain event of job hunting. What if I can't get a job here or cannot remain? Does that mean that my 2 years of doing a masters in something that I am pretty sure that I'm not going to be in in the long run goes to waste? All these different questions coming to mind. Then there is the issue of OCF. Should I pull back completely or should I still go except drop all the heavy involvement? So many questions and uncertainties, just like back in 2008. Obviously, I would like the outcome for 2011 to not look like 2008. Please. May God continue to guide me through yet another crossroad next year.
I thank God for bringing me through this year. It has been a tremendous blessing just being alive and kicking, even more so that he has given me all these experiences for this year. I'm still amazed at how many wonderful people I've gotten to know and to the friends that I've already made, to know them even more. Which reminds me, I'm also thankful to God for this tiny group of friends known as "a906" who I've spent majority of the year hanging out and doing stuff with them. Food and drink brings us together and is usually a catalyst for something more than just to satisfy our basic needs (yes, some feel that the consumption of coffee and alcohol is a basic need =P). Thank God for my sister for providing the occasional dose of insanity and randomness and meaningless "bickering". Thank God for my family for still supporting me even though I should be way past the financial support expiry date. Thank God for the rest of my friends spread out far and wide throughout the globe for still keeping in contact and offering encouragement every now and then.
Ok 2011, let's go!
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