Definitely one of the most frustrating but I'd have to say most satisfying was the Java one. Yes, I know that I've been complaining about it for the whole semester but on hindsight, I really understand why not many people are doing this subject. This is an accelerated Java subject which is meant to cram 2 semesters worth of Java into 1. So with that, we learn stuff fast and we have to do stuff fast. The thing that made this one satisfying is that we have now the ability to do GUIs (Graphical User Interface). It is the single most frustrating thing about Java, not so much of the difficulty of creating GUIs but the tedious nature of layout. Java goes to town about layout. Once the GUI is done and start using them, you've jumped from a code monkey to a regular everyday, completely oblivious about the backend program user. That's satisfaction.
With all the assignments out of the way, I can finally breathe a little easier. There is still quite a number of things to be done like studying for the exams and the super-long-overdued post-processing of Fernando and Onna's wedding. Probably the most pressing need to meet right now is cleaning up my room. It's like a pipe bomb went off my room. Not to mention the dust and...erm...other stuff.
In just a span of a few weeks, the number of couples and/or potential-couples have sky-rocketed. Like mushrooms sprouting after a good rain. This is nuts. It's almost the same as the year when I came to OCF except that was about medicine students. Back in 2004-5, if you stand in the middle of the back hall of the church during supper and where ever you look there is at least 5 medicine students in your direct line of sight. Now it seems that if you stand in the middle of the hall, you're bound to hit at least 5 people who are in a relationship or testing water in your line of sight. It may be an exaggeration but it's still pretty damn a lot. I don't know what to make of this but my first thoughts was that this is going to be very awkward. I don't know, I don't think I can be in a room (a large one for that matter) that is populated with couples or publicly known water testers and be myself. I find that the number of identification links among friends diminishes and that is no good socially. A classic case of birds of a feather flock together. Sure we can joke around about people who are together or water testing like primary school children but to be exposed to this environment every time gets pretty dull. Gone are the days when I'd never have to worry about such things and everything would be peachy. I guess my age is showing.
On that note, I realized that I am avoiding quite a number of people for more or less the same reason. I know what you are thinking, I'm in a self-fulfilling downward spiral. Well, maybe. Frankly speaking, I don't think we as a whole are as accommodating anymore. I can't step up to their level because of a clique-ish behaviour and they don't seem to step down to my level because they are either too busy or too distracted by other things or other people. Quite sad actually. If this continues on, then I think it may be high time for me to go serve elsewhere.
On a slightly brighter note, I know that Thanksgiving is not for another month or so but I've decided to give thanks for one thing for 25 days. I've been pretty depressed and/or negative that I think I should take the time to reflect on what are some of the good things that I've overlooked given my depressed state. It is also an attempt to get blog posts running normally again. And so here is Day 1:
I thank God for the second chances He has given me that has saved my bacon so many times. He is Grace, Mercy and Love.
And now, the short news of the week:
Damn, I don't have any of these. No wonder I'm not loaded. Perhaps my children will have a better head start than I did. Also to get an even better head start, should try for children only in the month of January. =P
This is not one for the faint of heart or easily disturbed emotionally.
Uni using Twitter for their course. Interesting but is there a point to it?
Amazing what you can do with cardboard boxes. Kudos to Daniel.
Everyone out there, keep surfing the web. It's good for you. A very good excuse to give to your boss =P
Posts
"On that note, I realized that I am avoiding quite a number of people for more or less the same reason. I know what you are thinking, I'm in a self-fulfilling downward spiral. Well, maybe. Frankly speaking, I don't think we as a whole are as accommodating anymore. I can't step up to their level because of a clique-ish behaviour and they don't seem to step down to my level because they are either too busy or too distracted by other things or other people. Quite sad actually. If this continues on, then I think it may be high time for me to go serve elsewhere."
I think, cliques happen wherever we are/go. I think it is a good thing that you are taking the initiative to chat with others. It's hard when people prefer to be exclusive, nothing much we can do there, but at least we do our part to chat with others and get to know them. I am sure there are members who would benefit from our service.
My personal view: I might not have the 'common interests' that attract me to talk to me. But, since I can't control or dictate how people should treat me, I just play my part and try to talk to others and get to know them. At least for me, that is my way forward.
I will be a 'working adult' next year. Do I continue staying in OCF in view of the generation gap (and probably people not interested to talk to me)? Hmmm, I think I am staying regardless. I think I have benefited so much from others serving me in the past (especially in my first few years in OCF) that perhaps it's high time for me to serve others in spite of how (not-) accommodating people are. Just my thoughts.
Correction:
I might not have the 'common interests' that attract PEOPLE to talk to me.
I'm not saying that cliques are not suppose to happen nor that they are unnatural as far as the friendship cycle goes. And yes I can't dictate how people should react to my "advances" but there is a point where I should be worried about the lack of response to my "advances"
It may be true that people are benefiting from me, I'm just not seeing it. For a long time. Is it a step forward? Probably not. No one can ever stay in a plateau-ed stage of anything forever. If there is no change, you need to find that change. It's hard to continue to do what I do and I am still trying, but like I said all the long, there is a limit to what I do.
Well, whatever your decision is about working life (which I think you've already made up your mind on it) that is for you to see it through.
I think you just have to persevere, serving is about serving others not ourselves. Yes it's very frustrating when you can't seem to connect with people now, but it goes both ways. Maybe God is trying to teach you something here?
Yes that may be true that God is trying to teach me something and that I need to persevere. I'm not saying that I'm ready to drop everything and look for greener pastures but it is also another possibility in God's plan that you can't discount altogether.
And yes, serving is about the other people. But in serving others, as you've said, goes both ways. Something is not right if it keeps being a one way communication. There is only so much one can give.