The past Friday was one of the most stressful and adrenaline filled day I've ever experience and something that really comes down to the wire. I had an assignment due during the mid-semester break on Friday and had a lot of things to do, in particular a lot of drawing diagrams. About 5 hours before submission, a call for help to play drums for OCF since the scheduled drummer was sick. Looking at the amount of things to do, I thought to myself "It ain't so bad. Worse come for worse, I'll just head home after music and then finish it. Half an hour tops". Wrong! More than two thirds of into the huge diagram that I have to draw, a number of things I noticed were wrong about the diagram and more importantly, it doesn't export the diagram into the correct file extension. And right at that time, I had to go to play drums. After music, I ran home and quickly fixed the problems. The submission is meant to be done online and it closes at 9:31pm (I'm guessing it's because there might be an overload around the last time of submission so give an extra minute. I submitted it at 9:30pm and I am pretty sure that I have waaaaay less than one minute left to spare. That was intense man.
Loads of videos on tabs right now so let's do the news and videos of the week:
Anyone who remembers the Power Rangers should surely vaguely remember the Green Ranger (or for the more hardcore fans, the White Ranger in the later episodes). He's going to fight in the UFC. Srsly.
Some of the stranger theme parks in the world. My personal favourite, Stalin's World. Lol.
There might be an upside to the whole losing connections thing I spoke about last time. At least I don't lose my mind talking to some attractive girl, I think...
I dare anyone to ask their grandparents about if they are still "doing" it, if you know what I mean...
If I knew about this guy earlier when thinking on where to do my PhD, I would have certainly gone to this guy instead of my honours supervisor. His PhD supervisor is like the pioneer of the research area that my supervisor is in. *jaw drop* kudos to Daniel for this (and no, not Daniel in Carlton)
According to Khai and self-evaluation, I am not that far off from a hopeless romantic that I thought I was...
Can you believe a 31 second heist in a Mac store? They got away with 23 Macbook Pros, 14 iPhones and 9 iPod Touches. They even have the video from the security camera.
An egg inside an egg. Khai, this puts your double yolked eggs to shame =P
One of the most creative use of the webcam in a music video.
Michael Jackson medley by just one guy. Pretty good but after awhile, you'll be oversaturated with pop voices. The rest of the videos from the same user are also pretty good, like Don't Stop Believing from Glee.
And now the feature presentation, Ukraine's Got Talent 2009 winner Kseniya Simonova with a mix of sand art and contemporary-style-type-story-telling-presentation. The vids are long but keep watching, they are worth it.
A story of World War 2 in Ukraine
A story of fame and family
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Anyway, I'm starting to feel the gravity of what I've been talking about for the last two posts. With each an every week passing by, I'm starting to really lose out on connections in OCF. I actually feel more confused now than the last time I spoke with "conviction" two posts ago. On the one hand, I really think that I am no longer in a position to be in OCF because I don't feel apart of the people that make up OCF. Many times I've lead Bible studies and talking to people after the Bible studies and all I get is nothing outside "business". Gone are the days where I hang out with the OCFers on a fairly regular basis and is now reduced to zilch. More friendships are starting to look a lot like acquaintances where we are now talking on an uneven playing field. But on the other, I am also thinking on whether or not this is all due to me. This mess that I am in is ultimately caused by me. Maybe I am not giving out a full effort in keeping the friendship. Maybe it is because I am always "apparently" buried in stuff to do. Maybe who I am now ticks people off more. Regardless of what it actually is, bottom line is that something is happening and I drew the short straw. And not liking it.
Don't get me wrong about not being in a position to be in OCF. I would love to continue serving where I am now but my previous statement still stands. How can I serve in a body of Christians when I cannot connect with them? That would mean that leading Bible studies would be no more confronting than a lecture or a workshop. Talk is no further than skin deep. Play is no further than the sake of the game. What went wrong? Issues like these prove to be a evaluation ground where I need to consider what has been going on, the implications and the response which obviously in the worst case scenario, leave OCF and serve in a group elsewhere.
To those reading this in whichever medium, I am open to thoughts, criticisms on my line of thought, slaps to the face if you think that there is something wrong or fishy (mmm...fish). Because while I would love to tackle this myself, this is a pretty serious matter whether or not you think of it that way. I need some outside perspective, possibly something to shake me up. When it comes to God and/or his people, it has to be dealt with seriously and this is no different. What to do?
You tell me...
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People dynamics keep changing and sometimes hard to keep up with. I am two steps behind with change - so I somewhat share your sentiments.
I read somewhere that the older you get the less people you trust with your loyalty. So, while the all familiar OCFers exit and new (and younger) ones come in, it is naturally difficult to connect.. (Wow I sound like a psychologist)
Well, not that you're old! I speak for myself!
Uhm...you can:
(1) get a pet
(2) have a vice - indulge in chocolate
(3) Watch NCIS seasons 1-6 and then rewatch
(4) Become obsessive compulsive and clean your house all the time
(5) Do portraiture (forces you to interact with people)
(6) ... dance through life, "painless and brainless" - as Fiyero (of Wicked the musical) would say - i.e don't think too much1
-massrapid
Age to me is not really the issue although it is weakly correlated. Also, while the new OCFers are indeed coming in and the old ones are leaving, it is not the new OCFers that I have a "problem" with, as you've already mentioned that it is difficult to connect with a younger generation that didn't grow up with cheesy '80s series, for example. It is actually my peers and/or the people whom I've known for a relatively long time that my issues root from.
In response to your suggestions:
(1) Hahaha. I want to have a pet. I've narrowed it down to a dog, a cat or a hedgehog. Sadly I can't have the hedgehog here unless I go back home. And my building doesn't allow pets (legally).
(2) A vice? I don't think I have one and unfortunately, unlike a lot of girls, chocolate isn't one of them =P
(3) NCIS is nice but not something I'd indulge in for 6 seasons and then rewatch them. Seinfeld on the other hand...
(4) I'm quite slack at cleaning the house. And I think I'd like to stay that way =P
(5) Portraiture is a good idea, if I had the time *shake fist at programming*
(6) I'm trying to do this one but not as easy as one thinks. I think that you'd have to go through many events such as these in all of its "glory" before you can even being to waltz through the minefield ahead. No one person can fully tell you how to do it and I think you need to be personally shot a few times before you become invincible (It's OK, I sometimes switch on my psychologist mode. It's good to be professional with other psychologists =P)
Some interesting thoughts there...
I think perhaps some of the older OCFers are just too busy welcoming or getting to know the newer ones that these older OCFers might not have time to chat with other older OCFers like Juwen, Lydia, and Kay Weng.
But I agree, at the same time, perhaps the older OCFers could continue to build on the existing relationships!
I don't think that is the problem. If that is what the older OCFers are doing, they wouldn't be having any isolation problems. They'd still have the company of the younger ones. At least, in theory.
It is hard for the older OCFers to continue since either they have left or am busy with work. And I think that is the key thing that loses touch with the OCF body.
In a sense, this is a slight rephrasing of the workers group problem in OCF which as far as I can remember, is a problem that isn't solved yet. Except that in my case, I am neither working nor in a position to bond well with the younger OCFers. The working people have their own group outside of OCF so it is not so much of a problem. At least, again, theoretically.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am neither here nor there and that is my problem. I'm usually not a fussy man about these sorts of things but there is a line to it.
I think I understand what you are saying, Juwen.
I agree there is some gap between the students and the working people in OCF or between the older students (such as the 'seniors' like me) and younger ones. Such gap exists wherever we are. Eg. At church, I am more inclined to talk to someone around my age than someone 30 years older. Such frustrations inevitably occur.
But how do we move from there? Hmmm... my little suggestions for myself (and perhaps anyone who agrees?) are:
(1) Try to 'thick-face-ly' get into conversations with people (In past two years, I have experienced countless times people slowly pushing me away from conversations because of generation gaps or lack of common interests. I understand and accept that.)
(2) Consider how I could serve others by lending a hand/ear/eye to people who would benefit from such little service. There are clicks among OCFers (not a problem in itself) but problem is some clicks are too inclusive and there are newcomers/new members out there whom we ought to care for if we are concerned for them. Consider how I could play my part in welcoming/getting to know these newcomers/new members (or people who are often alone).
(3) (This is much easier said than done...) Put my own interests aside and start thinking about how I could serve others' interests.
While the suggestions that you have given are good, they are unfortunately the ones that I have thought of first and doesn't seem to work.
1) I've tried this countless times and isn't getting anywhere (like what you have said above). Plus there is a certain limit of effort you can do before you starting thinking that this is all very futile.
2) I am doing this as a Bible study leader and while again this is a good idea, I'm no more than a person who knows about one's problems. I'm like a counselor where it is strictly professional, nothing more nothing less. Same can be said for the other people outside my Bible study group. Again as with (1) there is a certain limit to which you will start thinking that this is all very futile
3) As usual, while this is a good idea, one will feel like they are a robot capable of serving other people's needs. My interests here are not to be ignored which is just to be part of something rather than just have the superhero complex, that I am at the service of helping or serving other people's needs and then having to fly off to meet someone else's needs. While I agree that we are to put aside our interests in view of others, but we are all human beings that do have the need to belong somewhere and that is a personal interest in itself. There will be a point where it just becomes brainless and as in the previous two parts, start thinking that this is all very futile.
Hmmm interesting. I had the opposite problem before coming over to Melb. My youth group back in church consists of mostly teens and all my peers had left (abroad to study or rarely come anymore). This did not bother me much as I grew up with the younger ones. I was really close to them to the point that they will ask me how come I never hang out with my peers.
So coming back to your problem, I think it all starts from yourself. Though I admit there are strong cliques in OCF. In my opinion, it's not that hard for you to relate to the younger ones cuz you're still a student (num 1) and you're mostly in OCF all the time.
People would most definitely notice if you take a genuine interest in them and want to build a friendship. Hope it helps.
God bless.
You're kinda late commenting on this =P
You're unlike most people that you have the opposite problem to mine, if that were my problem.
My problem is not that I cannot connect with my peers although that has some hand in it. My problem is that I cannot connect with anyone now. I don't care if I, for some strange magical reason, able to connect with people much older than me or much younger than me or even my peers. I care that I can connect with some group of people. Which is not the case now.
Again, being in OCF all the time doesn't mean that I have some ability to connect. I've tried many times to the younger ones and my peers (most of the older ones either left OCF or went back), and find no fruit. So, either my approach is wrong (which I don't think it is) or that the dynamics have evolved to a different state altogether.
While I am still a student, I would say this has very little impact to my situation, as I have mentioned in the previous comments. I don't do the same things as others (even studying which is the most common denominator of all students is also different). I find that the best starting point to any connection to be made is identification. And that probably contributes to most of the problems.
How do you define "take a genuine interest"? Define this properly and you would either have solved half my problems or none at all.
Thanks for dropping by though. It's always good to know people reading my blog and not stalkers, like some people I know...=P
That's cuz I just found your blog a few days ago. Yea I have a blog too and speaking about stalkers, you're right. I noticed that many are from Melb and when I asked them to leave their name, none did!
I find your case rather interesting.
By connect, I take it that you mean to know someone not in a superficial manner. I guess more often than not, people change. And when they change, our relationship with them changes as well. I know of a friend who turned 180 when I came here and started bs-ing, though we were really close. When people change it's beyond our control. That would probably explain the situation with your old friends (assuming that you stay the same and maintain the same amount of contact with them).
How else to define "take a genuine interest"? lol.
U haz blog? Ware?
Why do you find it my case interesting? And don't give me the "Because it's interesting lah!" crap. In all seriousness, why? I don't see how my situation is anything different that what most people experience.
I agree that people change over time and there is nothing much that I can do about it. And yes, it may be that that would be the case for me. But I think that only answers some of the problems I have currently. And not only that, I think it only provides half an answer (although I would like to call it a sweep-under-carpet approach). That's not something I can work on.
As with genuine interest, people can define "genuine" in several ways. What do you mean by genuine in this context?
quicks7.blogspot.com
I find your case rather interesting that you lost "contact" with your old friends, friends that you had for a long time (in Melb), assuming that's what you mean by you can't connect with anyone now. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Okay, I think we've covered the case where people change and there's nothing much you can do about it. So, the other part of the reason you're looking for would be something related to you. Is there something that's blocking you from connecting with people atm? Idk, only you would know.
"Genuine" as in, want to build a real friendship, neither parties are parasites. It takes time to build one, and 2 to clap. So assuming again that the other party "is able to clap", what about you?
Hey, maybe some of us who are interested in this topic can get together and talk about this...
Cliques, non-accommodating etc. etc.
I think that's a good idea but I am picky about who can be involved in this. For those who have sensed this going on then the green light is lit. For those who don't know or understand what is going on, perhaps it's not such a good idea.
am i included? lol
Can also. Unless Kay Weng doesn't want you to participate. Then you have to take it out on him =P