One of the key things that we have as human beings is the ability to persist in a task, trying all possible solutions until one achieves their goal. But having the ability to persist is really the easy part. The difficult part is the ability to know when to keep going and knowing that you are heading in sunk cost territory. This I think defines a lot of our successes or at least it is one of the major factors for those successes.
I still have no clue when to keep trying or when to give up.
Often times where I keep going, I end up investing more into it but ultimately it was a lost cause and got burned flat out and other times I gave up knowing that I should have kept on. This is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night. How the hell do I know when to do what? Perhaps is the paralysis of fear that is really the issue, just that it manifests itself in the form of the question on when to persist. Recently I watched Wicked on theatre and was reminded of the lion with no courage in the musical, that lion eventually made its way to the Wizard of Oz story. I think that is me. This too keeps me up at night. By the way, the current cast for Wicked in Melbourne is not that great. This too keeps me up at night.
We all persist up to a point, there is no changing that. I just don't know where that point is and the consequences are personality-changing.
I smell like curry...
I ♥ NY
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
at
11:27 PM
There has been this page on Facebook that a lot of friends share or like the posts on that page. That page is called Humans of New York. The idea is kind of the style of The Sartorialist but with a story that comes with the person in the frame. Each one of them has a unique story in their own lives and it is pretty compelling. Even without hearing them give their story you can almost imagine what that would sound like. Each of their stories range from the hilarious to the inspirational to sometimes the grey areas in life. I suspect that most of my friends who share these posts tend to be one the inspirational side but I much prefer all the other stories that are shown in the page.
I was just looking back at all the photos that I have taken during my trip to the States and reflecting on my trip in New York has shown me why I love that Facebook page. Looking back at the conversations that I have with strangers while I was out (mostly) looking for food and drinks, each one of them has a story to tell. I remember clearly that while I was at a bar that a friend urged me to go because it was a particularly unique way to get into the bar, I just randomly talked to this dapper looking old man just having orange juice. In a really must-be-in-the-know kind of cocktail bar which strikes me as odd. Later I found out that he is a photographer and contributer to the New York Times and has written a few books. He told me that he has been sober for over 10 years but he still likes going to bars because of the atmosphere but of course he never orders any alcohol. He then gave me a crash course in all things Manhattan and some of his travels for stories or ideas for books that he would like to write and some local history in journalism in New York. We talked for hours and was a very interesting person. I remember that I got back to the apartment that I was staying in at around 3 am and the bar was literally next door from the apartment. I also kinda fixed his computer at the bar as well which was not bad considering that I was half tipsy. Another fun fact about this guy which I thought was somewhat amazing was that he was still using an AOL email account as his main point of contact. Wow.
And this is just one of the people that I ended up striking conversations with while at this amazing city. Though I was there for a week I didn't get to fill all of the days with encounters like these but even just one is an experience already. But each one of them has a unique story about them that is just great to listen to them. And this Facebook page was definitely a reflection of what I experienced while I was there. On hindsight, had I went with someone or a group of people to New York, chances are that I won't be able to experience this part of New York, the locals living life in this great city. I (or rather, we) would have been so busy trying to explore the geographical parts of the city and the must have experiences in and around the island that we would have missed this entirely different side of the city, the people.
The ironic thing about some of these amazing encounters with strangers there is that I am more honest in front of them that I do with most of my friends. I guess it is because that I know that it is unlikely that I will meet them again and whatever secrets or things I tell them is not likely to come back to me in one way or another. Maybe bars are the place is the right atmosphere to be completely transparent and not be judged. So many movies depict this and I can see why this is such a cliche but that is just because it is true. Conversations late at night at the bar, laughing and listening, though usually it is always a guy and a girl and somehow eventually makes out or something ridiculous like that. Much to the disappointment of my readers, that sort of thing did not happen while I was there. Because I am such a square and I am not that interesting of a person. Point being is that moderate amounts of alcohol does things to you apart from the physiological effects of alcohol, social interaction becomes very different in a non-drunk way.
I wonder if there is that kind of character in the people of Melbourne. As in, if there is a Humans of Melbourne Facebook page, would the stories and the people be as captivating and unique as the New York page? I suspect not, we are probably too much of a hipster bunch. Still, I would like to see someone try.
I was just looking back at all the photos that I have taken during my trip to the States and reflecting on my trip in New York has shown me why I love that Facebook page. Looking back at the conversations that I have with strangers while I was out (mostly) looking for food and drinks, each one of them has a story to tell. I remember clearly that while I was at a bar that a friend urged me to go because it was a particularly unique way to get into the bar, I just randomly talked to this dapper looking old man just having orange juice. In a really must-be-in-the-know kind of cocktail bar which strikes me as odd. Later I found out that he is a photographer and contributer to the New York Times and has written a few books. He told me that he has been sober for over 10 years but he still likes going to bars because of the atmosphere but of course he never orders any alcohol. He then gave me a crash course in all things Manhattan and some of his travels for stories or ideas for books that he would like to write and some local history in journalism in New York. We talked for hours and was a very interesting person. I remember that I got back to the apartment that I was staying in at around 3 am and the bar was literally next door from the apartment. I also kinda fixed his computer at the bar as well which was not bad considering that I was half tipsy. Another fun fact about this guy which I thought was somewhat amazing was that he was still using an AOL email account as his main point of contact. Wow.
And this is just one of the people that I ended up striking conversations with while at this amazing city. Though I was there for a week I didn't get to fill all of the days with encounters like these but even just one is an experience already. But each one of them has a unique story about them that is just great to listen to them. And this Facebook page was definitely a reflection of what I experienced while I was there. On hindsight, had I went with someone or a group of people to New York, chances are that I won't be able to experience this part of New York, the locals living life in this great city. I (or rather, we) would have been so busy trying to explore the geographical parts of the city and the must have experiences in and around the island that we would have missed this entirely different side of the city, the people.
The ironic thing about some of these amazing encounters with strangers there is that I am more honest in front of them that I do with most of my friends. I guess it is because that I know that it is unlikely that I will meet them again and whatever secrets or things I tell them is not likely to come back to me in one way or another. Maybe bars are the place is the right atmosphere to be completely transparent and not be judged. So many movies depict this and I can see why this is such a cliche but that is just because it is true. Conversations late at night at the bar, laughing and listening, though usually it is always a guy and a girl and somehow eventually makes out or something ridiculous like that. Much to the disappointment of my readers, that sort of thing did not happen while I was there. Because I am such a square and I am not that interesting of a person. Point being is that moderate amounts of alcohol does things to you apart from the physiological effects of alcohol, social interaction becomes very different in a non-drunk way.
I wonder if there is that kind of character in the people of Melbourne. As in, if there is a Humans of Melbourne Facebook page, would the stories and the people be as captivating and unique as the New York page? I suspect not, we are probably too much of a hipster bunch. Still, I would like to see someone try.
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Back To Reality
Monday, July 7, 2014
at
11:34 PM
Settling back to routine after a one month crazy holiday feels a bit weird. It is like you are neither here nor there. For the last two weeks at work, I am constantly frustrated at how unproductive I am at work. In fact, I think that I am counter productive at work. All I have been doing is continuous integration work and not really much coding, much to the dismay of my already rusty coding skills.
Not only that I am counter productive at work, but I've become a terrible procrastinator as well. Last Saturday, I spent the whole day in my room and only venturing out for water and the bathroom. And all I did was sleep, read some stuff, play some games and rinse and repeat. By the end of the day, I was already sick of myself. Just to rub a little more salt on the procrastinating wound, when I went to church the next day and caught up with a friend that I haven't seen in awhile, she told me that she's basically got a million and one things to do and by the time that she was ready to go to church she had already smashed a lot of things down. On the plus side, there was a "the grass is greener on the other side" look on the both of us which I think was pretty funny.
But the thing that is slowly dawning upon me is that while settling back to the normal routine of work and all, settling back on dealing with my personal issues is much harder. Think of it as the one month escapist answer to the problems. Of course I didn't really think that my problems will be gone if I just leave it all behind while I go galavanting around in another continent. But I effectively thought it will be gone. Coming back and seeing all the pieces on the floor just the way I left them is a little disheartening and frankly don't really know what to do with them. I probably had more of an idea on how to handle it before I left and now I just don't know what to do. At times like these, I wish the "git reset --hard" command would work now, which by the way is an immensely useful tool at work.
I just feel so stupid for all my actions.
Not only that I am counter productive at work, but I've become a terrible procrastinator as well. Last Saturday, I spent the whole day in my room and only venturing out for water and the bathroom. And all I did was sleep, read some stuff, play some games and rinse and repeat. By the end of the day, I was already sick of myself. Just to rub a little more salt on the procrastinating wound, when I went to church the next day and caught up with a friend that I haven't seen in awhile, she told me that she's basically got a million and one things to do and by the time that she was ready to go to church she had already smashed a lot of things down. On the plus side, there was a "the grass is greener on the other side" look on the both of us which I think was pretty funny.
But the thing that is slowly dawning upon me is that while settling back to the normal routine of work and all, settling back on dealing with my personal issues is much harder. Think of it as the one month escapist answer to the problems. Of course I didn't really think that my problems will be gone if I just leave it all behind while I go galavanting around in another continent. But I effectively thought it will be gone. Coming back and seeing all the pieces on the floor just the way I left them is a little disheartening and frankly don't really know what to do with them. I probably had more of an idea on how to handle it before I left and now I just don't know what to do. At times like these, I wish the "git reset --hard" command would work now, which by the way is an immensely useful tool at work.
I just feel so stupid for all my actions.
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Stranger Than Fiction
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
at
10:59 PM
With no jet lag to battle, this week so far has been a lot better than I expected. On one hand, it is good to see familiar faces again, and on the other, I really miss the hustle of the places that I have visited while in North America. Each city has its own charms and really depends on what you feel like. For example, Vancouver has really nice hiking trails and outdoor-sy stuff, San Fran has nice suburban houses, New York has a certain bustle that just cannot be placed into words that I like and Chicago is a nice town with a lot of potential.
There is a lot that I have experienced during the month that I was away, mostly was good and something that I would encourage people to try the same because there is nothing quite like it when you travel alone. For example, eating and drinking solo. You can somehow be in a conversation with a completely random stranger and learning how to start the conversation with others usually brings you to unexpected areas. And I think one of the things that I learned from travelling alone is that while you strike a conversation with strangers and generally having a good time then, it gives you a renewed sense of gratitude towards your own friends.
Other times, you learn that sometimes the strangest things happen to you and even stranger still are the ways in which these things end up resolving. The one thing that will definitely be a story that is worth telling over and over again (we are talking grandkids story telling worthy here) is the time that I lost my wallet at the airport and the utterly extraordinary way in which I got back my wallet with everything intact. I have contemplated whether I should spill the beans here but I think I have decided against that. It's a bit lengthy but more importantly, it is the delivery that matters and gives a much bigger impact to the listener. Detailing every thing here makes it look very sterile and somewhat less extraordinary than it actually is (seriously, this one's a doozy). So, to those out there reading this and really want to find out, let's do it over coffee (or better yet, cocktails and/or bourbon). This story will now supersede the story of how I was mugged (albeit rather noobishly). Actually the mugging story has now been relegated to third place because of the story of the lost wallet and another somewhat embarrassing story that also took place while I was touring around.
I've had a good long self reflection time while waiting on the plane to get back to Melbourne and I can clearly see that God has been protecting me for the entire trip and even taught me a lesson or two about how God has everything under control. About 3 months back, the pastor of my church asked the congregation to secretly write out our rants about God and the cards that we wrote on will be mailed back to us after 3 months for us to look back about what God has done during those 3 months. I've mostly forgotten what I've written but when I came back home, I got the card back. I mainly wrote about how I don't know where God is leading me and what the future holds and that I have to fend for myself, that I feel the absence of God. I think just looking back at the past month itself has been a testament that God has definitely shown himself and that he has shown that he is working in all things. While I still worry about the future, I think much has been given to me to have full confidence that God is not absent nor lazy.
There is a lot that I have experienced during the month that I was away, mostly was good and something that I would encourage people to try the same because there is nothing quite like it when you travel alone. For example, eating and drinking solo. You can somehow be in a conversation with a completely random stranger and learning how to start the conversation with others usually brings you to unexpected areas. And I think one of the things that I learned from travelling alone is that while you strike a conversation with strangers and generally having a good time then, it gives you a renewed sense of gratitude towards your own friends.
Other times, you learn that sometimes the strangest things happen to you and even stranger still are the ways in which these things end up resolving. The one thing that will definitely be a story that is worth telling over and over again (we are talking grandkids story telling worthy here) is the time that I lost my wallet at the airport and the utterly extraordinary way in which I got back my wallet with everything intact. I have contemplated whether I should spill the beans here but I think I have decided against that. It's a bit lengthy but more importantly, it is the delivery that matters and gives a much bigger impact to the listener. Detailing every thing here makes it look very sterile and somewhat less extraordinary than it actually is (seriously, this one's a doozy). So, to those out there reading this and really want to find out, let's do it over coffee (or better yet, cocktails and/or bourbon). This story will now supersede the story of how I was mugged (albeit rather noobishly). Actually the mugging story has now been relegated to third place because of the story of the lost wallet and another somewhat embarrassing story that also took place while I was touring around.
I've had a good long self reflection time while waiting on the plane to get back to Melbourne and I can clearly see that God has been protecting me for the entire trip and even taught me a lesson or two about how God has everything under control. About 3 months back, the pastor of my church asked the congregation to secretly write out our rants about God and the cards that we wrote on will be mailed back to us after 3 months for us to look back about what God has done during those 3 months. I've mostly forgotten what I've written but when I came back home, I got the card back. I mainly wrote about how I don't know where God is leading me and what the future holds and that I have to fend for myself, that I feel the absence of God. I think just looking back at the past month itself has been a testament that God has definitely shown himself and that he has shown that he is working in all things. While I still worry about the future, I think much has been given to me to have full confidence that God is not absent nor lazy.
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Wanderlust
Sunday, June 8, 2014
at
4:52 PM
TL;DR
Canada is freaking beautiful, San Fran is quaint but weird weather, WWDC was a blast.
***
I was kinda upset that I couldn't get to go to Vancouver to see my sister on Saturday and that there was nothing that I can do about it, even though the whole passport approval came in the nick of time. Not to mention the short term panic that I caused at work in trying to be able to get to the airport and to Sydney in 3 hours. I felt super bad about it considering that I really want to spend more time with the sister. But I think on hindsight, it worked out better than I thought. Instead of 6 days, I got 4 days when initially I thought it was going to be 3. And it turned out that it was just nice to cover a lot of things in those short 4 days, though I wish that I could do more hikes in Vancouver. Damn, the hikes in Canada are spectacular and there is nothing quite like it anywhere in Australia or at least the ones I have been so far. Not to mention eating a lot, drinking lots of cocktails (seriously, they are like at least 2 times cheaper than what you get in Australia, even as extreme as 4 times cheaper) and exploring the area. Vancouver has got some really nice spots though some areas get pretty dodgy pretty quickly.
San Fran is also a really nice place though again there are some parts that dodgy. Plus some areas smells like pot. And there are a lot of homeless people around here. I didn't remember that the last time that I was here. But the northern area of San Fran is really nice, the houses are just so nice and the apartments with all the fire escape ladders outside. Also there is a reason that most of the inhabitants of this city is so healthy, the amount of hills that you have to climb is just nuts. And not only that, but the steep incline on most of these hills are a killer. You can have your strength training and cardio done all at the same time just walking up and down the hills of San Fran.
It is also the first time that I rode a Segway. They say that these things are supposed to be very intuitive to ride and I have to say that it was easier than I expected. In fact I really like it. I think that when we eventually move out of the current office that we have into an even larger office, we all should have Segways to roam around and maybe perhaps yell at a tester or a designer.
San Fran is a strange place in terms of weather. During the day it is nice and warm and sunny but once it hits late afternoon, temperature drops and the wind starts kicking in. All of a sudden, it feels like winter again.
And now for the meaty bit, WWDC. Get to be roommates with one of my colleagues, decide to wait in line for the keynote at 5:30 in the morning (we wanted to wake up at 3 am but apparently we didn't hear the alarm go off) and of course get our heads blown off by the bombshell that was just dropped on us developers. Frankly speaking, I have picked the best time to go for WWDC and by accident too.
We are of course talking about the new programming language on the block, Swift. No one saw that coming, not by a long shot. And what we saw, we liked it instantly. It does all the things that we want to be able to do as far as the Objective-C language is concerned and a whole lot more awesomeness. Granted that the language is still incomplete but it's enough for everyone to immediately jump in and try and see if we can write apps faster, better, safer and more concise. For the first time more than 20+ years of Objective-C, now everyone is one a level playing field. Everybody became beginners. And it is amazing what you can do with the language now. It's just crazy.
WWDC itself was already crazy, with about 6000 devs in one roof and so many sessions with most of them frequently being packed out, we are just trying to get out of the talks as much as we can. But I think the one that is of the most help are the Apple engineers that are on site ready to be able to answer all questions thrown at them. I've got a couple of questions and some more from my colleagues back in the office, and they just chewed it up straight away. There is one question that we thought was a bug in one of the classes that we were using from Apple, and after some very 1337-ish debugging in a span of a minute, gave the answer straight away and even tested to see that it works normally with a fix. That was the most magical thing I have ever seen.
The other thing that was good during that week was that there were all these big companies that organises after hour drinks and some even opened up their offices for people to join in the fun. Some of these guys have really cool offices and it is cool to meet the different people in the company and out of the company. I met people who were working for Apple, Pinterest, Optimizely, Twitter, Crashlytics, Yelp and many more. Lots of them are just excited about meeting the devs in WWDC as well.
Now that the conference is over and more exploring, eating and drinking is in order, I think that I am reaching the point where I would want to start getting back to work. But then again, New York might change everything or even Chicago. Because there is all these stuff that you just want to be able to use it straight in work and you just can't wait for that. That and also I'm getting poor. Maybe more of the latter.
Happy birthday man, happy birthday.
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The Problem With Prayer
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
at
11:29 PM
...or rather the problem with content-flawed prayers.
The drama never stops around here. Now going to have to cancel my flight and re-book my flight out to Canada (possibly even skipping it entirely) thanks to the fact that my passport requires it to be flown to Sydney twice just to get two labels on my passport. Hopes of seeing my sister dashed just like that.
I've told people that nothing short of divine intervention will get my passport back on time for me to fly off this Saturday. And the responses I get are pretty much the same, you better pray hard that that might happen. All except one guy, who I can always trust to say the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing to hear.
You see, I think that a lot of us tend to default to a certain kind of prayer when things aren't going according to plan. We pray for some divine intervention will occur as if we are the one running the show. Kinda like a director begging the actor who can't seem to get the lines right. Even as seasoned Christians with loads of Bible knowledge, we still pray like this knowing that this is not how prayer works. Often we interchange prayer with begging and those are two completely different things.
The more I think about my situation and how people respond to such annoyances that I have, the more I think about how utter flawed our prayers can be. Back to this friend who layeth down what it actually is, he expressed his disappointment that empatises with me but also said that maybe this is now what God wants you to be (in Canada) at this point in time. Just about everyone will have a knee jerk reaction when you hear something like this, and have a reply like "What? Is trying to visit my sister not what or where God wants me to be??". The younger me would have definitely said that and most certainly scoff at the idea (and at my friend) that God doesn't want me to be with my sister. But after hearing that as we head to work, I didn't flinch and nodded in agreement. It's not a sign of resignation or cowardice, it's a sign of acknowledgement and understanding how things are with God.
There is a real temptation to think that if I can pray hard enough, or rather beg hard enough that something might happen. We all like to be the optimistic person when the going gets tough, which is not in itself a bad thing. And who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe. The problem is then what happens when the divine intervention that you want doesn't come. Most will get bummed out, wail or even be grumpy. Or worse, let out a sigh of resignation and have that bottled up for years. I am reminded of Jesus when he was arrested at the garden where he knew that he was going to go to the cross and he even prayed for "divine intervention" that he would not need to go through this. But ultimately say not my will but Yours (God) be done. Later on when some soldier's ear got cut off, Jesus mentions that he could have called legions of angels at his disposal. Though that would have made for a more awesome story, but that was not the will of God. Fast forward to the time when he was crucified, others scorned him to show some divine intervention to bring him down from the cross. But that didn't happen either because of the will of God.
I think my prayers have not changed during the whole drama but stayed more or less the same. And I think that is a good thing. You are not thrown around by the chaos of it all but just calmly ask and trust that God knows what he is doing. If you do get what you want, well praise God but if not God is doing something, just not what you were thinking of. Let God be God.
The drama never stops around here. Now going to have to cancel my flight and re-book my flight out to Canada (possibly even skipping it entirely) thanks to the fact that my passport requires it to be flown to Sydney twice just to get two labels on my passport. Hopes of seeing my sister dashed just like that.
I've told people that nothing short of divine intervention will get my passport back on time for me to fly off this Saturday. And the responses I get are pretty much the same, you better pray hard that that might happen. All except one guy, who I can always trust to say the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing to hear.
You see, I think that a lot of us tend to default to a certain kind of prayer when things aren't going according to plan. We pray for some divine intervention will occur as if we are the one running the show. Kinda like a director begging the actor who can't seem to get the lines right. Even as seasoned Christians with loads of Bible knowledge, we still pray like this knowing that this is not how prayer works. Often we interchange prayer with begging and those are two completely different things.
The more I think about my situation and how people respond to such annoyances that I have, the more I think about how utter flawed our prayers can be. Back to this friend who layeth down what it actually is, he expressed his disappointment that empatises with me but also said that maybe this is now what God wants you to be (in Canada) at this point in time. Just about everyone will have a knee jerk reaction when you hear something like this, and have a reply like "What? Is trying to visit my sister not what or where God wants me to be??". The younger me would have definitely said that and most certainly scoff at the idea (and at my friend) that God doesn't want me to be with my sister. But after hearing that as we head to work, I didn't flinch and nodded in agreement. It's not a sign of resignation or cowardice, it's a sign of acknowledgement and understanding how things are with God.
There is a real temptation to think that if I can pray hard enough, or rather beg hard enough that something might happen. We all like to be the optimistic person when the going gets tough, which is not in itself a bad thing. And who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe. The problem is then what happens when the divine intervention that you want doesn't come. Most will get bummed out, wail or even be grumpy. Or worse, let out a sigh of resignation and have that bottled up for years. I am reminded of Jesus when he was arrested at the garden where he knew that he was going to go to the cross and he even prayed for "divine intervention" that he would not need to go through this. But ultimately say not my will but Yours (God) be done. Later on when some soldier's ear got cut off, Jesus mentions that he could have called legions of angels at his disposal. Though that would have made for a more awesome story, but that was not the will of God. Fast forward to the time when he was crucified, others scorned him to show some divine intervention to bring him down from the cross. But that didn't happen either because of the will of God.
I think my prayers have not changed during the whole drama but stayed more or less the same. And I think that is a good thing. You are not thrown around by the chaos of it all but just calmly ask and trust that God knows what he is doing. If you do get what you want, well praise God but if not God is doing something, just not what you were thinking of. Let God be God.
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Poutine and Hot Dogs
Sunday, May 18, 2014
at
7:33 PM
You know I am dead excited about my great North American trip, which is just coming up to a week to go before I leave. There is still a lot of drama left to settle just before I leave but it is at least better than the state I was in about 2 days ago.
I am sure that I will thoroughly enjoy myself over the next 4 weeks (hopefully), having a lot of things lined up thanks to the heads up from many friends who have gone before me. In fact, there are some things that I will be doing that some people would only dream of let alone to experience it.
I have been meaning to travel alone and to go to New York for the longest time and just thinking about it makes me feel so excited. The food, the places to see, the bars and all that stuff. Basically this sums up all the things that I have been dying to do. This is what I have always wanted ever since I have been watching American TV shows.
And yet, in spite of all these wonderful experiences that I will be having, in spite of getting what I have always wanted, I am still left with the feeling that something is missing. And I think I know what is that something. Normally this wouldn't really be an issue but considering that I am in the middle of the 2 year cycle, it has now become one. I think this would be the hardest one to get over. I will get there eventually, one way or another, as my past have shown me.
It is still going to be one epic trip.
***
I am sure that I will thoroughly enjoy myself over the next 4 weeks (hopefully), having a lot of things lined up thanks to the heads up from many friends who have gone before me. In fact, there are some things that I will be doing that some people would only dream of let alone to experience it.
I have been meaning to travel alone and to go to New York for the longest time and just thinking about it makes me feel so excited. The food, the places to see, the bars and all that stuff. Basically this sums up all the things that I have been dying to do. This is what I have always wanted ever since I have been watching American TV shows.
And yet, in spite of all these wonderful experiences that I will be having, in spite of getting what I have always wanted, I am still left with the feeling that something is missing. And I think I know what is that something. Normally this wouldn't really be an issue but considering that I am in the middle of the 2 year cycle, it has now become one. I think this would be the hardest one to get over. I will get there eventually, one way or another, as my past have shown me.
It is still going to be one epic trip.
***
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