Anger Management

Friday, August 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I had lunch with a good friend of mine and it was a seriously overdued catch up session. We meant to do the usual catch-up-y things, like asking how are things, how's work etc etc. Which we did but it quickly moved into conversations with another common ground. Over the next 1.5 hours we went on essentially asking the same question, "What happened?". Various areas were covered under that question like ministry, our personal lives and so on. Even though it has been a long time since the last time I saw my friend but I feel that we've pretty much gone through the same experiences, with a slight difference in flavour between us.

I can't really say much but the things that I got out of our conversation was that it was ok to show anger as long as it was for legitimate reasons and that there is a time to know when to cut our losses. Oh and I should really meet up with my friend more often. We say the darnest things sometimes.

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I'd really like to look like this guy. Except not left handed.

Curiosity Didn't Kill The Cat

Tuesday, August 7, 2012 at 1:00 AM
...maybe a Martian.

2012 is turning out to be a great year for science. Earlier this year we found the Higgs boson, further sealing our understanding of the standard model of particle physics (plus more in the future perhaps) and now an incredible Mars rover landing on a planet that takes twice as long for a signal to come back to Earth than it is to enter Mars atmosphere and land. Many people back in the 60s remember the space program and anyone who has a decent working memory back then and is still alive today can tell you exactly where they were when we landed on the moon. Some will even tell you that it was those events that led them into science. Today is one such day for the younger generation. Never before since the late 60s has there been a truly remarkable feat of space exploration until today. I hope that people will look back to this moment to finally realize that this was the sole event that stirred up the young people to go back to science and why the hell it took us so long to get there.

If you didn't know what was the big deal about this Mars landing, we basically sent a mini laboratory complete with a mass spectrometer, a drill, a frigging laser that vapourises rocks, a nuclearized version of a car battery, enough sensors to make your futuristic car look like a cheap oven thermometer and all this within the size of a Mini Cooper. Into space and on Mars. And we landed that lab using a parachute, retrorockets and a skycrane. With everything fully automated because by the time we get a signal that it has entered the atmosphere, the rover would have been on the ground (either in one piece or several thousand) for 7 minutes already. And it only cost less than a movie ticket per American resident. If your 5 year old kids don't think this is super cool, God knows what is. I don't need to emphasize this any more but we badly need something like this. I hate to see science and math being dumbed down further knowing that it is because of those two things that got a laboratory to travel more than 350 million kilometres for eight months and land it within a 12 by 3 kilometre area virtually without human guidance.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Monday, August 6, 2012 at 2:00 AM
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constraint to be
Let thy goodness, like a fetter
Bind my wandering to thee
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above

The Final Frontier

Monday, July 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Lately, I have been listening to a lot of speeches and interviews from a scientist who has been gaining a lot of my respect, Neil deGrasse Tyson. You may recognise him as the guy in the Badass Meme. He speaks a lot about how I felt about science when I was a kid growing up and how the space program inspires many to be scientists, engineers and mathematicians and why the NASA space program is so influential in this area. He also sometimes speak about the education of children to develop the skills necessary to be interested in science, which of course goes right up my alley of promoting STEM education.

When I was about 9, I got an encyclopedia for my birthday present and that had a pretty big science slant to it. It also has the characters from the comic strip Peanuts on it which was the first comic strip I will read when the newspaper arrived on the table. That to me was my first exposure to the wonder of space, and ultimately, science. The solar system, stars, galaxies, nebulas, black holes. The list goes on. Read about missions to the moon more times than I can count, the space shuttle missions, including the first American female astronaut who recently passed away, Sally Ride. I remember I had great respect for her when I was that age because even back then, not many girls I know were interested in math or science. That time I changed my mind about what I want to be when I grow up from doctor to scientist (more specifically, an astronomer). So hearing the words from Dr. Tyson on how space has a way of operating on our culture echoes a lot of my childhood years. At this moment, I realise how immensely fortunate that I had the resources as a child to gain an interest in science and still do to this day (though there were speed bumps along the way, including from the very people who gave me the resources to learn but that is another story altogether)

Besides being attributed as the Carl Sagan of our generation, he also grabs my attention on other things that are somewhat weakly related to science. While he pretty much discredits God, he does some very important things to say to both the ignorant religious people and the "holier-than-thou" atheists. I have to admit that sometimes we as Christians say some pretty stupid things when science gets into the mix. Or even worse that we credit science as the devil's work (though this is largely from an American demographic, from my observations. I don't think I have come across any Asians who say this sort of things about science). And I'm not even referring to the idea of evolution versus so-called intelligent design, which can get pretty dicey. There are just too many short comments from him that we can learn, especially when we try to have an open discussion between our beliefs and science, that I highly recommend watching some of these speeches/interviews. They easily go for an hour each but I'd say it will broaden your mind on the issue. At the very least when it comes to constructing sound arguments and not try to answer everything with the God of the gaps theory.





I wished I had heard this before I started my PhD. I would have been more focused in trying to finish it. Eventually.



A must watched video on short gripes he has about weak arguments, whether from religious people (read: Christians) or skeptics.



A dialogue between Dr. Tyson and Richard Dawkins. It's more interesting that you think it is.



A highly entertaining interview between Stephen Colbert and Dr. Tyson


I apologize if some of the things he say overlap in all the videos.


The badass in Neil deGrasse Tyson is justified.

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I've witnessed to an interrogation that I've drawn a lot of parallels with my own experience though arguably less severe. Even after all these years, I'm still learning things about it. Perhaps I have not fully learned everything that I need to know from that period of time. It might be one of those RPG-esque situations where I need to grind before I level up to move on. And no, I don't have enough XP. Yet.

On the flip side, I'm learning a new skill as a result of some of these side quests, learn whether someone is not telling the whole story and the discernment to spill the beans. This might prove to be very useful.

8 Year Old Cards

Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 10:00 PM
I was clearing out my room when I decided to look through all the cards that I have accumulated since I came to Melbourne from the box that used to house my iron. Still remember most of the people who gave me those cards though most of them too have grown distant from me either because they have moved back to their home country and/or gotten married and have their own family.

Three observations from these cards:
  1. I have received more cards from one person than any other in the box. I think of the many times that I have distanced myself from this person in light of the thoughtful things that were embedded in these cards makes me feel bad. Perhaps I should do something about it. Who knows, perhaps it might also point me to the right direction when it comes to other people in general.

  2. Even though majority of these cards essentially say the same thing, there were a small handful that steps out of the normal. One had this to say:
    As you continue to find your feet in this world, I hope you won't forget the inherent benefits of being a jack of all trades: versatility. Sometimes it's an advantage, and paired with your diversity of knowledge, I'm sure something good will result. Take a compliment and bask in its warmth once in a while, hey?

    This always makes me feel a little better because as some of you may know, I am extremely harsh on myself, and still am even now. This is the only card I have received from this person but it's pretty high up my treasured list. There are very few friends who see the uglier sides of me but say things that, firstly aren't mere sugar coating or sweeping under the carpet type statements and secondly with honest and truly encouraging. Person in observation 1 is also another such person.

  3. Some of my bad habits are also shown without people thinking that it's a bad thing. Another card had this to say:
    Really really grateful for all your help. And for your inability to say "NO" =)

    That was probably my biggest weakness next to being incredibly self-critical. I have, since then, learned to say No more often though sometimes with much pain. I'm sure when I read this when I received the card I didn't care too much about it. I can't say the same, reading it again now.

  4. Bonus: the key cards mostly came from what I would label as my most glorious year, the year I killed myself in honours. 

Psalm 19:14

Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 2:30 AM

O God, keep my tongue from evil and my lips from deceit
Help me to be silent in the face of derision, humble in the presence of all.

Open my heart
Open my heart
Open my heart to Your Torah

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart
Be acceptable to You, O God, my Rock and my Redeemer

This is just part of a Hebrew prayer. The full translation of the prayer goes like this:
O God, keep my tongue from evil and my lips from deceit
Help me to be silent in the face of derision, humble in the presence of all
Open my heart to Your Torah, that I may hasten to do Your mitzvot
Save me with Your power, in time of trouble be my answer
That those who love You may rejoice
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart
Be acceptable to You, O God, my Rock and my Redeemer
May the Maker of peace in the high places make peace
Descend upon us and upon all Israel, and let us say: Amen.

How often do we pray like this? We read prayers like this all over Psalms and yet we don't really know how prayers like this were prayed. This song just might give a glimpse as to the attitude of a Jew who constantly look to God, asking God to keep him holy and to be receptive to God's word. Briefly looking through other Hebrew prayers and you can find lots of things to learn about prayer in general, how to pray and the inward attitude towards prayer. There's lots of things that we can learn from the Israelites and I suspect one of them is prayer.

The Last One, I Promise

Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
It was perhaps no coincidence that my role and circumstance in this year's July Camp was exactly the same as back in 2009. Doing the things I love in the hopes of distracting me from something else. And in both cases, the outcome was also exactly the same, limited success. Again, I am now left to searching for something, someone or some group to confide in. As usual, I may find it but as history has shown me, it is most likely a temporary solution. There are many descriptions I can give to describe my current state and how I feel but let's not go there.

There are other limited successes that I've come to enjoy in camp and that would be my very slight contribution to one of the Bible studies when I had some free time. I hope the result of this contribution will lead into something that the next generation of Bible study leaders to bear in mind. Because I think we've never really tried stepping into the lives of the members when we are doing Bible study. General widespread answers yet unwilling to share our struggles with one another which I think creates a deeper impact. Whatever happened to edifying God's people? I certainly hope that we do this more often, I didn't understand this when I was Bible study leading last time and so I hope that others will learn it while they still can. It's not a book club meeting, it's a support group meeting.

While I continue to search, it may very well be the case that what I am called to do is like that of a friend I recently got to know. He has uprooted himself many times for short periods of time to go to different parts of the world making some kind of an impression during that short time and repeat. Whatever the answer is, may I see it with such clarity in the days, months or years to come and not to feel insecure every once in awhile. Everyone has a choice of at least two lifestyles (and I'm not talking about the good vs bad, holy vs unrepentant), this would be one of them. I'll leave it as an exercise to figure out the other lifestyle. It is either one or the other.

Thus, I am making a decision to give myself one more chance before I close the door myself. I might as well try and save my energy for something else. Because it is becoming absolutely tiring to be in this state, waiting. Absolutely. Tiring. After this, no more*. 

It is well.

*Unless the Almighty intervenes. God's sovereignty always comes first.