How To End The Year In Three Dishes

Sunday, January 1, 2012 at 4:08 PM | Posted by Juwen
Capping off a year that's been great, I've decided to end it with a bang. Flying solo, I attempted to cook a three course meal for 8 people and the secret ingredient is.....MMMAAANNNGGGOOO!!! And I think I barely pulled it off. Kudos to Charles for the photos (too busy to take any)


Starter: Prawn salad with mango vinaigrette

Main: Sous-vide duck with mango sauce

Dessert: Mango and ginger sorbet with lemongrass and lime jelly, topped with peanuts and palm sugar

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It is going to be an awesome 2012. I can feel it.

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What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Saturday, December 31, 2011 at 1:00 AM | Posted by Juwen
2011 is drawing to a close. Many good things have happened and I'm sure there are really good things for all of you. For some, it is the signalling of transitioning to a new phase in life, others are just simply enjoying what life has thrown as us. 

It is a time to celebrate with family and/or friends for the good things this year. I know a lot of people are.

 So, what are you doing New Year's eve?


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Hope

Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 7:00 PM | Posted by Juwen
Hope is something that is essential in our daily lives whether we realize it or not. Hope gives us the strength to face the future even when the present (or sometimes the past) is rubbish. Whether it is looking forward to the weekend or pay day, it focuses our attention on other things than the rubbish day we are having and to forget about the past once we have arrived at the place of hope.

We constantly hope for better things because it's the things that we wish to possess, be it material goods or a lifestyle. We want more money, we want happiness, we want contentment, we want a partner, we want to try new things, visit new places, experience different cultures. I would dare say that no one of a sound mind has never hoped for something because we all want whether it is a saviour or an extra zero on your annual salary.

For some people, they hope not just because they want it but also because to see that some good things has to happen even when they have failed to retain those good things. In other words, some form of sanity check, that some form of the understanding of the world is right again. We fail many times over the course of our history, some more severe than others. When we fail badly and see others on the brink of success, we wish that they would succeed not just because it is the right/nice thing to do but also for us to hope against all hope, that we too may find that success someday. Even this is a pretty hard thing to do. Hope is usually never an easy thing to do because we are surrendering ourselves to (presumably) uncertain future in which we have little control of. Hope that others find success when you have not requires some level of humility. But perhaps the hardest thing about this kind of hope is that you may not get that success ever. It may be that you will have your successes elsewhere, just not this particular one. While we might have to resign to this fact at some point, to hope against all hope does make us feel better for the time being. Perhaps that's all we really need to get up and keep going. Perhaps that is what matters.

I saw this drummer at a really nice restaurant and on his bass drum had these words printed on it "Hold to the now where the future plunges into the past". If this was true, there would be no use for hope. We wouldn't want to wish for better things in the future because now is about as good as it gets. Depressing isn't it? While it is probably written as a means to forget our troubles but reality is that this would be just plain ignorance. Nothing truly good can come out of being in a state where we live for the now.

It's actually a good thing to hope even if you think it is for the weak, a crutch. I think hope is one of those things where emotion and intellect meld into one. It expresses human-ness probably more than anything. So keep hoping but on one condition. Hope for the right things.

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The Art of Awkward

Monday, December 26, 2011 at 5:00 AM | Posted by Juwen
What makes things awkward?

It's a question that I have been thinking about for the past couple of months. The motivation for this was because I might soon be living in a situation that breeds awkwardness, more than the usual. I have long skimmed awkwardness aside because I thought it was just a phase and it shall pass. But lately I have been thinking that it is not as simple as it being a "phase".

Let's start with a classic example, a couple. Regardless of who you are, there is always at least one, that one couple you know where virtually everything they do generates awkwardness around them but they are completely oblivious because they are lost in their own world. The awkwardness sometimes even spills over to the individuals that make up the couple. At this point, this scenario still falls under the category of it being a feeling as a by-product of some action. In the case of couples, this action can come from a long list of actions; PDAs, speech, conversation topics, conversation replies and so on. I would call this direct awkwardness, where the source of the awkwardness comes from person(s) generating it. What makes it awkward is the skewed ideology/feeling of what a couple should do around others.

But it also seems that awkwardness can be generated by other people and places it squarely at the couple, even if there was no action that would provoke awkwardness. In other words, making things more awkward than they actually are. Again, I would dare to say, we know of at least one person who can make any situation (even more so around couples) feel awkward. A bit like Joey from the TV sitcom Friends where he can make anything sound dirty. Side note: a friend tried to make "aioli" a dirty word because apparently the orange aioli I made for steak sandwiches is so good that it should illicit some sort of innuendo. I have crazy friends. Anyway, this would then be indirect awkwardness. Things become awkward because of a person's personality, that weird friend of yours who eats awkwardness for breakfast.

Both direct and indirect forms are on the macro scale ie. it affects everyone in the same conversation circle (possibly those who are eavesdropping too). There is a micro level description as well where it is a lot more selective. This happens where when interacting one-on-one with the individuals that make up a couple, nothing happens. But when interacting with both of them, some form of awkwardness emerges. Even if you were to ask the same questions, you'd still feel awkward with the couple than with the individuals. This form does not make any sense at all as to what makes this awkward, at least on the conscious level.

That is my problem. 

It has come to my attention that there is a growing number of people in my circle of friends that I show this micro level behaviour. Some of whom I have known for a very long time and has never had a shred of awkwardness in all those years but yet it appears when I'm talking to a unit that consist of two people. It is something I don't understand and when I don't understand something I don't know how to fix it and so the problem just sits there causing a ruckus. On some occasions I do know what might be the cause of it but am never really sure that it is the root cause. I remember when I was at a friend's wedding recently where the pastor was sharing a few words before the solemnisation that people will see the newly wed couple in a different light, that we can never really go back to looking at them the same way we did when they weren't a couple. I think to a certain extent this is true for couples in general, whether the relationship was 2 days old or married with kids. Perhaps this new perspective is causing me this awkwardness though I'm not exactly sure what this perspective is.

Maybe the idea of awkwardness is the cause. I've told many people that I was particularly scarred after a week long trip to Tasmania a couple of years back. I cannot think of a more awkward stretch of time than this. And since then I have been very compulsive about the number of people and who is going when there's an event. Like anyone who has a genuine phobia, even just the thought of it scares them. I think it may be the case with me and awkwardness.

I want to fix this. With a record breaking 19 engagements this year alone, if I continue to have nothing to do with awkwardness, I will run out of people. And that's not good for this ageing man. I will try and start tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

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Had a great conversation about family with some friends. It's amazing what kinds of stories you get from friends talking about their own family. I guess I should have realised it earlier but when hearing things from other families, you know that your strange family tree is not so strange after all.

Also a friend talked about being stuck at a particular age as you grow older. And I wonder, am I still stuck? Or am I maturing?

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Muddled Thoughts

Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 8:00 PM | Posted by Juwen
Growing up in environments where I was pretty much by myself has its advantages and disadvantages. That meant that I had to find ways to entertain myself and so get accustomed to boredom, learn how to do things myself, figure how to do those things in the first place and so on. But like some things in life, they are double edge swords. For example, being accustomed to boredom means that it is very hard to take the initiative to go out and do/see/explore new places which means not very cultured. Always sticking to the same few things and neither loving it nor hating it. Melbourne is one of those places where there is always something new to explore, some new place that serves great food and drinks and many more. Unfortunately, being schooled in the art of comfortable and excuse making, I do not take some of these opportunities. Most of the time I rely on friends who are way more interesting to be immersed into some niche subculture. A couple of posts ago on shopping is one such incident.

Another double edged sword is the ability to do things yourself. While this is not a bad thing but the aspect that makes it bad is the lack of discernment on when you have to say "I need help". It is not necessarily an ego thing (perhaps it is in my case. If so tell me) but it is just that you are so used to doing things yourself that you still think that you can do this even if it is going to cause you a great deal of pain in the process. I tend to rationalize situations where I think it is still OK to do things myself and to cause myself a great amount of trouble but other friends think that it is clearly not OK to do it yourself. Added to the mix is that I would prefer that I cause myself trouble than to cause others trouble. That means by default I continue to do it myself until when I can safely say that I need help. Usually by that time it is too late and cause immense trouble for, not only me, but to the person that I have enlisted to help out. And that makes me feel even worse, which reinforces my stance that I shouldn't ask people for help. Vicious cycle, ain't it?

Like many old things of habit are, they are hard to change course the longer the habit has been put into place. So it is no surprise that I am still making the same mistakes I did a decade ago, sometimes even longer. I believe that these flawed habits have shaped me to be the person I am now, all my successes and (outnumbered) failures. I hope that I am changing slowly to correct for my misconceptions and of course I hope that it is not too late for that.

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I sometimes revisit past emotions and feelings as a means of understand who I was back then. They are not always positive ones because one shouldn't reflect on just the good things. Recently was one such trip back to the past after accidentally stumbling across some cards lying around. It was a great time where best friends fight it out through thick and thin, share everything, to have the first instinct of telling the friend the moment something comes up. But alas, that no longer happens and it would be great if I could have that environment again. But it was also a time of great criticism, a division of friends. Heck I got "scolded" by a friend on this because he seriously questioned my approach. And he definitely has the credentials to back it up, as of earlier this year. Can you blame me for hiding after that, realizing I should have known better than to dive into something that I haven't really got my head screwed on tight?

Listening to Explosions In The Sky is not really helping right now.

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Got like the funniest Kris Kringle present ever yesterday. A pack of 6 bottles of glittery nail polish. I shall paint my wall with it.

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Now in the new place, I'm having trouble to try and fill the space in the room. I've been living in various shoebox sizes in the past and so don't really accumulate a lot of things. Now that I'm in the biggest room ever since I step foot in Melbourne, I don't know what to do with all this space. It's actually starting to drive me nuts. Plenty of ideas but need the time to actually sort it out. Not to mention implement it, which is pretty hard for a procrastinator. 

I'l try not to think twice.

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So Cheok Man, The Wedding

Sunday, December 11, 2011 at 1:00 AM | Posted by Juwen
Came back from one of the best wedding I've attended. Weather forecast said it was going to rain, thunderstorm even, but given what had happened I'd say that God had his way.

About 50 km away in a winery where the wedding was to happen, the sun was out and there were very nice fluffy clouds. Very beautiful chapel in the premises, beautiful area. You could not ask for a better weather for the wedding. Going inside the chapel, the lighting was just crazy. You could randomly shoot inside and your pictures would turn out super (OK not really but more super than usual). The ceremony was wonderful and seeing two of my friends tying the knot and of course to hear the endless Superman references (see last post).

Had some drinks and then lunch. The dining area was great and instead of the typical round tables with individual portions of food, there were long rectangular tables and food to share. Fantastic! I love it! Not to mention the tables were very well decorated. It was all so good. Speeches made by the brother of the groom and the groom himself are just epic, making us laugh, awed, and have tremendous respect for who they are in viewing this marriage. And how sweet of the groom to sing despite losing his voice to his bride a medley of love songs picked from at least 20 different songs. Then a duet from the both of them. All. So. Magical. Soon after the dance floor was open and being mostly Asian, dancing don't mix well with us. Not until we're well boozed up at least. But the groom warmed us up enough to start the ball rolling. Then the groom played DJ and chose some epic retro songs and before you can say "I'm going to have another glass of wine instead", people were dancing to YMCA, Never Gonna Give You Up, Rock DJ and many more. And the groom has got some moves to boot as well. 

I tell you, you cannot ask for a more perfect setting for this wedding for a perfect couple. Congratulations Heng Khuen and Karen!

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Gorgeous. Super gorgeous.

There is no way.

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Oh (Male) Deer!

Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 2:30 AM | Posted by Juwen
aka. The Best Bucks Night. EVER!

 Many things have come and gone lately, all while being pretty busy at work and also the weekends have been pretty full as well. But none, I repeat, none can beat last week's event which I will forever remember. No amount of monkeys with typewriters could ever come up with a script like this ever (Okay, I lied. But it still takes a very long time).

Surfing and horse riding during the day was pretty good but nothing could ever prepare us for what was to come when the sun goes down. I have to say that I now swear by the effectiveness of a wetsuit in very cold temperature waters. I was even thinking of wearing one when winter comes round because as you know, I hate the cold.

The fun began when we went for dinner after horse riding. The groom was then notified that things are starting to get very interesting and so revealed that he will be wearing a Superman costume for the rest of the night, inspired by a photo that was taken together with his fiance. The task for the night was to approach random women on the street, gathering intel and try to land a kiss from them. Seems pretty normal for a buck's night to me, all the while the groom publicly professes that he hated us, defriending us and what not's. But you can tell that he was secretly having a lot of fun too. The aim was to gather 100 points for this to be over. After quite awhile, he needed one more random woman on the street to complete the task. 

Crossing the road into Flinders Street station in search of the last woman, this one particular woman stood out like a sore thumb. It was no surprise because that woman was dressed like this...

I kid you not. The very last person he needed happened to be Wonder Woman. I shouted to him "GO!! NAO!!!1!" while pointing furiously towards her. He went and she played along! The rest of us guys were giggling like little schoolgirls and whispering in a very dude manner " THIS IS TOO AWESOME!". Many photos later, and he was done with the task. Because this ended on such an epic character and earning the respect from the rest of us guys, we sang the Superman theme song at every intersection on the way back to the car.

Just when we think the day was over, drama! A noise was heard by Superman and immediately darted off towards a gathering of people. A man was hit by a car that ran a red light and was down and in dire need of assistance. 

Oh, I forgot to tell you that Superman was also an emergency department doctor. So darting off towards the scene, his cape fluttered behind him. You can see where this is going. He had a hard time convincing the people there that he was really an emergency department doctor but managed to break through. Handled the victim until the ambulance arrived but the victim was going to make it thanks to the swift action of Superman. Of course the rest of us guys were busy taking photos of the event, again giggling like schoolgirls and saying to each other "What are the chances that all of this were to happen?" Once the victim was carried off in the ambulance and the police were done taking his details, he came back to us and we were just in shock that this happened. So we sang the Superman theme song even louder on the way back to the car.

Secretly we came to the conclusion that the public must know about this eventful bucks night for it is too awesome to keep it to ourselves. So we contacted newspaper agencies around telling them this story with the photos we took. And guess what? Page 9 of the Herald Sun, last Thursday ran the story. My brain is about to explode from all of this. And apparently last I heard was that there might even be a short segment on Channel 7's morning program Sunrise. Mind = blown.

Considering that this was my first bucks, the bar has been set pretty damn high. Heck, even if I were to get married, my buck's wouldn't even be in the same galaxy on the scale of awesomeness as this epic night. Dayum.

And so this brave young man is going to get married later today which I think is going to be one epic wedding as well. One final mind blowing thought to leave you, the person he is marrying runs an online magazine. Like a reporter. Get it?

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It's been awhile since I had a very long talk with a friend on relationships. It has been interesting but it also brought up a lot of things that I've learned in the past. Considering the number of people getting together, getting engaged ( ! ) and married are spiking lately, it is no surprise that I ponder about these things and how they will affect me and my friends who are attached. So far I have to say that I act like an ass to most people, which of course is not good. But some seems to impart a little more thinking and less jackassery on me. One particular instance was how strikingly similiar another friend's situation was to mine 3 years back. I'm sure this has some implications attached to it, I'm just not sure what is the appropriate choice of action I should take.

And of course I ponder about myself too.

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Lately I've been feeling more cluckish than usual. But I'd probably fail in that too. Not that I'll get there anyway.

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