Addendum

Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 11:47 PM | Posted by Juwen
So apparently DVD marathon #3 didn't quite end with those 15 movies that I borrowed the last time. Impromptu thing. I'm sure you understand.

  1. Firefly - This is a series that just show that a good concept and good characters will not survive without general popularity. It's a big mish-mash of stuff put together to give an interesting but short TV series. Post apocalyptic, western theme science fiction with expletives in Chinese. Probably a bit too strange for the average American audience and probably a bit slow initially. Which is a pity that it got pretty interesting a lot later on but too bad the show was canceled. I think it's not bad but I'm pretty sure that this series is not for everyone, even hardcore science fiction fans. Anyway, it's only about 14-15 episodes long.
  2. Serenity - The feature length movie continuing from where Firefly left off and this is clearly a big change in terms of how they style the show to appeal to the mass audience. Instead of heavy western motives that you see in the series, it has been significantly cut back and gave it a slightly cleaner futuristic look. The great thing is that they managed to get the entire main cast of Firefly back into the movie to get back as much of the chemistry from the series to the movie. Non-watchers of the series shouldn't find it too difficult to jump into the movie but it's obviously better if you did. It's still a pretty good science fiction movie. And yes, the expletives in Chinese is still a little weird to me.
  3. My Blueberry Nights - Continuing my run of watching Wong Kar Wai's movies. Very noir story telling style, something that I really love, coupled with slow 15-ish frames per second sequences reminiscent of 2046. Colours are saturated, blues and jazz and almost constant night scenes add to the noir feeling (although some might argue about the colour being noir. Ironic you say.) The special features of the DVD had a Q&A session with the director and it's just interesting to see how he thinks and how he translates his "script" to film. Great stuff. The movie too.

There are just some days that you just don't understand anything anymore. Things that you think you've got it figured out suddenly had a wrench thrown in by some random monkey. Friends you've mixed around for quite awhile suddenly feel like strangers. Or even things that you don't understand at all just coming back to annoying poke its finger at you. And so on. Have had a few of those recently and it's a fairly frustrating thing to live through. Some of it is entirely your own fault, others are just a by-product of chance and bad timing. On hindsight of course.

One that recently surfaced was the issue of this image that I seem to carry around. For many instances, I've had dozens of people essentially express a very high opinion of my abilities of which I don't think I deserve, that I am capable of great things, things far greater than what I think is the proper ball park figure. This ranges from a wide range of my dabblings such as cooking, photography, my academic disposition etc. There are some that I can let it slide for example cooking. It's just feasible that my ball park figure can be a bit higher than what I think simply because the variables in the game are easier to predict or learn as I do tend to think in cooking (some may argue against this). Photography, not so much although some friends of mine tend to think otherwise. But the one thing that I am quite stubborn about is my recent move to the area of computer science.

Despite my grades what my grades may tell you, I really am playing second fiddle to everyone else who is in this business. Possibly third. And here I am getting comments that I am capable of doing something great, like writing a killer app or something to that effect or to be able to get into that exclusive workshop affiliated with a certain fruit that keeps the doctor away. One, this area is almost certainly short term in its mission. There is no heart or passion that is poured into it, just pure drive to get the job done. That by my definition is not the sufficient condition to be great. Two, it's an area where hands on work is valued more than what you've got on a piece of paper. And I'm a person nearing 30 and I've only barely scratched the surface in this area compared to the thousands who've tinkered with computers before they've even hit puberty. Add the two together and you can see why my ball park figure isn't going above sea level.

According to a good friend of mine, it is all in the image I portray. How good I talk, how good I present myself will give them some sort of a judgment about my abilities and what nots, which I agree whole-heartedly. If this is the case that I am presenting a self-image which gives them the illusion of reputation that precedes me, to give them a relatively high expectation of my skill sets, then I am guilty of a crime. A crime of false advertising. Worse is that I may not be fully aware of it at all. I may seem like I know my stuff but judging from past experience, that is far from the case. Which means all of this talk about why people view me highly, on why can't they see what I'm really made of, is essentially my fault. That, my few fellow readers, is a very dangerous thing to know and do. Subconsciously know and do. I could get into a lot of trouble just strictly on the basis of high expectation that I somehow set myself up and indeed I have a couple of times.

So, problem identified. Now what? If I've learned a few things from the behavioural economics books that I've been reading, is that foreknowledge about something before actually seeing it in person (or in action) reshapes our thinking, our expectations. So, using that piece of information, if I really want to eliminate this expectation and make people see things first before laying down the fancy jargon or passionate discussions on the subject matter...

...I should just shut up and just let them see it for themselves first.

I'd probably emphasize on the shutting up. It's the less talking, more doing stance that should be taken here. So I realized that there's a lot of empty chatter on technicalities on the matter and very little of actually showing it off hand that I've done. Hopefully, it will be the other way around at the end of the day.

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It's amazing what a couple of hours plus a movie can do to your thought processes.

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Trois

Saturday, February 19, 2011 at 3:25 PM | Posted by Juwen
More DVDs to pass the time since being internet-less for about 2 weeks now. And I'm still internet-less.

From top to bottom, left to right in chronological order:
  1. Enchanted - Yes, I didn't watch it when it first came out. When every major lovey-dovey princess themed animated Disney movie is essentially compressed into this, it actually becomes so ludacris that it's actually funny. Not bad though the ending was kinda rushed. And that Idina Menzel didn't sing in the movie. Not happy.
  2. Enron - A documentary on how one of the biggest trading companies fell to its knees in 24 days after spending 15 years increasing their supposed assets from $10 billion to $65 billion due to very creative accounting. Even with this big event happening way before the financial crash of 2008 and bear in mind this happened in 2001, people still don't learn that greed kills everyone, including the person seeking it.
  3. Pulp Fiction - Having finally watched this movie, I now understand why this is such a cult classic movie. The lines and scenes are hilarious and something that should be remembered. There's a lot of big names here that I didn't expect. A few notable characters were Samuel L. Jackson and the small part that the director Quentin Tarantino played. Must watch although I have to warn that profanity is abundant and some rather questionable scenes.
  4. Departed - In short, I didn't like it. Took very long to build the momentum and the ending, like everyone said when it first came out, was "Huh??". Should have watched Infernal Affairs instead. Or maybe not.
  5. Ponyo - Didn't watch it when it came out in cinemas but it's still a nice story to watch. The animation this time felt a bit different than say Howl's Moving Castle especially the background. The background looks so textural, like it was coloured with colour pencils. Super like. I didn't watch the English dubbed version but there are so many high profile actors who lend their voices such as Liam Neeson, Cate Blanchette, Tina Fey and many more.
  6. New York, New York - This is where the famous song of the same title came from. Very long movie with the first 2+ hours being essentially watching a train wreck between two people who essentially brought the song into existence. Robert deNiro played well as a jerk and it's interesting to see a more normal looking Liza Minnelli, on-screen character wise.
  7. La Vita e Dolce (Life is Beautiful) - It's hard to infuse humour or light-heartedness into a movie that is about the Holocaust because of the great tragedy that surrounds the event. This movie however manages to do just that, not trying to sugar coat it but using humour to survive in such perilous times. The main actor Roberto Benigni looks a lot like a friend of mine from some angles and his character has the energy and humour of some of the older musical-movies. Great to watch.
  8. The Wizard of Oz - Finally, after so long, I watched it. First thing to note is how immense was the production of this movie back in its time. Financially it was such a big gamble with lots of money being poured in for the costumes and props etc. Sure you can see the string cables hanging in frame etc but that's not really the point (and not have the technology to do so then). It is really something to see the Judy Garland sing the iconic song Somewhere Over The Rainbow in all of its sepia look. Such a classic that it's one of those movies every American knows so well. The special features of the DVD are also worth a watch.
  9. Funny Face - Oh. My. Goodness. I love this! Super love this! If you think Audrey Hepburn is gorgeous in Breakfast at Tiffany's, you should so totally see her here. Fashion plays a big part in this musical and it really shows off her elegance. Awesome stuff! The music was great and loved every single one of them including the song of the same title. Swoon.
  10. An American In Paris - Same guy from Singing In The Rain, Gene Kelly, portrays a struggling painter in Paris having to find love and success in his work. Not bad though the final dance scene was quite draggy. It doesn't quite have the same on-screen chemistry with the rest of the actors as in Singing In The Rain which is a pity. One thing I do really like was their version of S'Wonderful S'Marvelous. A bit better than the version done in Funny Face. After seeing Singing In The Rain and this one, you can really tell the style of Gene Kelly's dance choreography.
  11. Mukhsin - Despite me being a huge fan of Yasmin Ahmad, I've not actually seen any of her films. Sad I know. Great story of a progressing friendship that has the potential to become something more but alas it was not meant to be. Along with other subtle problems that face the family, neighbours and even with each other. On the slow side, you should watch it. Also, this reminds me a lot of my childhood years although I didn't live in a relative kampung setting. Such as the game of galah panjang played by the children, a game that I used to play in primary school a lot.
  12. Days of Being Wild - Three seemingly separate stories intertwined into one film. An adopted son having problems in both his love life and with his adopted mother, his determination to find his biological mother and a cop turned sailor thinking about life and love. Another slow movie but it is always great to see Wong Kar Wai's story telling abilities.
  13. Paris, Je T'aime - 16 short stories film around the iconic city of Paris featuring quite a few famous people. Some are like "Huh??" and others are great. Worth a watch I think.
  14. The Scent of Green Papaya - The slowest of all the DVDs I watched with long scenes of continuous camera panning and tracking. There's also very little dialogue but it is enough to give you information on what is going on. It shows a lot of serenity and calmness of a servant girl in the midst of her master's family troubles as well as a nation wide problem in late '50s Vietnam. Hard to recommend especially those who find it hard to sit still and plow through a very slow movie but if you can, it's probably worth a watch.
  15. Four Lions - It is very easy to overthink this movie and be ever ready to rain condemnation on this movie as it touches on very sensitive topics like Islamic terrorism and the likes. At its basic level, it's basically Dumb and Dumber except the characters are Muslim. The stupidity of the characters as they plan their jihad attacks in London is hilarious, in the British humour sense which makes it so easy to criticise this as being intolerant to Islam. It is comedy at its heart but it's one of those where you have to take it with a pinch of salt. Watch at your own risk, this is a pretty divisive comedic film. You'll either love it or hate it.
Three days plus a bit. Record time.

One thing that I seemed to have noticed is that there are common themes in the DVDs that I have been watching. The guys are seriously persistent in chasing the girls, some in situations where I would never EVER do. The success of these guys on screen is a bit of a hit and miss, some got the girl and they lived happily ever after (presumably) or some end up in train wrecks. Of course not all of the DVDs have this theme but more than what I'd expect.

Which leads me to this question: How persistent should a guy be? A question of great importance for self-aware guys such as myself.

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An Essay and a Thought

Thursday, February 3, 2011 at 11:02 AM | Posted by Juwen
Ok, I was going to write this earlier but then recovering from 8 glasses of wine with 0 glasses of water took a bit out of me. Not smart.

For those who haven't noticed yet, it's Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Chai! And whatever version you normally say according to your dialect.

Chinese New Year is one of those things that, I find, have lost a lot of meaning as time passes by. I admit that there are somethings that are purely my fault in contributing to this but not critical. It's not that I hate Chinese New Year (although at some point in time I kinda did, apart from all the ang pau [red packets for those not in the know] that I will receive) or just being cynical about the whole atmosphere. I just feel very sad.

You must be thinking "What the hell? There's awesome stuff-your-face-abundance of food, ang pau, the general fun and laughter of the entire extended family, ridiculous CNY songs and TV programs to make fun of. How can you not look forward to it?" and you are right. Or at least it's partially right.

Being a person who has not celebrated Chinese New Year for about 7 years...Well, that's not really true. 7 years of not celebrating it like how I remembered. The first couple of years in those times were at a point where my nuclear family went through a minefield. Some lucky escapes but the damage has been done. This of course generated additional consequences to my extended family and thus how we (as a nuclear family) proceeded with the usual Chinese New Year traditions. Let's just say it's not pretty but now we're good, I think. The remaining years were my fault and this is where I was chasing the dream but as some of you know has hit a massive speed bump. At best that dream may be achieved again in 10 years time. So that is 7 years worth of lost family time. To which I didn't try or unable to try to regain.

But that is not the only reason why I've kinda lost the meaning although I would say it plays a major part in shaping my Chinese New Year traditions, whatever is left of it. The saying "You don't know what you've got until it's gone" couldn't have summed it up better. The usual Chinese New Year traditions involves making a 3.5 hour trip to Penang, staying at my grandmother's house together with the rest of the extended family, steamboat reunion dinner, going around from place to place in Penang to visit all these uncle and aunties whom some of them I've not known if it weren't for these traditions and of course stuffing your face with food everywhere in between. At its peak, my grandmother's house will have no less than 15 people living under one roof. The great thing about my dad's side of the family is that everyone of his relatives are still living in Penang with the exception of one of his sisters and us. So visiting people is a lot easier plus they are really great people. If that is not enough to scream "Oh what joy!" I don't know what will. My achilles heel was that I am stranger to my own mother tongue/dialect. This means that I have difficulty talking to a lot of them, especially my grandmother. And this was a big wet blanket to my Chinese New Year spirit and have lost a little of the magic so to speak. But this was when I was a child. Towards the couple of years before my grandmother passed away, it came back and I think it was because I was being treated as an adult, an individual and of course the feeling that I should reconnect with my roots. Unfortunately, my grandmother was very old and had dementia and couldn't recognize a lot of us longer than a few minutes. But that never stopped me from trying.

It was when my grandmother passed away did things take a turn, for the worse unfortunately. Grandmother died 2 months after arriving in Australia and quite immediately after did my family hit the minefield. So basically, that was the trigger. I couldn't go back for her funeral, I was disgustingly angry at my family particularly at one person and later would realize that that would be the end of my usual Chinese New Year traditions, so far. Until this day, I've not seen my dad's side of the family since my departure to Australia. This shifted the celebrations over to my mother's side of the family who are like everywhere but most of them are in Melbourne. I don't quite feel Chinese New Year every time I celebrate with them because unlike my dad's side, they still persist in using the label of "kids" on us even though we are very well into our 20s. So there are always 2 tables, one for the "adults" and one for the "kids". Why I don't like this is because the age difference between the oldest and the youngest in the "kids" table is larger than the age difference of the adults table and some of us are approaching the dreaded three-oh *cough* Heck there are people younger than me on the adults table but the exception is that they are married. In fact everyone in that table are married. This does a lot to my subsequent thought processes but I shall leave it at there. Second, over-the-table conversations are almost always about business. There is very little talk about everything else. It seems that it is assumed that everyone is interested in business and whatever words of wisdom as far as money goes one will always listen because that's what makes the world go round. Hence, all this empty chatter about business leaving me to talk to my best friend, my iPhone. Thirdly, food. Since learning to cook (and some fairly arduous recipes), I understand the feeling of making things from scratch as well as the feeling of others who share in home cooked food. So you can imagine my love for food when at my dad's side of the family when every thing on the table is cooked at home. The best soy sauce pork, preserved vegetable soup and a whole lot of other things can be found in that house. Jump over to my mum's side and what I get is...restaurants. Every single time we all eat is at restaurants. Even when they are back in Malaysia, they have a stronger preference for restaurant food than hawker food (sacrilegious I tell you). This year is a bit different, we ate at home. But half the food were brought back from somewhere. Their choices in food are a bit of a hit and miss but it was good this time but no way does it compare with entirely home cooked food. Bear in mind that you have to think this from their business point of view which is about convenience, maximizing pleasure while exerting the least amount of effort. As a side note, my dad is a pretty awesome cook and used to cook simple but kick-ass dishes at home but is no longer the case since we've left the nest, so to speak. Now every time we come back, we've always gone out for food and never eat at home. Sad? Yes.

So, hearing of all this excellent speak from friends (especially the Singaporeans. Why them is another story) via the usual social sites on how great their Chinese New Year have been with family, the food etc. one can only reminisce about the good old days where it used to be like that. So one of my short term goals now is to go back to Penang for Chinese New Year plus a bit more, perhaps just by myself. And again I might not have much time left just like when my grandmother was around.

So go ahead and enjoy your Chinese New Year. For it may not last the way you used to remember it, God forbid. And I look forward to when I finally can enjoy it the way I used to enjoy it, be it with my usual extended family or the family of another that does this. I may be a stranger to my own mother tongue and traditions but that doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

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Now if you are born in my generation or the generations before me, it is very likely that your parents come from fairly large families. 4-7 siblings is quite common but there are sides of the family that contain 10+ siblings. This makes Chinese New Year fairly big on any account once you add all your uncles and aunties and your cousins, it makes one (very) big happy family. And who can say that it's not fun? Think of all the ang pau that you'll get! Family dinners get huge and loud and crazy which I guess adds to the festivities.

Come to my generation and ahead of me, family sizes have shrunk dramatically. 2-3 siblings are the norm, but probably more 2. Fast forward a couple of generations where my parents generation have passed on and we find that the extended families have shrunk as well. We don't have a lot of cousins, uncles or aunties by virtue of the nuclear family sizes of today and we have a lot of distant cousins which if my own observations are true, are not much in contact. So Chinese New Years will be fairly small in comparison of the generations before that.

We take pride in the fact that we have this huge family "database" to make the festivities grand but how much of that will change we that "database" have shrunk considerably? Will these families be more close because extended families are smaller and thus easier to communicate/catch-up with? Or will it morph into something totally unexpected? What used to be just a strictly family affair, can it include social families into the celebrations to make up for the lack in extended family size? One where we invite our neighbours and their families, our friends and their families to join in? If we really do take pride in have big, loud and crazy gatherings for Chinese New Year, then this picture is probably the best prediction of where things are going to be a couple of generations down the road (which is actually quite a long time to wait given our current life expectancy unless Jesus comes again or some major global disaster hits). That's interesting because then the world just got smaller, breaking down the apparent barrier between strictly family and the rest of the community. Not only we spend less time with family relative to our generation because of the size but we spend more time with someone else's family. This mish-mash of family and friends at the dinner table will ultimately result in reducing our degrees of separation down even more.

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